My Secret Monologue

The New Members of the Family

2010-01-31T19:31:00.006+08:00

We decided to name the puppies Tobi, Sapi, Kapis and Copy. The new mother, Jazzy, is still very protective over her puppies. What a good mother she is! Here's the photo of them.

Finally an update!

2010-01-13T20:38:00.009+08:00

So, it's now 2010. Finally. How time refused to fly when I am not having fun. LOL

I'm back to work again after a long good holiday in OZ. I don't know why but I'm so glad to be back to work again. Some friends said I'm crazy for feeling guilty having to receive full pay on my holiday. What can I say, it's not something that I made up, it's really what I feel for getting paid on my holiday. I'm taking tax payers' money for sitting at home with my legs crossed, how can I say I'm happy? I'd be lying if I said I was not happy when I made my trips to Penrith shops but still, when I go to bed and reflecting on what good and bad things I've done during the day, it falls on 'bad things' category. Well?

I know I have not being true to myself (again) when I said I will make an effort to keep writing here. This time I won't blame it on anything, this is just how I work with this blog. Although I am not very consistent with my blog, I still love reading other people's blog. I love commenting on their writings too. Sometimes I emailed the blogger to praise on their marvelous writing style as a way of encouraging them to keep good post coming. Can't blame me, can you? After all, their writings are my reason to surf the net. Otherwise, I would just subscribe newspapers and read on all the government lies!

Most of my favourite blogger could make me feel like I am reading them, sitting next to them - scrutinizing their brains. Some of them are really awesome that I can't wait to read their updates. Among all blogs that I read, those racists and religion fanatic blogger are the only ones that annoy me the most . NO, I'm not a fan, but somehow I keep coming to their blog to see how far those shallow people could go with their shallow opinions. Many times I go back there only to prove to myself that other people out there too, have bad days like me. Only they could not get over it and therefore taking it on other people. Visiting their blogs is kind of reminder to myself : If I don't get over my bad day, I could end up exactly like them! Touchwood.

You see, every time I got inspired by people's excellent writing, I craved so much to be like them. I would work my brain on ideas, drafting for days, but you know lah, people like me is never talented at anything. Ordinary people like me with ordinary English vocabulary could only produce ordinary writing. I never wonder why my visitors never return or subscribe or have anything to do with my blog. Oh well.

Enough with that. Let me bore you with something else.

I am planning to join Monkey in OZ for good this year. To be honest, I can't say I am up for it for I still love what I am doing here in my hometown. It's not about me starting to fall in love with my job; it's the hometown and its people. When I was growing up, I wanted so much to get out from my hometown. I hated everything in here. All I wanted to do was to be a grown up and then disappeared forever. As I grew up and traveled some part of this globe, I started to realize, I did not hate my hometown. It was not the town that made me sick- it was my parents. I later learnt that 'home' was what I wanted to leave.

Now that I'm back to my hometown and living separately from my parents, I am able to see the beauty of my hometown. I started to love it, I want to live here. Though it's only a small and quiet one, it offers me serenity and security. The people are sooooooo good, I feel accepted and appreciated here. But my husband needs me, just like I need him too. He has been sacrificing a lot for me in the last five years. He did everything to make me happy and comfortable, even though things he did were against his own pleasure. He put me first before his own needs. Five years is a long time, it is enough time already. I guess it is now my turn to pay back his goodness to me. He deserves every bit of it. I am trying my best to prepare my mental for this plan.

One thing I know I should not do is to worry about this. I believe god will only let me experience life within my ability. It's soooo good to believe in god, isn't it?

A picture tells a thousand stories (3)

2009-11-15T23:53:00.012+08:00

Last Saturday I visited my mum at her hometown. It was suppose to be a day trip but you know lah, my mum is very good at making me feel guilty for not spending more time with her. I do love spending time with my mum, I love her very much. Just that weekend, I had so many things going on at work. I was suppose to be at work on Saturday to finalize preparation for school sport day on Monday.

Anyways, I stayed. When I woke up in the morning, there sat one of my aunts next to my bed, already waiting for me to open my eyes. Apparently I 'already' had a plan for that day. Just, it was not me who planned it. My mum and aunt were very excited to take me to my aunt's orchard. I'd prefer sleep in to walking in the orchard under the hot sun but arrgghhh....I did not have the heart to disappoint them! Of course I knew by agreeing to go, I will be the one who will drive and also carry a few sacks of fruits back to the car... but what option did I have? These old people have those weird voices. When you hear them, you can't help but to keep your mouth shut and nod your head against your will. Damn, can't wait to be old and get those weird voice! It must be fun to make younger people nod their head every time I speak.

Although I went in a grumpy mood, I must say it was surprisingly a pleasant trip. Despite the hot sun and mosquitoes attack, I enjoyed picking the fruits from the tree and ate them like nobody's business. They seems to be more delicious when they are totally free. Maybe the joy was also because we stopped at the next orchard (belongs to my late grandpapa) to say hello to him at his grave. I have been missing him so much. Being able to visit him and tell him I love him was really, erm ... I don't' know, nice? Relieving? I'm glad my oldies dragged me with them that day.

I took a few photos using my old phone (Note to hubby: it's really time we should consider getting me a good phone and a digital camera!). I put little stories too so we all know what they are.

Cempedak trees. The fruits taste very sweet.

On the way to grandpapa's grave..

Hello grandpapa!

Grandpapa was buried in his orchard. Next to his grave is a big bambangan tree. It's almost past the season but it must be our good luck, there were still some for us.

While collecting the fruits, my aunt said, if I ever needed herb for treating scabs (touch wood, I never want to have scabs!) I should remember this plant:

She did say the name of this plant in Dusun but I don't remember it anymore. If I'm not mistaken, she said Kuinin or something like that. Just out of curiosity, I googled 'Herbs in Malaysia'. I was surprised to find out it was the famous 'Tongkat Ali'. I was like, wow, we have Tongkat Ali trees as weeds in our orchard? They are everywhere! How cool is that?

(It's funny that my aunt uses Tongkat Ali to cure scabs. I thought it was well known as to make men stronger in bed. Lol!)

By the way, these are the people who made me nodded my head against my will. Love you guys. You're the best!

When I got home, I made my first attempt to make my first Bambangan pickles. I hope it will come out edible!

Ta ta!

Sharing is Caring

2009-11-01T11:50:00.008+08:00

Yup, that's my blood flowing out of my body. Probably it is now dripping into someone's body, saving their life.

It's been many years since last I donated my blood. I used to do this on a regular basis when I was still a college student. When I got married and started working, I guess I got a little busy coping with my new life and forgot to share love in this way.

As you may already know, I do occasionally boast on my bags or shoes or new books. I do also love to exaggerate on how bad is my day or how much I love my husband. But one thing I do not do is talking about my charity works, it's something I keep to myself. However, this time I give an exception to this one particular thing I did; donating my blood. I'm boasting it right here right now. Please notice it, feel disgusted and leave. Or, keep reading and tell me in the comment box that you agree with me too.

It popped out in 'how's your day' phone call between me and monkey. When he learned that I donated my blood, he freaked out! He thought I did it to have 'extra money' (eeewwww! I feel dirty typing that!). According to him, some people in his country (and probably also in many countries around the globe) are doing it for living.

EEEEWWWWW!!!

He only calmed down when I explained to him that I DO NOT give my blood for money, that is why I call it DONATE. True, they provided refreshment after the process but it doesn't count as a 'price' for my blood. It was just their way to say thank you, that's all. Oh, and yes, they will keep record of my 'kindness' and give me special room next time when I get sick and need to be hospitalized. But heck, who's waiting to get sick and be hospitalized? Not me, touch wood.

We all may have our different opinions and beliefs but seriously, it hurts to know that people make a living out of their 'free blood'. GROSS! I'm not saying I'm a saint or anything for giving my blood for free. My point is, god has blessed us with good health, He gives us beautiful and perfect body too, COSTLESS. Why would we go out and share the bless with price? Why? Counting our blessing is not enough, is it?

Again, we all may have different opinions and beliefs. Sometimes we may agree with others and view our opinions again. But on this one, I stay hard and firm, you know what I mean. If you are sharing something that is given by god, share it with love. Love is priceless, so share it price-less.

Though, I hope I don't sound like I'm announcing to the world that I'm giving out all my blood. Please don't take it like that because I need to keep some for myself too. Also, do note that my blood is not available all the time because FYI, I'm very scared of the needle. It's big and not to mention, it sucks blood!

I will only do this every 3 months as recommended by doctors. So, if you need some, talk to me 3 months from now. And don't worry, your body will like my blood, it's O+.

Ow, I just realised something. Maybe that is why mosquitoes like me too?

Nooooooo!!!!!

A picture tells a thousand stories (2)

2009-10-27T21:48:00.006+08:00

Dearest lil bro Jeb,

As you requested, here's the photos of our little apartment in KK. Forgive the quality, they were taken using my cheap old mobile phone camera. The house is still in a mess and needs a lot of works, but nonetheless a perfect shelter for when you get stranded in the city. Lol!

So, I assume you'll do the kitchen cabinet and the rest of the kitchen's stuffs, ya? Oh, and also the laundry area? Thank you. He he.

Living room

Dining area

My bedroom (because I can)

Still my bedroom

Second bedroom...

...and this can be yours if you clean it.

Empty Kitchen

Laundry area, also empty

The 2nd toilet, in case you have not seen a toilet before
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and these legs are belong to someone who has lost a total of 2.5kg in 2 weeks.

Guess who?

The Wedding Finger (Chinese Version)

2009-10-22T21:49:00.005+08:00

My dearest friend, Shirlene, forwarded this to me. I thought it was nice and somehow convincing, so I share it here. Enjoy!

Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger?

There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese .....

*******************

The thumb represents your Parents.

The second (index) finger represents your Siblings.

The middle finger represents you.

The fourth (ring) finger represents your Life Partner.

The last (little) finger represents your children.

************************************

First, open your palms (face to face),bend the middle fingers and hold them together,back to back.

Second, open and hold the remaining three fingersand the thumb - tip to tip.
(As shown in the figure below):

Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents). They will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later.

Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings).. They will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their separate lives.

Now rejoin the index fingers and separate your little fingers (representing your children). They will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day.

Finally, rejoin your little fingers, and try to separate your ring fingers (representing your spouse). You'll be surprised to see that you just CANNOT, because husband & wife have to remain together all their lives - through thick and thin!!

What can possibly beat this?

2009-10-19T19:40:00.002+08:00

Sedaaapppp!!!!

A picture tells a thousand stories (1)

2009-10-17T15:02:00.010+08:00

Notes:

* These photo were taken last year during my family annual activity; planting padi in my grandparents paddy field. All of the people in the photos are my family members, who requested to be unnamed here.

** There are reasons why I was not in the photo. As an animal lover and protector, I am against animals slave. As you can see in the photo, buffalo were used to plow the field. Although I am quite resilient on what I believe, for some reasons I could not convince my family members to believe it too (which is a shame). So, I decided not to help them in the field and took preparing lunch task instead. Plus, I am so damn scared of leaches. I think they could harm me in many ways and feast on me after defeating me. No way I'm exposing myself to that sort of danger.

*** If you ever thought of experiencing real country life, why not makes it come true? Come to our place in Borneo and experience traditional country Dusun life. You can stay here for nothing, my family love visitors. Don't worry, you won't end up in our pot. Lol! But you have to put up with our old country house and probably food you never tasted in your life. Oh, and also my grandfather. He would tell you non-stop stories about World War II and how much we are a lucky generation. Do expect that from our 100+ years old Aki.

A note to Dale, Nash and Ijad (MMU 2005)

2009-10-16T11:25:00.004+08:00

Hey guys, whoever and wherever you are. I don’t know you guys personally but I do enjoy your short clip. Forgive me for not remembering where I got it from though; it has been residing in my thumb drive and now in my laptop for a very long time.

I hope you guys don’t mind me making your clip my ‘medicine’ whenever I feel down. Somehow it works very well every time for me. I must thank you for this funny yet very brilliant and intelligent clip of yours. Without it, I cannot imagine how hard it would be for me to get through my hard times. You guys make me laugh and dance a little every time I watch your clip. It makes me forget my problems for a while. It cheers me up every time.

One day when all the money in this world found my location and come home to me, I will send three sacks of them to each of you. That’s for making me laugh. Another 3 sacks each for your excellent sense of humor and intelligence. And another 3 sacks each for being so cute.

If I was single, I would marry all of you. Seriously. I love you guys. I really do. Although we don’t know each other, taking what you guys have done for me these past few years (and still counting) into account, I think it’s not too much for me to wish you well and pray may god gives you good health and good life.

Sheez. What a lame wishes, right?

Oh, and I hope you guys don’t mind me sharing the clip here. Good things must share to the world.

Here, peeps. Please enjoy them too!

Love from me,

Miss E

(An animal protector, chocolate lover, lousy wife, a little bit fat, a lazy and boring person and so many more, you don't want to know them all.)

A Fierce Bear?

2009-10-15T20:30:00.011+08:00

No, I am not, sir. I am nothing like the image above.

But how come I earned a mean nick name, Miss Bear, at work? I first heard about it today from my colleagues. They did mention who started it but had no idea if it was for sure. For a minute, I thought I could eat a boy. One particular boy named N**** from 3A. Thanks to him, all of a sudden, I'm no longer Miss E. Please welcome Miss Bear. Nggrrrrr...

Then I think again. I must have done something really terrifying that encouraged him to call me names. I know him as an obedient and diligent person, I can't imagine him calling me mean names without having a good reason for it. I must find out what have I done to earn that name.

So, during one of my sessions in his class today, I asked the children to put up both of their hands if they think I am as fierce as a bear.

Don't guess it. Everybody put up both of their hands. Surprised?

I am.

I know I am not a fierce person. Nothing like it. I am not trying to say that I think I am perfect, no. I am not, sir. I am not perfect. In fact, nobody is. But I can really tell you that I am a reasonable person. You will find it easy to talk to me. My sense of humor is healthy and I promise you I have never tasted a human flesh. Check my mouth, I don't hide any fangs. Seriously.

I asked them again, those who has been referring me as Miss Bear, put up both of their hands. All of them put up both of their hands, again!!

Then I asked them, whoever started this, put up both of his or her hands. Nobody did. But 26 over 27 students pointed their hand to one boy who was looking anxious in his seat. That's how I found out for sure that he started it.

When I asked him what gave him the idea to call me Miss Bear, he answered me in a trembling voice that I gave him that impression when I first entered their class. It was just his good luck that the bell rang and I had to dismiss the class. Otherwise, I would make him wet his pants with more of my 'fierce' questions.

I don't get it, you know. I never done anything scary in the class. Never even carried out any experiment on animals or anythings. What's so scary about me?

I thought we always had fun and we laughed a lot during the lessons. Why would my students be scared of me and calling me names? I mean, fair enough I am only new here, they don't know me well yet, but giving me such mean name? Why? What did I do?

I'll think more about it tonight. Maybe I have said or done something mean to them outside my conscious. Maybe it's my attitude, I don't know. Meanwhile, here what I want my students to know:

It's just me. Please don't freak out!

Photos Credit: Eiko Ishizawa at http://www.likecool.com/The_Sleeping_Bear--Outdoor--Home.html

Note: The photos are not mine and the girl in the photo is not me either.

'Mind Your Own Beewax'

2009-10-15T10:00:00.000+08:00

This came from the days when smallpox was a regular disfigurement. Fine ladies would fill in the pocks with beeswax. However when the weather was very warm the wax might melt. But it was not the thing to do for one lady to tell another that her makeup needed attention. Hence the sharp rebuke to "mind your own beewax"

Interesting, isn't it?

Thanks to Ye Olde Sayings

I will be alright

2009-10-13T19:23:00.002+08:00

Maybe not tomorrow or the day after tomorrow but I promise, I will be alright. This is not the first time we (Monkey and I) live apart from each other, we've done it before.

Now, don't get me wrong. We are not in a 'bad term' or anything. We are fine, very fine. Once I get my PR visa, we shall be reunited again.

But I must confess, I do miss him a little. OK, a lot. Forgive me for shouting it out loud to the whole world, I can't help it. Living with my little brother doesn't help me much. He's a young man with no interest but football and full stomach. No girlfriends, no job, nothing. Just football and full stomach.

At times when I could not handle my old friend named Troubles, I missed him the most. I'm used to have him protecting me from anything bigger than me. Now that he's not there to stand by me when I need him, I feel a little scared and insecure. Wow. Saying that makes me feel like a real drama queen.

Drama queen. Ya, maybe that's what I am right now, which is not very nice. So I stop right now and try to vent my feeling on something else. Maybe I should start farming on Farm Town again. Hmm, I'm wondering if people still fond of Farm Town these days. Must go now and find out.

Oh, and yaaiii for having Internet access from home!

Now I should be able to talk more craps in here again, if my other old friend named Lazy doesn't keep visiting me.

Ta ta.

So,

2009-09-14T14:55:00.006+08:00

I've been quiet again for a while, which is not unusual by me. He he. Truth is, I haven't got the time to go to TMpoint in Keningau to transfer my Internet account from JB to Tambunan. I've been busy beautifying our new flat in Penampang. Now I know it's not easy to buy and run a house. Everything is expensive! For a cheap person like me (except when it comes to food), I am not so willing to pay a square feet tiles for RM2. But what can I say? Floor need to be tiled, curtains must be put on, furniture must be bought.. and what not. I like it or not, I had to pay for it. There, gone bye bye all my money.

When it completed, I thought I could rest for a while. But not yet, my animals have arrived in Kota Kinabalu and are kept in Kinarut Quarantine stations. A dog and 3 cats. Thing is, they are now testing me on how much I love them and how much time and money I'm willing to spend on them. Lucky B*tards! Apparently, they have decided not to feed on the food provided by the station. Instead, they waited for me to bring them food and love. So, here I am, driving 150 KM to love and care for my animals, everyday. Please don't ask me how well I know the Tambunan -Kinarut route now, coz you'll get a free smack from me! Ha!

Oh, but talking about Internet connection, I do have internet connection at work. I could get access to it if only my hard disk did not launch a riot for many weeks in a row. Only yesterday I thought, damn it, I'll just use my credit card (again!) to pay for a new hard disk. I could not stand anymore having no Internet. By hook or by crook, I MUST get my laptop fixed. This is why, today I am able to update my blog, thanks to my credit card. (My husband will be very upset if he reads this). Note: Monkey, u r not allowed to read this.

Hopefully, my purse won't be too empty next week, so I can get Internet connection to my house in here. Please, please, my dear RM, please don't leave me again. I need you next week.

And I will be having 13 days of holiday due to the Hari Raya Aidilfitri celebration next week. Guess who is the happiest person in Tambunan next week?

Me. Ha ha.

Yeaahhhhooooooooo!!!!! Holiday!!!!!

Ta ta.

Transporting pets from Peninsular to East Msia (Updated)

2009-08-13T04:58:00.014+08:00

Hello peeps, this time I'd share some information on how I sort out my animals' permit to Sabah. Googling on how to transport animals to Sabah didn't help me at all when I was looking for some info on it. I had to figure it out myself. So here, hopefully this will help others. I did it from Johor but I think these would be the same procedures even if you are from other states in Peninsular.

1. First of all, you need to put a microchip in each of your animals. You can't get away from it, this is required by any vet departments in the place where you are taking your animals (by air). Here in Johor, you can get it done in any vet clinics. The price is RM85/animal. Make sure you keep the microchip numbers in a safe place because you'll need them for import permit application. You have to make sure your animals are in a pink of health as well. MAS will need your animals' health certs before they take your animals' flight booking. That's easy. Just get your animals checked when you get the microchips done and ask the doctor to issue your animals health cert. However, this could get complicated if you have been neglecting your animals health before. A slight indication that your animals are not healthy (i.e.: mites, ticks, ringworms, worms, ect) will force the doctor not to issue them certs. That could be a trouble.

2. You need an import permit from Jabatan Perkhidmatan Haiwan Sabah. This is very important. Go to www.davetsa.sabah.gov.my, create a profile by signing up and filling in the personal information. After doing that, call the department (088-287400) and ask to be transferred to the person in charge for import permit application. This is to inform them you've registered yourself in the website and need approval to access the whole davetsa system. They will need your user name for approval. Usually approval will only take a couple of hours.
*Note: Keep a copy of your password in case you forget it. They don't keep record of your password. Losing it will give you a lot of troubles. Been there done it.

3. When you get the approval confirmation through email, sign in into the system and start filling in the import permit application form. It might be a little confusing for the first timer so you better call up the department (same number above) and ask for help. The person who helped me out with filling in the form was Azza. Don't worry, they are very friendly and will guide you step by step. I can explain it here but it'll take a long time plus you need to be looking at the system to understand it fully. So, better for you to ring them up and do it together with them. This is the time you need the microchip number. Without it, they won't entertain you. Make sure you key in the correct information of your animals or otherwise, your application will get rejected.

4. Application will get reviewed and approved/rejected in 3 working days. If it get rejected, you need to apply again. You can check your application status online. When your application get approved, you now may present yourself or anybody on your behalf at their counter to make the permit fee payment. It's only RM11/animal. This is the only disadvantage of this system. Everything else is perfect and efficient except the part when you make the payment. They said their programmers are still working on it so we can pay online. So for now, we like it or not, we have to go to:

Jabatan Perkhidmatan Haiwan dan Perusahaan Ternak
Aras 3, Blok B, Wisma Pertanian Sabah
Jalan Tasik, Luyang (Off Jln Maktab Gaya)

If you are still outside Sabah, you can ask your friends or family to do the payment for you. After the payment, they will issue you the import permits. Pretty much you have finished your business with them after you got the permit.

5. Next, you have to take the permits to

4th Floor, Kompleks C25,
Sayap Timur, Nusajaya.

You can call for an appointment first at 07 - 2667501. The person who helped me was Mr. Hood. They are very friendly too, it's very easy to do business with them. Nusajaya is not the housing area in Pasir Gudang, OK? This is one that located near Gelang Patah. You need to fill in the export permit form and pay RM26 for each animals. Approval is after 3 working days so it means you have to make two trips to Nusajaya.

Note: You MUST have import permit from Sabah first before you can apply for export permit from Johor.

6. By this step, you should already have:

- Animals health certs and microchips number
-Import permit
-Export permit

Those are the required papers for when you book your animals' flight. But not yet, there are still a few things to do before you could book it for them. You have to get a good carriers for your animals. MAS is not too fussy if it's only domestic flight. All they need is a strong build carrier and big enough for your animals to stand up, sit down and move around naturally. Note this, carriers can be VERY expensive, depends on the type and manufacturer. As for my animals, I spent about RM650 in carries only. 3 cats and 1 dog. I bought the cheapest carriers, those made from plastic materials. You would want to find the lightest carriers because MAS is charging RM15/kg for the animals, including their carriers. But make sure it is a strong build ones. We don't want to risk our animals to get lost or worst, hurt, by buying the wrong carrier.

When you are ready with the carrier, you need to weight your animals with their carriers and take a record of it. You will need to know what is the exact size of the carriers as well. These are the information you need to provide to MAS besides all those papers when you book your animals' flight. Your animals can have the same flight with you. Just make sure you book it earlier.

7. A few hours before you travel with your animal, you could give them those 'travelling pills' so they could sleep throughout the journey. You can get this pills from your vet. Animals could get stressed from travelling, specially if this is their first time. You need to talk to your vet about this, I'm not qualified to advise more on this. If everything is OK, you should have no problem arriving together with your animals at your destination.

Good Luck!

P/S: Oh, BTW, only MAS is handling animals transportation. Air Asia has not started it yet.

Update:

My animals have arrived safely. However, I faced a few problems at Kastam Diraja Malaysia. I didn't know they must be involved in this process. When you are booking flight for your animals, it will only be approved if Kastam Diraja Msia in the place you are sending them permits. I'm not too sure how much is the fee because my husband did it for me. Therefore, you have to apply to them. However, it is only a small problem. Your cargo agent (there are many agents at MAS Kargo beside MAS itself, you can choose one that you prefer) can do all the documentations for you. It takes three working days for this application to be approved.

When the Kastam in your animals' destination confirmed that they have no problem receiving it, then you should expect a call from MAS Kargo in the animals' destination to inform you the details. Keep all the details because you will need it when you pick up your animals.

In my case, they gave me the a reference number. I went to their office in KK (Terminal 1) to get a copy of the sending document. That's when the reference number is important. They won't entertain you if you just give your name. After I got the copy, I went to the Kastam office (same place, 2nd floor) and get release approval and overtime application (not sure what is that for, I just did what they wanted me to do). Before they could approve it, they needed me to get an a release approval from the Veterinary Department in the airport. The person in charge of this department is En. Abdul Rahman. It is best to contact him first and let him know you have a business with them. On the day my animals arrived, he was on leave. It was a little bit of a hassle but not too much, because I discovered that I can actually get a registered agent in MAS Kargo to handle everything for me. My agent was really good, he was very organized and helpful. I had to come MAS Kargo when the animals arrived, though. I needed to pay for the terminal charges (RM15) and also Veterinary charges (RM10/animal). This can only be done when the animals arrived. Upon the animals' arrival, a driver from Kinarut Quarantine Station will come with his truck to take them. You may follow them to the station and make sure they get into their quarantine 'cage' OK. But it's only optional.

There was a documentation needed to be done at Kastam after the arrival but my agent did it for me. When all completed, he asked me to pay him whatever I am willing to give him. Well, that was not very convenient to me. But I think I did pay him a generous amount.

You may visit your animals at the quarantine station twice a day on working days. 10a.m-12 a.m and 2 p.m. - 4 p.m. You may also bring their favourite food. The staffs there are very friendly and helpful. May god bless them for looking after my animals.

The quarantine will be one month from their arrival. However, if you would like to get them home quickly, you may apply for home quarantine at the head quarters. You may ask the person in charge in the quarantine station to assist you. I just put in my application, I haven't heard any reply yet. Will update again soon when I know.

Oh, you might want to know that they charge a small daily fee for keeping your animals. RM15/day for a dog and RM4/day for a cat. You may pay it upon your animals' release. If you need the agent and person in charge of airport vet department number, please email me. I don't think they are happy if I put their personal number here. That's all for now.

Sungguh seronok bermain Farm Town

2009-07-26T07:33:00.011+08:00

Hmm. My loyal laptop is now officially old and sick. Maybe it's time to get a new slave. Tapi dengan duit apa ek? Siapa pandai jampi daun jambu tukar jadi duit? Anyone?

And gosh, I'm still wide awake at 07.36 a.m, thanks to the addictive Farm Town on Facebook. I left my farm unattended for almost a month so I thought, well, I could use some of my unpaid leave time to catch up with the level. Monkey is way ahead now and I'm way behind him. Ini tak boleh jadi, dia harus lah ditewaskan! Good things now we can earn extra XP by plowing people's farm. Work punya work, tak sangka I got addicted to it. Not to the harvesting or plowing, no, but the self selling skills at the market. It's a new thing to me, I really enjoy doing it.

Usually I go to US market but if I really wanna have fun, I go to UK market. Seriously, people in there really know how to bitch! I loike! LOL! Malaysia and Indonesia markets are awkwardly empty every time I go there, I don't know where all my Malaysian folks go.

Anyway, the teknik menjual diri is what keeping me going to the market. Sometimes I go there purely because I need to get a job, but most of the time, I just want to try what kind of lines get me hired immediatelly. My latest line is:

" Hi ___ (whoever offering the job), I'm available. Thanks".

It works very well, I got hired immediatelly every time I say that. Mind you, it doesn't work in French and Italiano markets. I have tried it and only got cursed in the language I don't understand. Someone translated it for me. LOL.

Those who play in the Farm Town, I'm sure they are familiar with these beggars' lines.

"Hire me...hire me..please.."

"I work with my clothes off..please hire me. Please please please"

"Anybody want a plowjob? I give a good one!"

"Pllleeaaassseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..!!!! Hire Meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"

"Hire me
hire me
hire me
hire me
hire me
hire me
hire me
hire me
hire me
hire me
meeeeeeeee"

"Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me"

"Pick me pick me pick me pick me pick me pick me"

"I love plowing. I only do plowing. Plow, plow, plow!"

When I can't stand it anymore, I start to bitch.

"Ugly Beggars! Yuck!!"

"Hey, stop begging! You're annoying!"

"Hey Hodge, I'll kick your ass for hedging the text bar!"

"Ok, you can plow here right now!"

"Hey, shut up, will ya?"

"Get out, you beggars!"

And erm, I say a few nasty things too but let's not hear it in here. Some beggars stop doing what they are doing, some just leave but most of them usually say nasty things back at me. My favourite part is when the people who are against begging back me up and there, we have a market war! When it happens, I just sit back and enjoy reading the text box. This is the ugliest hobby I ever have so far (after that removing tick manually on my dog). Sorry, I know it's disgusting. But I'm not a psycho, you know that, so please don't jugde me?

I know I sound stupid and bitchy..but I can't help it. I mean, really, do they have to sell themselves by begging non stop? I have to stand there too, waiting for jobs...but do I have to watch people begging? I don't think so. At first I thought, well, now I have reasons to use the ignore button. But then I got tired, annoyed and cannot stand watching them begging to no end . Being an old bitch, I thought, ok, maybe I could use some of my good old bitching skills. Why not when I have the chance, right?

Some days, I'll just send all of the hard core beggars to my farm. Knowing that there's no work to be done there, I can only imagine how angry they are at me. Lol! I know I sound so mean again...but oh well, I have no better hobbies to do. At the moment, I'll just be a prick and prey on the pathetic beggars on Farm Town!

*Old mean laugh*

I'm rich.....

2009-07-20T20:15:00.005+08:00

with smiles!

Yup! That's all I have at the moment. No jokes, I'm very lah broke. Tu ler..siapa suruh gatal ambil unpaid leave. Wang poket ihsan laki I pun dah habis sekelip mata. I kan suka buat donation. Tanya ler kedai kedai berhampiran rumah I.

But no worries, I, the very unwise woman, have broken my husband's piggy bank! I telah merompak perut piggy gemuk yang laki I letak molek molek sebelah TV. Ha ha ha!

Lihatlah hasil rompakan I. Betapa selama ini I telah silap memilih kerjaya. Baru lah sekarang I tahu how easy it is to get easy money. Just rob the bank!

Aku kayapppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!!!! har har har!!

Alright. I'll get serious now. Actually the idea of 'robbing' the piggy is not entirely because I'm broke. Well, the broke part is still true but the main reason is because I have to pack all our stuffs into a contena and send them all back to Sabah. Now, not that I don't trust the contractors' staff but I was just concern about the fact that human being will always get lured by the smell and kacheng kacheng sound of money. Believe it or not, I myself was planning a lot of things to do with the money from the piggy sepanjang masa I menghitung laba rompakan I. Lagipun piggy itu tersangatlah berat dan mungkin akan menyebabkan belakang staff contractor yang mengangkat kotak akan bengkok. Nah, itu imaginasi liar I saja kerana sudah pasti mereka ada troli or something kan. Tapi yang penting, duit syiling my husband akan berada di tempat yang selamat. Dimanakah lagi tempat yang lebih selamat selain dari poket I, kan, kan kan?

After a good 1.5 hours counting them and pisahkan ikut nilai badan coins itu, I pun masukkan dalam beg tangan baru yang murah dan tiada jenama (I beli dari sale Jusco tau), I segera pandu laju laju ke Public Bank. Rugi I sia-siakan bakat I memandu laju kerana setibanya di bank, rupanya I kena ambil nombor dan beratur panjang. Sempat interview 40 orang over the phone lagi (I iklankan anak kucing yang I kutip tepi jalan for adoption kat www.mudah.com.my, tapi itu cerita lain kali lah ya). Tungu punya tunggu punya tunggu, sampailah giliran I. I bagi lah buku bank dan semua duit tadi.

Dah cantik I tulis amount tiap plastik duit syiling itu, rupanya kerani public bank tidak mempercayai I. Dia kira lah semula duit itu dengan bapak lamanya. I bukan nak protes ke hapa, cuma kalau boleh, buatlah kerja cepat cepat kan. I ain't got all days, you know. I juga perlu memuatkan perut dengan dengan nasik dan berjoli di shopping mall. Ini tidak, dia boleh bergurau senda lagi dengan kawan kat sebelah mesin kira duit sambil mengambil her long sweet time. Dalam hati berkata, awas kau monyet, nanti ku tulis komplen kat customer suggestion box. Kalau melawan, boleh cek cctv. ( Mak ai, camera public bank banyak nooo. Sampai I tak tau nak pilih mana satu I nak bagi special posing).

Lepas kira, dia bagi I slip jumlah duit. Sama dengan jumlah yang I tulis. Kan, I told you so. Dia pun ketak sana ketak sini, ngitt..ngitt..ngitt..bunyi printer, dia pun pulangkan buku bank I. I pun dengan gembira mencapai slip borang pengeluaran. Isi punya isi, bubuh tanda tangan, bagi kat dia. Wah. Sudah terbayang baju colour merah ada tulis 'let's get physical' dari kedai TopMan masuk ke dalam almari baju I. Bila kerani tu tengok slip I, dia kata, sorry Miss, you need to get your partner's signature.

Eh, apa pasal? Meh sini ni aku cek.

Alamak. *Tepuk dahi*

Rupanya yang ini buku join akaun dengan laki I lah. Hancurlah harapan I menjolikan hasil rompakan I. Agaknya big man di atas sana sudah menghidu niat jahat I dan berpihak pada my other half.

TSK!!

So, I'm still broke. Someone give me money pleaseeeee!! I want that red colour shirt...!!

Mega Sale

2009-07-15T00:37:00.006+08:00

I love it, I love it, I love it!

OK, OK, I know! I'm a cheapskate, I admit it. I only buy things on discount. I'm so cheapskate that I don't buy anything on their original price (except for my Guess purse, which now I keep safely in my drawer because it's too expensive for everyday occasion). Gah!

But come on, admit it, who doesn't like mega sale?

To me, it's the only time I can go to shopping malls with less than 150 bucks and come out with a pair of good shoes, 8 designer blouses and yet, still have enough to buy drinks from Starbucks.

Mega sale is always great, albeit lah ia berlaku di masa-masa aku tengah bercuti tanpa gaji...

Leaving Job

2009-06-03T17:46:00.003+08:00

I put in my application for two months unpaid leave today. If it is approved, it will take effect starting on the 15Th this month.

As I filled the form, my heart ached severely. When I handed it to the clerk in charge, I had a little tear in my eyes, which of course hidden bravely by me.

When I walked out from the office, my lips felt numb, my mouth was dry. My feelings were mixed, I don't know how to explain it.

I am nervous about what the future holds for me. In the same time, I'm feeling glad I finally have the gut to free myself from the never ending stress.

I don't have a clue on what I will be going to do during these coming two months. Maybe this could be a bad idea, but I will never know if I don't try it.

Two months of unpaid leave. Maybe this is the beginning of me getting out of the field I am currently engaged, maybe not. I don't know...

Love your husband? Shave him bald! (Part II)

2009-05-20T23:52:00.014+08:00

So, I was saying I now understood what he means by 'one day you'll understand.'

Last Sunday, I trimmed his hair with a shaver. It's always number 4, he's comfortable with that length. When I finished, I took the comb off to shave the back of his neck. Everything was good until I saw a small, tiny uneven part on the top of his head. I thought, well, easy fix. I rammed the shaver on the part without remembering it wasn't with the comb!!

So, there. A bald patch of a size of RM10 notes on his head.

I shivered. My mouth gone dry. I was stunned for a minute.

Then I expected him to get mad. I waited for him to shout or throw things at me. But you know what, he didn't! He looked at the patch on the mirror, rubbed it a few times and smiled at me. In half-laughing tone he said, oh well, you have to put up with a patched-head husband for a week or so.

I can't find the words to explain what exactly I felt that day. I can only say it was horrible, I truthfully feel horribly bad for him. How he's going to face the world with a patch on his head? I started to cry like a baby. Monkey, on the other hand, was really cool about it. He kept on saying all the nice things to shut me up but I was just..couldn't stop.

After an hour, this cry baby was still crying. Really, I thought there was no more happiness for me. I kept saying 'I'm sorry' and 'I'll only feel good again if I can fix it'. I guess Monkey must have got really concerned that he connected the shaver to the outlet and asked me to shave him bald!!!

He said it's the only way to fix the patch. He was so convincing that I actually took the shaver and shaved him bald.

Mind you, my husband is blessed with an egg shaped head. Can you imagine him bald?

I know, deep, deep, deep inside his heart...he felt angry and embarrassed for having to go to work in that 'hair style'. If I was him, I'll take a month unpaid holiday, or until my hair grows back.

But despite of all those, he put a smile on his face and accepted it as an honest mistake on my part. He understood I didn't mean to do that to him. Later in the afternoon, he even gave me his key card and let me withdraw any amount of money I like, with hope it'll help to cheer me up.

That day, he didn't say the magic phrase 'I love you' ...or anything like that. But I know he does love me. He really does, unconditionally.

Love your husband? Shave him bald!

2009-05-16T20:28:00.008+08:00

Ada banyak sebab kenapa saya sayang laki saya.

Salah satu sebabnya ialah kerana dia seorang yang simple. Dia tidak pernah demand to be treated like a king. Bila dia nampak saya penat balik dari kerja, dia ambil alih tugas sediakan dinner tanpa saya minta. Begitu juga bila saya berpeluang sleep in pada hari Ahad (saya ada temporary second job to cover hutang keliling pinggang and therefore kena bekerja 7 hari seminggu), dia akan load the washing machine, sweep and mop the floor, clean my car and cook me lunch. Rasa best sangat dapat jadi his other half. Ceh..macam lah saya seorang saja yang ada laki kan? Ha ha. Sorry in advance ya, jika entry ini meloyakan tekak anda. You may leave now kalau rasa entry ini tidak sesuai untuk anda. (Dah bagi amaran awal-awal, OK?)

Hari ini saya nak tulis entry tentang laki saya. Bukan nak menunjuk-nunjuk saya ada laki, jauh sekali untuk bermegah-megah. Saya tulis entry ini untuk berkongsi feeling teruja saya dengan definisi baru saya berkenaan perasaan cinta. Jiwangnya saya hari ni.

OK. Walaupun saya dah nyatakan saya rasa best berlakikan dia, ada juga perasaan lain yang hadir bersama rasa best tadi. Saya, Monkey dan anda cuma manusia biasa, tentu kita tidak sempurna. Laki saya bukan the most perfect man di dunia, dia juga sama seperti saya, imperfect. Bukan sahaja dia gagal menjadi seperti Mat Romeo dan bunga mawarnya, dia juga seorang yang straight forward, keras hati dan urmm, bermulut puaka.

Dia tidak suka mengungkapkan 'saya cinta kamu' atau 'saya rindu kamu'. Bila berjauhan, dia tidak pernah mengaku rindukan saya. Paling hampir pun dia cuma akan kata, it's difficult around the house when you are away. Ataupun, it's weird waking up at night noticing you are not here. Dia juga rimas jalan berpimpin tangan. Bila saya minta, telapak tangan dia akan berpeluh-peluh, begitu juga dengan muka dia. Body language dia menjerit, "It's not comfortable!!" Setiap kali keluar berbelanja, dia dan trolinya selalu meninggalkan saya jauh di belakang. Bila saya merungut, dia kata, tu lah awak, kaki pendek. Gemuk. Slow. Saya tak dapat tunggu lah! Ada lagi yang paling best. Bila saya tanya pendapat dia tentang pakaian atau mekap saya, dia akan bagi jawapan yang jujur. Saya suka sikap jujur dia, tapi ada masa saya perlukan white lies to make things easy for me. For example;

(As we were rushing to his company dinner, coz I got home at 7.00 p.m. every day):

"How's my make up, darling? Does it match my dress?" -- Me

"What have you done to your face? That make up is too heavy for that dress lah." -- Him.

And there, saya terus konpius dan sakit hati. Dah lah masih rasa penat dari kerja, kelam-kabut nak bersiap, nak rempuh jam kat Jalan Skudai lagi...now dia dah cakap macam tu, nak melangkah keluar pun jadi teragak-agak. Dalam hati menyumpah-nyumpah, tapi godek juga satu almari baju untuk cari yang sesuai dengan mekap. Setengah jam kemudian, masih tidak ketemu dengan baju yang sesuai, lalu saya mengesat muka dan menyapu mekap yang baru. *Sigh* Why can't he just say 'yes, you look dashing', so we can start moving to the party? Menyesal tanya. At the end, kami manusia yang paling lewat tiba...dan menjadi bahan kutukan kawan-kawan.

Demikian juga bila saya tanya, "Am I that fat?"

Dia jawab, "Yes, you are. A few more pounds and we'll be on our way to Levi's store, again!" (Which is almost true)

Dan itu menyebabkan saya murung dan hanya makan apple dan cabbage berhari-hari.

Kerana hal-hal begini berlaku dengan frequent-nya dalam kehidupan sehari-hari kami, tak tau di mana mulanya, saya terasa seolah-olah he loves me less. Ada masa tertentu saya rasa he doesn't love me and care for my feelings anymore.

Untuk monyet yang fragile dan complicated seperti saya ini, mudah saja saya salah ertikan mesej dari jawapan dan reaksi yang dia sering berikan.

Bila berjauhan, tak rindukan saya?

Jawab 'See ya' bila saya kata 'Love ya' di akhir perbualan telefon?

Singgah di McD on the way home from work, beli burger untuk diri sendiri dan makan sorang-sorang depan saya?

Plan seminggu awal untuk ke party dengan kawan-kawan lelaki dan perempuan dan saya orang terakhir yang tahu, itu pun dengan nada ajak-ajak ayam beberapa minit sebelum dia bertolak?

Cakap saya gendut dan spoiled?

Benda-benda segini menyebabkan saya terlupa betapa sweetnya bila dia tolong masak, kemaskan rumah dan gosok baju-baju ofis saya. Mula lah suara-suara paranoid menziarahi saya. Adakah dia mula begini...adakah dia mula begitu..adakah..adakah..adakah..to no end. Malu, kan? I'm not proud of it.

Bila suara-suara paranoid itu semakin kuat di minda saya, maka saya akan asak laki saya bertubi-tubi dengan soalan ala-ala cari pasal. Selalunya sesi itu berakhir dengan pertengkaran. Di akhir pertengkaran, dia ambil kunci kereta, kunci rumah dan keluar. Saya pula dengan muka panjang masuk dalam bilik, kunci tombol pintu, tolak meja solek, kerusi dan bakul baju kotor ke pintu...dengan harapan kalau dia patah balik, dia kena melalui semua halangan itu untuk masuk tidur, sementara saya buat-buat tidur lena. Tapi tak pernah pun dia rempuh halangan tadi. Saya sendiri yang susah di pagi hari kerana kena alihkan semua barang-barang tadi, otherwise, tak dapat keluar dari bedroom. Dia tidur dengan lenanya di ruang tamu.

Saya mogok tak mau makan dan cakap sehingga dia pujuk. Saya sedar, saya mengada-ngada. Tapi itu lah diri saya.

Bila dia dah bosan, pandai lah dia datang pujuk. Tiap kali pujuk, dia mesti cakap, 'I do love you, care for you, but just not in the way you want or can see or understand it.'

Dan tiap kali itulah I retort; then how can I tell it when I can't see it, feel it, or understand it?

Betul tak?

Dia tidak pernah balas balik soalan saya itu. Dia cuma cakap, one day you'll see and understand what I mean.

Sedar tak sedar, dah 5 tahun kami berkahwin. 5 tahun jugalah saya ternanti-nanti bilakah sampai masanya saya akan faham apakah yang dia maksudkan dengan 'one day you'll see and understand what I mean'.

Hari ini penantian itu sudah berakhir. Akhirnya saya faham apa yang dia maksudkan.

...to be continued. I can't hold my eye lids anymore. Ngantuk gile.

Update

2009-05-07T02:33:00.004+08:00

I was not well for a week. Therefore, I have no mood to talk, think or write. This is why my blog was abandon for quite some times. Plus, actually I didn't have any nice things to say the last couple of weeks.

Last week, Monkey's friend, V, from Oz rang us. Ooo..I like her! Even though we haven't physically met, but I like her already. She's a warm lady, very optimistic and realistic. She offered to be my first friend when I get to Australia soon. Aww..isn't is so nice of her? I am really glad talking to her the other day. She made me realised the fact that these days, people don't necessarily live in one place only. We can go to wherever part of the world and not worry about what's waiting for us out there. As she said, the only worst thing that can happen is we don't like that place and we move to another place. That's all. Well, she's kind of right, don't we think?

So, there. I'm not that sceptical anymore about going to live far away from my hometown. It could be fun and adventurous. And if I don't like it there, I can always go back to where I come from!

Oh, our second niece has arrived last week! Her parents named her Ashley. I always like that name. Can't wait to meet her. I bet she's as beautiful as her sister, Jordyn. Hopefully I'll meet everybody this coming Xmas. To Ashley, welcome aboard to the family. Don't grow up so quickly though, I'd like to meet you while you are still a baby. :-)

What else..what else...hmmm...ah, Jazzy has been charged mercilessly by ticks. Poor girl. I tried everything to help her, except taking her to the vet. Not that I am stingy or anything, I could not find time to do it. The clinic only open around 10.30 a.m. and I need to leave to work at 11.30 a.m. One hour is not enough time. I finish working at 18:30 and by that time, the clinic is already closed. I can't call in sick to take my dog to clinic, I will get bashed for it. Monkey won't do it, he's not the type of taking-animals-to-vet person. He's the type of I-give-you-money-go-sort-it-out kind of person. What I did to help Jazzy was washing her and then 'removed the ticks manually'. I know. I know. It's yukky, right? But it helped. I did that 4 days in a row and Jazzy is now almost tick-free.

I have a confession to make; I actually getting use to like removing ticks from my dog! Maybe next time when I get asked what's my hobby, I'll say 'removing ticks from my dog'.

Ahaha..haha..hahahahahahahahaha...!

Mari Mengumpat

2009-04-18T01:40:00.011+08:00

Bukan kenapa-kenapa sebenarnya saya tak nak tampal gambar gemuk saya di blog ini. Di dalam blog terdahulu, saya telah 'kebaruan' dan menggunakan nama sebenar semua watak-watak dalam blog. Bukan takat nama, gambar pun penuh saya upload kan. Masa itu saya belum tahu dan tidak pernah 'digigit' oleh stray dogs di alam cyber. Saya masih ingat lagi, gambar kahwin, gambar birthday, gambar suka duka saya bersama suami monyet saya...sehinggakan gambar tasuh saya pun saya jeremuskan ke dalam blog terdahulu. Tidak saya sangka rupanya benda-benda itu boleh diguna pakai untuk menyakitkan saya suatu hari nanti.

Perempuan celaka itu boleh saja saya celakakan blognya, atau lebih sadis, saya buat apa yang dia pernah lakukan pada saya. Beruntunglah dia kerana telah memilih akua blogger seperti saya sebagai preynya. Kalau perempuan itu buat sedemikan kepada saya pada 5 tahun yang lepas, mampuslah dia, sampai dia ke lubang cacing pun saya kejar untuk menyembur toxic satu badan. Ha ha! Kejam tak? Mujur saja sekarang saya sudah beransur tua dan cepat lelah. Biarlah ilmu game kejar-kejar dan tapuk-tapuk sesama bitches saya simpan dalam peti untuk diwariskan kepada keturunan saya nanti.

Sebab itulah di blog baru saya, saya tidak menampal terlalu banyak gambar peribadi atau mengulangi mana-mana kesilapan di blog lama. Once bitten, twice shy. Biarlah cuma kawan-kawan rapat sahaja yang tahu apa rupa saya dan di mana rumah kediaman saya. Mungkin kalau setakat gambar-gambar tungau dan tasuh saya, kalau monkey saya ada duit lebih untuk gantikan kamera saya yang dia hilangkan, saya akan postkan.

Saya tulis post ini sekadar untuk peringatan diri saya sendiri dan kalau lah perempuan itu (akhirnya) terjumpa blog ini, untuk peringatan kepada dia juga. Baru-baru ini geng bitch dia (tapi tahap bitchnya sekadar suam-suam kuku dan saya masih boleh layan) telah terlepas cakap dan menyebabkan saya mendapat tahu, perempuan celaka itu tengah giat mencari-cari saya. Tiba-tiba hati saya terasa sedikit sakit. Amboi, rindu ke? Ke, dah nak mati lalu berinisiatif meminta maaf atas kebiadapan tahap tenuk, mencerobohi kemudian menelanjangi pilihan kehidupan peribadi saya? Ishk! (Tampar pipi sendiri) Jahatnya fikiran ko. Sejak bila mengamalkan sikap buruk sangka ni?

Hati saya sebenarnya masih bengkak(...ceehh..pemarah, gitu..) atas perbuatannya. Jadi, biarlah sekali ini saja saya izinkan diri saya mengumpat dia. Apa pun niat dia untuk mencari saya, saya tidak suka. Tapi tak mengapalah. Teruskan lah usaha mencari sampai dapat. Kalau terjumpa, ini, ada mesej untuk kamu:

Berambus. Engkau tak diterima di sini!

Hah. Lega hati saya.

Ye lah. Ini blog beta yang punya. Beta nak tulis apa, beta punya suka. Nah, kau. Ada tak orang yang telah termeluat dengan statement bongkak ini? Opps..sorry.

Tapi memang betul pun. Tulisan di sini semuanya kosong belaka, tak ada yang bernas. Kalau bukan melepaskan geram, saya cuma tulis tentang hal-hal remeh dan membosankan yang berlaku sehari-hari di dalam rumah saya. Itu saja. Zaman sekolah dulu, kalau bosan, saya tulis apa apa kat kertas. Lepas tu buang. Kadang-kadang ada juga yang sempat 'kedapatan' oleh kawan-kawan se-dorm, lalu dijadikan bahan kutukan dan gelak ketawa. Tapi tak ada pula diorang sampai buat forum untuk mengutuk 'kata hati' saya tadi. Paling-paling pun cuma kutuk-kutuk sayang je. Itupun sekali dua kali kutuk je, tak da lah hingga berminggu-minggu. Biasalah kawan-kawan, kan. Blog ini tarafnya saya andaikan samalah juga seperti kertas-kertas luahan rasa saya di zaman muda. Bezanya, tulisan ini dibuang ke tempat yang lagi besar dan boleh dicapai oleh ramai orang. Well, kalau nak baca, bacalah. Kalau suka, suka lah. Kalau tak suka, sorry, wa tak dapat tolong. Pi lah main kat blog lain. Betul tak? Tak payahlah buka thread forum untuk mengutuk. Sakit hati, tau.

Berbalik kepada perempuan jahat tadi, kalau boleh saya nak jerit je kat dia, alaaaa...apalah yang ada pada saya ini untuk ko jadikan bahan blog kumpulan anjing betina ko? (Waduh, kasar ke alih bahasa saya ini?) Saya bukannya ada apa-apa pun. Rupa tarak, harta tarak, beg tangan pun semuanya di bawah 15 ringgit. Kalau ada yang original, cumalah beg duit Guess dan beg tangan Elle. Takan itu pun korang nak jadikan modal?

Bukan itu ya? Oooohhh....yang ittew rupanya. Alaa, kalau tentang perjalanan hidup saya dan pandangan saya terhadap pekerjaan saya, tak payahlah korang sibuk-sibuk. Korang sibuk pun, bukan dapat upah. Memenatkan korang dan menyakitkan hati saya je.

Saya mengaku, saya memang tidak suka dan tidak gembira dengan pekerjaan saya. Tapi tidak bermakna saya tidak melaksanakan tugas saya dengan amanah. Marilah, datang sekolah saya. Bawa video cam dan duduk tengok saya kerja. Barulah adil. Hanya kerana kamu memang bercita-cita menjadi guru sejak lahir, tidak bermaksud kamu ada lesen untuk budget bagus, hOKay? Ingat tak masa di kolej dulu? Kamu, terutamanya perempuan itu, telah menyapu bersih gred C untuk subjek-subjek penting seperti Pedagogy dan Methodology. Nah, alang-alang dah termention, bolehkah saya menggunakan point itu untuk menembak balas kamu?

Saya bertemu jodoh dengan mat saleh, itu di luar perancangan saya. Kalau korang tak puas hati, korang pi lah tanya tuhan, kenapa pertemukan jodoh saya dengan suami saya, walhal dulu, saya pernah sign nama dalam pasukan mengutuk kawan-kawan yang menggilai ang moh. Betul tak, Ten? Alamak, sorry Ten, ko tersedak ke?

Ah, cukuplah. Panjang pula entry tentang perempuan ittew. Tadi baru je my bestfriend SMS. Dia kata dia tak nak update blog dia kerana tahun ini tahun yang suram untuk dia. Dia cuma nak tulis cerita gembira. Alaaa..dah lambat ko cakap, dear. Dah penuh blog I dengan cerita duka lara. Tapi tak pe kan, bestie? Ko baca je lah cerita-cerita suram I ini.

Saya tak boleh lah... kalau nak tunggu cerita happy, tahun depan pun belum tentu ada. Eh, saya cakap bohong ni. Dinner dengan jiran saya hari tu boleh kira happy occasion juga. Emm. Itu nanti cerita lain kali lah.

An open letter to home wreckers out there

2009-04-17T01:51:00.005+08:00

Dear home wreckers,

Please add into your vocabulary that a man who is married is not available anymore. Don't you know that chasing a married man is morally low? It's nauseating. There are many fish in the sea, why chase after the unavailable ones?

I warn ya, woman. Stop your sinful efforts or my foot shall be jammed on your ass!

Yours truly,
The Wife

5.06 a.m. Walla!

2009-04-10T05:06:00.006+08:00

Almost couldn't believe my eyes when I check the clock.

Just finished doing 'charity' works for my sister. She begged me to help with her course assignment. I actually hate it when she begs, I don't know how to say NO to a begging sister. This is not the first time she gave me last minute work to do. How in this earth could she expect me to finish an assignment in within few hours? Many times I warned her, she could get into big troubles if she keeps giving me trouble...but *sigh* she never listened. At the end, I'm always the one who is in trouble; staying up until wee hours to save her from troubles. Anyways, it's done now. I'll keep it with me until the very last minute, though. Just to give her the taste of real last minute work. Let her panic and beg me more. Ha ha!

I'm sorry about my previous post on my depression. I think I've exposed myself too much in here. I regret that I doubted my god. It was stupid, I should never said what I have said in my previous post. I'm sorry again for acting childish. Now we all know I am a real cry baby.

I'm back to work today. It's again same old same old but I do not wish to add more stress into my life, so I just do what I have to do. My life has go to on. Munkee said nobody should stop living because they are having a minor depression.

A'yai, Sir! Thank you, Sir!

Life Goes On

2009-04-07T18:20:00.003+08:00

Why, after complaining peevishly about my life, I still don't feel any better. It usually helps a bit when I moan and groan here.

Oh please, don't tell me it's a sign of prolong depression or worst, early sign of Dysthymia. Oh no, I better get out of this state of feeling, or else.

I better get up now, put my Nike shoes on and go for a very long walk. I gotta fight this feeling. I gotta get over it. I know better than lying down on the bed, wishing it'll go away soon.

My life has to go on, with or without god's or anybody's concern. This life is a battle. I've fought it with dignity for 27 years, I can't give up now. I just can't.

Depressed

2009-04-07T15:58:00.009+08:00

Angry. Confused. Sad. Tired.

They got me physically paralysed since last Sunday. Couldn't go to work and face the world outside, couldn't have the courage to clean myself, couldn't eat, couldn't do anything at all. I'm feeling so aggrieved with my life. I mean, not only about what I'm doing for life but everything. Why oh why.

I have started to wonder whether god really exists. All my life I've been trying to persuade myself that god does exist, I tried very hard to believe this man-creator is real. But then, against all my faiths, I never felt or saw or heard anything significant to myself that proves he really exists. Every pray has been turned down, every wish has been granted the other way around, everything I ever wanted to believe never been proven real. What have I done wrong to deserve these?

I've only learnt that god is good through other's experience. They flaunt on how good god is, blessing them with so many things, granted every wish, been there for them all the time...but why only them? Why not me?

Not only I believed hard, prayed hard, I worked super hard too. How frustrating it is to learn that all I got is the opposite of what I believed. Just for an instance, since I was 3 or 4, I've started to pray may god fix our family so that we can live like all normal family. Instead, after 24 years of praying and believing, we're now given a stepmother, 12 stepbrothers and sisters, and apparently a half brother/sister is on the way. For goodness sake, I'm wounded. I'm miserably wounded.

I know I will be bashed by family and friends who think what I'm blabbering sheer nonsense. Ya, go right ahead. Bash me, criticize me, call me names. At the end of the day, it's me who is living my life. I'm the only one who knows how it feels being me. Except if there really is god, then he should know it too. But again, I'm not sure about that anymore.

Or is it simply because I've been following and praying to the wrong god? Maybe I don't have to take it anymore, maybe I'll just stop praying to the one I'm praying to now and start finding ones that care.

Hurty

2009-04-05T04:48:00.020+08:00

Not going to a dodgy karaoke bar like that messy bar near my house again. Although it is just right next door, I will never set my foot there, ever again. A small-descent looking bar from outside but boy, guess who thronged the place?

A bunch of underage kids.

Thick-skinned bitches who shamelessly came round our table uninvited and helped themselves with OUR drinks.

Very limited songs on the karaoke with bad, bad, real bad sound system.

40's women who thought they were teenagers and trying hard to pick boys from the bar.

An owner who was trying very hard to keep her business.

She must be really desperate that she took a very large effort, escorting us to our car's doors when we left. Fine. Thanks a lot for that. But not yet, what's the catch?

Here's the catch. When I turn my back for a second, she tried to kiss my husband!

Dirty slut. Good thing I knew my husband well, otherwise I'll just lost my mind and god knows what will happen next.

Agreeing to go to a karaoke bar near home apparently was really a bad move. Real bad. I swear I'll never, ever go there, or even drive pass that area, ever again. Next time if I feel like singing again, I'll drive 60 KM to Jusco Tebrau City and make use of my RedBox privilege card. After all, that's what I paid it for; to be used.

I'm sorry that I'm this angry again but for feck sake, not only I was horribly, terribly, awfully disturbed having to watch underage kids mingling in the bar like nobody's business, I had to put up with bitches and sluts too. And like it was not worst enough already, when I walked off that place, the owner tried to kiss my husband!

That's really hurt. Hurty, hurty, hurty.

All I wanted was to sing a few songs, that's all. If I knew the price for it was that HIGH, I would just drag my husband to Singapore, pay triple on everything we touch. Now, don't judge me. You know I don't mean it. I say it only to help me feel a little bit better.

Urkel's touches.

2009-04-04T03:22:00.011+08:00

Was watching Family Matters on YouTube just then. Steve Urkel made my eyes teary when he said this to his nervous, almost giving up teacher-- Ms. Steven.

"Look, you teachers are more than things that out of text book, you teachers also teach things about life. I know the pay is lousy, the hours are long, you hardly get the credits you deserve, but you are a teacher, Ms. Steven..."

Those lines may not means anything to others but to me, it's like a big wake up slap on my face.

When I look back in time, I realised I still adore my teachers. I don't remember them for not having big cars or great houses, I remember them for being good people, the people who I owe big time.

I always want to be a good person like my teachers. Now, somehow, I am a teacher myself. Perhaps not as good as them, but hopefully I am close to fulfill the qualities.

With that, do I still have any reason to whine about my noble job?

I don't, do I?

Good.

Thanks Bro

2009-04-02T11:23:00.002+08:00

Texted my bro for money SOS. He transfered me the amount I needed at once, without question asked.

Wow, it feels damn good having a working sibling!

Guilty!

2009-04-02T02:32:00.004+08:00

We received an unpleasant news from a close relative this afternoon. It was so revolting that it drove my dearly hubby berserk. Knowing my husband so well, I tried not to say anything about it while he's still responding to it. Even better if I could keep my mouth sealed and not saying a word to him until he calms down and comes to his senses.

I'm not saying that he's one difficult man, he's just upset. I know I said I tried not to say anything to him but it's very difficult when he kept poking me with things I don't like to hear. I could understand he was actually only trying to let his feelings out, that's all. I don't blame him, he just didn't know how to respond to a situation under pressure.

My role was suppose to calm him down, promise him everything will be alright, but somehow I lost my cool. What else could I do when he tried very hard to take the problem on me? It was not my shit, why took it on me? Being a short-tempered person, it's beyond my control when I snapped back at him.

And now I hear myself saying, shitto, why did I do that? He's upset, why couldn't I just tolerate it? Selfish me!

Because of my porky mouth, my hubby pouted to bed. That's the last thing I wanted him to do. He worked so hard during the day and that man deserves a good night sleep, not a good long pout.

I'm swimming in a pond of guilt now. I wish I said sorry to him straight away when I snapped. I don't want him to think his feeling is not important. I wish right now he could hear me saying Luv, I'm sorry for not being a good listener. I promise I'll try harder next time.

Fancy stapler bullets? Try eating them.

2009-04-01T22:59:00.026+08:00

"Think Fast!!"
Bongkor (real name) threw a row of stapler bullets to his friend, Bud'ingar (real name too). While others were greeting their teacher, these two midgets were sneakily playing 'catching stuffs' at the back. Only this time, one of them thought too fast that he caught it with his mouth. Unfortunately, it went straight to his throat and he stupidly chose to swallow it.

When Bud'ingar realised he just committed a possible chargeable crime, he did what all kids will do, panicking. He was too panic that he could not think of anything else but crying. Mr. Cool (again, real name) noticed one of his kids was crying, so as a concern teacher, he asked why.

Before Bud'ingar got the chance to open his mouth, all his kaypoh classmates already raced to the front, of course, to give their blow-by-blow account on what had happened. Meanwhile, Bongkor gulped almost half of the water in his drinking bottle to wash the clogging thing up his throat.

Mr. Cool was shocked to learn what just happened in the first two minutes of his period. For a second maybe, I think he wouldn't mind changing his name to Mr. Angry. Nonetheless, being Mr. Cool and also a trained teacher, he knew what he had to do. Off he went to the office, dragging the two monkey heads with him.

Long story short, parents were contacted, transportation to hospital was arranged and appropriate reports to a few departments were done. There gone his two periods with that class for that week, wasted just like that.

The next day, Mr. Cool was informed by the only nice guy in the management that the big boss needed to see him ASAP. Mr. Cool was not so cool about it. Well, who would blame him for feeling that way, nobody likes to be called to Mr. Bald's room. He's one very unpredictable guy.

Never mind about the kids' silly doing, there were just being kids. As long as they are not shooting each other with real guns or slashing each other with real samurais, they are free to learn their own mistakes. It's just a part of growing up, don't you agree? I bet every grown up has been there too. Not swallowing stapler bullet maybe, but you know what I mean.

What irks me is the parents attitude. Maybe they'll say hey, you are not a parent, whatdoyaknow? Yes, correct, Mr. All Right. I'm not a parent myself (yet), but it's not that hard to tell how it works. I have parents too, so there, I know how it works. All parents don't like their children to experience any sort of pain, it's understandable.

However, if something bad happen to your kid, why can't you calm down first before you start abusing and blaming anything near you? If your kid get hurt at school, it doesn't necessarily mean that the whole thing is the teacher's fault, you know. We teachers have a lot of important and worthy things to do than hurting your children. Go check it with Mrs.Tigress, she knows what kind of work loads she dumps to us every day. If one day your kid walks home from shop, jumped over the drain in front of your house, lost his balance and fall into the stinky drain, what would you blame? The drain or the earth? I bet you would prefer to blame his PE teacher for not teaching him well about balance! But never your kid. Your kid is always right, right Mr. and Mrs All Right?

Accident happens, it could happen to anyone, including your children. Your children get hurt at home too, have you ever blame yourself for that?

In Mr. Cool's case, he just stepped into the classroom, haven't even put his books down when Bongkor decided to see if stapler bullets were up to his taste buds. Mr. Cool didn't encourage them, they did it willingly by themselves. So, why not try to thank him for his quick act that rescued Bongkor's sorry digestion system instead of slapping him with the hospital bills? Were Mr. Cool an ignorant person like me, Bongkor will never guess what fate will he face.

Parents sometimes could be tougher to deal with than their growing up kids. When accidents happen at school, teachers are to be blamed. No questions asked, it must be the teachers' fault. But when their children do well, they'll take all the credits, saying it's all their hard work, not forgetting the magical wonders of money they invested in tuition centre. Cet pooodah! We bersengkang mata marking and correcting their exercise books, all we get is never ending blames.

Were I mean, I would just tell the crazy parents to home-school their children. They claimed they are this big, that big, this rich, that rich, but why send their children to a public school? Man, I can't wait to go back to my hometown, where parents are not rich and big, just like me. It's never a secret that I am a country girl and I guess I only suit with country people's attitude. I'm now officially too tired with these arrogant town people.

Oh well, at least I'm not working in a field full of corrupt dogs. I should shut my mouth now and be thankful of having the noblest job in the world. Can't imagine what would come to me if I have to witness the disgusting act of handing money under table everyday, like some people.

Still, unreasonable parents are annoying me. Too vicious, I would say.

I'm nervous!

2009-03-28T11:01:00.008+08:00

After posting Boros Tomod, I started to think about singing again. Ya well, I know, I know, who would ever want to hear a frog singing. But singing is my cardio. I 'invested' a lot at the Karaoke Box at Hans' Market and Danga Bay. If I have extra money, I go to RedBox. Selesa sikit. I'm so regular at the Hans' market that I've made friends with the staffs. I'm not malu to report I went there alone all the time. I know some people think it's bikin kesian to go singing alone, but I do not give a damn. If I like eating chocolate, I will go to the shop and get chocolates. If I like swimming, I will get my gears and go the swimming pool. Same as when I like singing, I'll go singing. With or without company. Hah, bongkak tak statement ni? Ha ha.

Singing publicly is not for me, I guess. I can't take the attention from the audience. I would tremble like a parkinson patient and therefore, my voice will be stucked up on my throat. Even if I managed to throw it out, you don't want to bear the sound of it. I promise it would sound awfully horrible.

It however, doesn't stop me from enjoying singing. I sing all the time. In the small bank (jamban..kah kah kah), while I'm cooking, driving my bog foot (betul!), when I'm feeling sad, when I'm happy...pendek kata, menyanyi memang perkara automatik yang saya buat setiap hari. Cheehh.. macam taik! Keh keh.

Dipendekkan cerita, saya terfikir, hidup ini singkat. Sudah banyak perkara yang saya tidak suka buat, tapi saya buat juga for surviving. Kalau benda yang saya tidak suka, saya boleh buat dengan baik, kenapa saya tidak mahu melakukan perkara yang saya suka dengan baik? Menyanyi ialah sebahagian dari diri saya. Kenapa tidak saya daftarkan saja diri gemuk saya ini di kelas vokal? Sekurang-kurangnya dapatlah saya belajar teknik menyanyi yang betul. Tidak lah telinga saya sakit mendengar suara saya sendiri di Karaoke Box. Mungkin kalau saya ikut kelas menyanyi, bolehlah saya lagukan lagu-lagu Mariah Carey yang sangat susah iteww. Saya dan pusat karaoke juga yang untung.

Munyit saya kata, why not darling, go ahead. That's what you dearly love to do. Go register yourself to a vocal class. We work something out on the fees. Chewah..sporting tak laki saya ni.

Atas dorongan peluru berpandu Munyit, saya pun mengoogle kelas vokal di Johor Bahru. Sekali percubaan je, dapat satu maklumat. Saya pun salin ke atas kertas. Nak telefon waktu tu juga, mau tak orang tu maki saya, call pukul 2 pagi.

Just now when I cleaned my computer desk, ternampak pula kertas semalam. Baru teringat nak call. Saya pun call lah nombor tu. Encik tu tanya, awak orang Sabah ke? Saya nak kata bukan, saya orang London, tapi slag dah kantoi jadi saya ngaku je lah. Temberang, kan?

Dia kata, oh, patutlah cakap lain sikit. Saya nak jawab, terima kasih, janganlah puji, tapi saya takut dia hang up on me so saya tersengih sendiri je. Then, he asked siapa yang nak masuk kelas ni? Saya jawab, saya lah yang nak masuk kelas. Dia teruskan dengan soalan bertubi-tubi, umur berapa, pandai nyanyi ke, pandai ikut tempo? Pitching tak lari? Amboi, difficultnya. Saya pun beri jawapan yang sewajarnya.

Then dia kata, OK, kita jumpa hari ni. Ah? Hari ini? Saya ada tuisyen lah petang ni. Kalau free pun, pukul 3 je. Dia kata tak pe, beritahu saya awak ada kat mana, saya datang. Erkk, what did I say to make him rushed to meet up? I thought he would ask me to come to his building or something. I said dalam hati, Ok lah, orang dah sudi nak jumpa, why not.

I told him it's easy for me to go to Perling Mall. If that place is convenient for you, let's meet up there. He said it's good for him. So there, I'm meeting a vocal teacher today, 3 p.m. at Perling Mall.

Saya pun browselah balik page semalam. Mana tau ada info sikit tentang guru vokal ni. Tak lah saya malu, kurang-kurang saya tau lah nama dia siapa, bisnes dia ni baru ke dah lama. Mana lah tahu, dia ni guru vokal yang famous, guru akademi fantasia ke... Cheeehh..berangan lagi.

He was indeed a famous composer back in 80's. When I read that the person I'm meeting up is A.Ali, my heart pumped like hell. Aduh, macamana ni, segannya. Macamana ek, takan kansel, dah janji.

Saya rasa sangat nervous. Saya cuma seekor kambing, cuma pandai buat bunyi mengembek. Takkan nak bagi Encik A.Ali dengar. Malunya. Argghhhh.....!

For no obvious reasons, I have butterfly is my stomach! Nervous ni!

One clear soup, please?

2009-03-27T19:58:00.005+08:00

Went to a restaurant for quick lunch today. The waitress ushered me to a table for one and gave me the menu. It took me a few minutes to browse through it before deciding what I wanted to have. I waved to her with a smile, signaling that I was ready to order. She smiled back to me and came towards my table immediatelly.

Me: Erm, saye nak set yang ni (pointing at the picture on the menu).

Waitress: Oh, if you like that one, why not try this one (pointing at other picture on the menu). It's our chef recommendation, it's more delicious and yet the price only differ a few ringgit.

Hmmm..trying your marketing skills on me, ei?

Me: OK, boleh. Jap ye, saye bace dulu set ni datang dengan ape.

Waitress: Sure, take your time, Mem.

Ait, panggil aku Mem, ek?

Me: OK, saye ambik yang ni. Thanks ah.

Waitress: Any side order, Mem? Spring rolls maybe?

Not being able to say no to a friendly-smiling waitress, I said yes. I know if I said no, she will try to sell me other things. She was satisfied with my 'yes-es' and went to the kitchen to put my order. I thought I was impressed with her, it's not usual to have a waitress speaking English in a cheap restaurant like that.

Suddenly I noticed the soup in the set I ordered was mushroom. NO, I hate mushroom soup! I waved at her again, she came to attend me.

Me: I'm really sorry to bother you, but is it too much if I ask you to change the mushroom to clear soup?

Waitress: Erm, I have to check with our chef first. Give me a second.

Then she hurried to the kitchen.

She came back with no smile on her face. My fingers were crossed, please don't say you can't change it. I really don't want mushroom soup.

Waitress: I'm sorry, Mem. The clear is out of stock. We only have mushroom, tomato and tomyam left.

Me: (Puzzled) Excuse me?

Waitress: Oh, I mean the clear is not available today. I guess the raining season affected the stock in the market.

Me: (More puzzled)I'm sorry, I don't get it. You don't have clear soup today because of the raining season?

Waitress: Yes. Can I change your soup to tomato or tomyam?

I thought tomyam without those meat and seafood and stuff can be called clear soup?

Me: Tomyam it is, then. Thanks.

What the hell is the connection between the clear soup and raining season? I am still puzzled. If it was not for the waitress was busy attending the lunch crowd, I would ask her again about it.

Or did she not know what is a clear soup?

Boros tomod..

2009-03-26T02:12:00.012+08:00

Adei.. ini lah ini..

Baru berapa hari balik dari kampung, sia rindu sudah kampung sia. Walaupun cuma ada rumah buruk mo runtuh, kana tukod-tukod lagi tapi sia rindddduuuuu betul suasana di rumah buruk kami. Kasian juga sia tingu tu rumah bapa sia, tapi apa bulih buat lah, belum lagi ada rezeki mo kasi bagus. Nantilah lain kali, kalau sudah tejumpa duit satu karung di tengah jalan, sia tulung juga bikin tu rumah. Bila lah agaknya.

Sia tension bah kerja jauh-jauh di sini nih. Hari-hari mo cakap inglis. Kalau mo cakap Melayu pun kena ejas-ejas slang ikut sini lagi. Kalau enda, harap lah durang paham sa cakap apa. Cakap Dusun lagilah, tiada langsung. Cakap sorang-sorang lah sia. Kadang-kadang kalau tu munyit-munyit di kelas telampau banyak makan gula hari tu (hyperactive), adalah can sa tecakap dusun. Itupun memaki. Ha ha, inda bah.

Nasib juga ada YouTube, bulihlah cari-cari lagu dusun kalangadan ginawo. Sia baru ja tejumpa om tedingar lagu si Fhilix Don. Siuk-siuk oh pula lagu dia. Sini mana lah sa tedingar radio Sabah gia. Memang lah dah bulih dengar online tapi tau ja lah, kalau sudah sa tingu komputer, mana lagi sa ingat mo dingar radio.

Silaka betul bah ini lagu lagu si Fhilix Don tau, macam rokok Salem Mentol. Bikin ketagih. Kalau sa jumpa si Fhilix Don nanti, sia salam dia. Aiseh, macam lah si Fhilix sudi.

Dulu masa sa masih lagi di zaman kanak-kanak riang, sia punya cita-cita mo jadi penyanyi, tau. Kad'tere. Tiap hari sa berangan mo menyanyi sambil menari-nari di pentas dengan penari latar. Adegan yang paling sa suka khayal nopo nga yang sa pakai baju kambang warna pink sama kasut cinderella, kena kasi turun dari bumbung stage kunun. Buduh betul kalau sa ingat balik. Sampai sekolah menengah pun sa masih lagi perasan mo jadi penyanyi. Pasal mimpi mo jadi penyanyilah lah sampai bulih main gitar tara'at, mo cipta lagu kunun. Ada banyak meti kaka lagu tanganak sa tulis masa tu, tapi sekarang buku lagu tu sa enda tau di mana sudah kena umban.

Bila sa sudah besar, badan sa sudah jadi, sa tukar sudah cita-cita sia. Ya lah...suara pun macam bunyi sapi kena kokor, body pun macam gorila, hidung pesek, muka bulat, pindik lagi kaki, siapalah yang mo suka dingar, kan?

Lepas PMR, sa mau betul kunun jadi akauntan. Sanggup sa pindah sekolah semata-mata mau ambil subjek akaun sama belajar komputer. Abis SPM, makin bekobar-kobar semangat sa mo jadi akauntan. Abis kolej, sa tepikir lagi mo jadi penyanyi. Tapi enda lama tu, sa cakap, ah, buduh, buat apa jadi penyanyi kalau sendiri ja dingar.

Sa pun pi lah kerja macam-macam. Customer service officer lah, kerani lah, kedai kupi lah...sampai lah intah macamana jadi cigu. Siuk bah jadi cigu ni. Kita bimbing budak sampai durang tau apa yang betul, apa yang salah. Ajar durang ilmu pengetahuan dan ilmu kehidupan. Memang best. Lagi-lagi kalau dapat budak-budak yang sporting, dingar cakap om tidak ogulot. Kalau kerja sia setakat mengajar ja, bayar minyak kreta sa pi kerja ja pun sa sanggup. Tapi tau tau ja lah, kerja cigu ni macam-macam. Kerani bulih, cleaner bulih, tukang jaga bulih, apa lagi yang cigu inda buat? Belum campur lagi kena serang ibu bapa yang inda puas hati anak dia kena tegur pasal hari hari inda buat kerja sekolah. Baru tegur mah tu, belum lagi kena tompiling. Baru kena marah. Kadang-kadang tepikir juga sa, kalau dulu sa terus jak kerja kedai kupi, area manager sudah kali sia. Kerja pun senang, abis working hour terus pi clubbing. Ha ha ha ha.

Yang paling enda siuk jadi cigu, mana-mana kadai sia pigi, mesti tejumpa 'peminat'. Ha ha ha! Perasan, kan? Kalau tejumpa murid-murid sa pi memeli meli sama keluarga diorang, mesti durang lari datang tempat sa, mo salam lah, mo tingu apa di dalam bakul sia lah, mo kasi kenal sama adik, kakak, abang, mama, bapa diorang lah...ada juga yang mo minta spent. Getuk.

Tapi yang lagi enda best, esok hari mesti durang tambirang sama kawan-kawan di sekolah, tejumpa kunun sia di kadai. Pas tu pandai miagil-agil lagi tu. Enda lah puas ati kalau tidak mo kasi lawan pengalaman tejumpa di kadai.

Miss E, I saw you yesterday at the mall, right? You and your company. Saturang kasi mula.

I saw you the other day too, you and your ang moh boyfriend. Silaka. Itu pun mo kasi tau.

Me too, I saw you with your ang moh boyfriend. He's very tall. I was scared of him! Adeh. Mulut puaka betul ni budak-budak.

Miss E, the other day I saw you too at Jusco. You were wearing short pants. Wow, you have fat legs!

Kimak!

Nasib baik sia enda jadi penyanyi. Baru jadi cigu, belum lagi jadi penyanyi. Intah intah kalau jadi penyanyi, sa tekentut dalam public toilet pun orang tau!

Apapun, sia sayang semua murid-murid sia. Empat taun sudah sia mengajar. Budak sia yang sia ajar dari taun satu, taun ampat sudah sikarang.Yang di sekolah lama sia lah. Tukar sudah bah kunun semua gigi susu diurang. Sia masih lagi keep in touch sama durang. Sikarang punya musim, baru taun satu pun henpon lagi canggih dari henpon napasa si. Yang murid di sekolah sia sekarang, durang bukan saja sudah pandai, 'pandai-pandai' lagi. Kalau hari satu sia buat sesi makan gula-gula tuntung di kelas, hari dua sia mesti dapat balasan gula-gula tuntung dari durang. Macam tu lah, pandai durang bebalas-balas. Masa taun baru cina yang paling siuk, durang bagi sa sampul merah. Kusung mah dii. Ada tulis nama durang lagi. Durang cakap mesti kasi balik sama durang. Tapi mesti ada isi.

Kurang asam punya budak budak. Sia isi 50 sen ja satu sampul, kotoh. Baru taun tiga, pandai sudah kenegi menjengkes...

Forgive me for cussing a lot here.

Mu'ah!

2009-03-24T23:53:00.002+08:00

I love my relationship with my cats and dog. My life would certainly be very dull without their company.

Mu'ah for Crazy Jazzy.
Mu'ah for Mondow.
Mu'ah for Marong.
Mu'ah for Meck.

Love you all.

What's got into me...

2009-03-24T00:26:00.020+08:00

Back from messy holiday ~ tiring but relieving. Now I know what exactly the dilemma of those children who has stepmother. Damn it, I've promised myself not to utter a word about the chaos at my parents' home once I get back to work..but look who is grumbling about it here!

One of my colleagues was sitting on fire during our weekly assembly today. He was in charged of the PA system again, like all other times. Something happened, we didn't know exactly what, but everything was all over the place. There was a point when the pupils thought it was funny and started laughing. The headmaster apparently was fuming after the assembly. He said many strong words to that poor guy in front of everybody. Mean old sod! I knew it was not entirely his fault. You know lah, machines also have 'good-mood-bad-mood' sort of thing. Today was just his luck, they were in a very bad mood. Straight away after the assembly (and of course it was already during the 'scolding session'), everything went places. The system worked excellently. Cet! My heart honestly goes to that poor chap, he doesn't deserve to be scolded in front of us. In my opinion, if Mr. Bald thinks he needs to have a word with him, why not do it in his football-field-sized office. Heh. People, ah?

After the assembly, we went back to the staffroom. I left my hand phone buruk in my pencil case before we went to the hall for assembly. Being me, forgetting the last place I put my mobile phone is not unusual. In fact, it can happen at least twice a day. Brain-scattered, ya, that's me. Never mind the 'missing' mobile phone, I knew I will find it when it rings. I then started to get absorbed in catching up with last week works. You know lah me, a few days before school holiday, only my body was present at school. The rest of me was already somewhere fun.

Like I expected, my hand phone buruk rang. I knew it was an sms because it was 'meowing'. Last week my bro paid me a visit. I thought his 'purring' handphone was cool, so I 'bluetooth-ed' (ha ha) it into my phone. I used it immediately as my incoming sms alert.

My phone meowed a few times but I was too busy marking my students' book, so I didn't attend it straight away. I was sure it was my sister, replying my sms earlier. I said to myself, she can wait. I have more important things to do.

Suddenly, I noticed a lot of people were crowding my place, looking high and low for something. Their face were as if something horrible was missing. Since they all were at my place, I stood up, moved and gave them way without even asking. After some times, they finally asked me if I mind they looked under my desk. I said go ahead, you might find my snake pet down there. One of them looked at me awkwardly and said, no, that's not funny. We just heard a kitten meowing from here. It could be under your desk.

For at least two second, I was stunned. I didn't know whether to laugh or to say sorry. Obviously my sms alert tone had sent at least 10 people to search for a kitten all over my place!

Then slowly I said to them, sorry, it was my hand phone, please don't hate my sms tone. I hoped they'll find it funny, laugh it out and forget about it.

I was wrong. They were furious. They said I have wasted their time, and what if Mr. Bald happen to pass by and hear the sound? He's already in a bad mood from the failed PA system earlier, hearing cat's sound in the office certainly could give everybody troubles. Sigh. Fine, fine. But I did say sorry, right? After all, there is no written rules and regulation about mobile ring tones in the office.

They left after harassing me about my meowing phone. I thought we were good again, until one of the meanest 'aunties' came back to my desk and asked me to change my meowing tone into something else. She said they didn't like it and it may send other people the 'wrong message' if they heard it.

I said, feck off, you can't make me change my mobile tone. I like it this way and if you don't like it, too bad.

Of course, straight away after I said it, I regretted it. I thought her face turned blue when she heard what I had to say. I knew I shouldn't say it. Damn you, dirty mouth! I really have to wash your mouth with strong detergent!

This is my main problem these days. For no reason at all, I keep making enemies.

Tu lah ko midget gemuk, sepa suruh ko budget bagus, kan?

Uncle D Ku

2009-03-09T23:15:00.003+08:00

Hari ini aku telah diserang tension tahap bumbung rumah aku pasal perniagaan Forex aku hampir berbongkang gara-gara sikap tamak haloba aku yang tak berkesudahan. Nah, ambik kau! Hampir separuh keuntungan minggu lepas telah lesap!

Hal itu membuatkan aku jadi sedih dan bad mood. "Tak bleh jadi ni. Bagaimana nak pulihkan mood, ya?" aku bertanya pada diriku sendiri.

Aku belek-belek telefon burukku. Aku tekan-tekan butangnya dengan fikiran kosong. Tak semena-mena skrin TB (telefon burukku) memaparkan nama pak cik bongsuku yang kupanggil Uncle D. Dia seorang uncle yang cool. Dia kelakar, selalu ketawa terbahak-bahak. Dari 10 lawak dia buat, 10 kali jugalah aku gelak sampai terduduk. Bukan kerana lawak dia menjadi, tapi kerana dia boleh gelak sorang-sorang lepas buat lawak. Dia gelak bukan alang-alang, woi! Gelak sampai nampak tampal gigi geraham. Aku tak gelakkan tampalan cikai gigi geraham dia. Aku gelak kerana dia boleh gelakkan lawak dia sendiri sampai 'kebihis' kata orang Sabah. Bahasa Melayu kata meleleh air liur. Fun, siot!

Aku pun mendapat idea, kenapa tidak aku kol saja Uncle D ku ini. Mungkin dia ada lawak yang terbaru.

Dengar saja caller ring tone dia, aku dah gelak bagai nak rak. Dari dulu sampai sekarang caller ring tone dia kalau bukan lagu tema Doraemon, mesti lagu tangkap leleh Hindustan. Cayalah Uncle D!

Dia jawab panggilan.

Uncle D: Ah?

Wah, trend baru jawab telefon ke?

Aku: Aik? Busy kah? Siou.
(Aik? Sibuk ke? Maaf.)

Uncle D: Nokuro rih?
(Kenapa?)

Aku: Ingga boh. Mongudio oku tomod kabar. Monguroko koh?

(Tak ada apa, saja nak tanya khabar. Buat apa tu?)

Uncle D: Kodop oku boh da dii. Syif malam oku baino.
(Aku tidur , kena kerja syif malam ni.)

Aku: Oh, siou. Sombungai no modop. Monolipon oku kawagu lah.
(Sorry, pi lah sambung tidur. Nanti kol lagi)

Uncle D: Au monguro boh. Noposik oku no diti.
(Tak pe, aku dah terjaga)

Aku: Poingkuro karaja, osonong ie matuu?
(Macamana kerja, OK tak?)

Uncle D: Alaaaa...omm oruan koi nodi kawayu do overtime. Haro gia tulun minoguhod di gulu pasal inga karaja om putung gaji po ngawi.
(Sekarang ni kami teruk kena buat overtime. Hari tu ada pekerja yang mengamuk pasal kerja tak ada dan gaji dikurangkan.)

Aku: Moguhod di poingkuro?
(Mengamuk macamana?)

Uncle D: Omm, mingarang di ngawi yolo otogod dit tauke. Korosiai nopo ie tauke. Pujukai nodi yolo, nga guring pisang neh pinomujuk. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
(Pekerja-pekerja menjerit-jerit marahkan taukeh. Taukeh tu naik takut lalu mencari usaha memujuk pekerjanya. Tahu macamana dia pujuk? Dia belikan pisang goreng je. LOL)

Uncle D: (Terus ketawa berdekah-dekah) Om, oruan nodi kawagu tu ogumu di kopio overtime. Apanat no kopio. Korosiai nopo boh ie taukeh minoguhod yolo (ketawa lagi).

(Sekarang dah lebih pula. Dah terlalu banyak overtime. Penat lah. Taukeh tu dah takut agaknya, pasal pekerja mengamuk hari tu)

Uncle D masih lagi ketawa.

Rasanya gigi geraham bertampal dia dah kelihatan.

Uncle D terus ketawa dengan penuh semangat.

Aku pun mula gelak. Bukan kerana aku cerita pisang goreng itu kelakar tapi kerana aku boleh bayangkan bagaimana rupa Uncle D aku ketawa.

Aku jauhkan TB aku dari telinga. Manalah tahu air liur dia menemui jalannya ke TB aku.

Apapun, aku cayang kan Uncle D aku. Dia memang super cool. Masa majlis resepsi aku hari tu, dia straightened-kan rambut ikal dia supaya nampak hensem dalam gambar. Tabik spring kat Uncle D!

Sekarang dah tak bad mood lagi, thanks to Uncle D!

Hati Seorang Guru

2009-03-06T01:45:00.004+08:00

Walaupun menjadi seorang pendidik tidak pernah menjadi cita-citaku, aku tetap melaksanakan tugasku dengan amanah. Aku cuba memberikan yang terbaik kepada anak didikku, tanpa mengira kepercayaan dan warna kulit mereka.

Semenjak bermula tahun ini, kerjaku semakin bertambah berat. Aku diamanahkan untuk mengajar subjek yang aku tidak mahir. Suka atau tidak, aku terpaksa menurut perintah. Kesabaranku sering kali teruji, bukan sahaja oleh murid-muridku, tetapi juga rakan-rakan sekerja dan pihak pengurusan.

Aku tidak mahu merungut. Aku tidak mahu melawan. Aku telan semua kepahitan cabaran menjalankan tugas sebagai seorang guru. Tapi aku tidak sabar bila kemampuanku dibezakan hanya kerana aku berasal dari sebuah negeri yang dulu reputasinya aku akui agak ketinggalan dari negeri-negeri yang lain.

Kenapa mereka tidak mahu mengakui itu semua sudah berada dalam lipatan sejarah? Zaman berubah, manusia juga berubah. Semuanya berubah. Kenapa mereka perlu menilai kemampuanku berdasarkan reputasi negeri kelahiranku? Bukankah setiap individu berbeza? Aku tidak kisah jika aku diadili, dengan syarat gunakan kayu ukur yang adil. Selama ini aku sudah pun membuktikan aku lebih dari mampu mengatasi kebolehan rakan-rakan yang lain. Kenapa mereka enggan mengakuinya?

Aku tidak suka kejujuranku bekerja dipertikaikan. Aku kenal diriku. Aku bukan manusia yang tergamak makan gaji buta dengan bermalas-malasan dan bekerja ala kadar. Tidak perlulah aku senaraikan apa pengorbanan yang aku telah lakukan selama ini, aku tidak pernah megah atas semua itu. Aku juga tidak pernah meminta pujian. Aku lakukan itu sebagai balasan nilai terhadap wang yang aku ambil daripada rakyat sebagai gaji bulanan aku. Ia juga didorong oleh keikhlasanku menurunkan ilmu pengetahuanku kepada bangsa Malaysia.

Semasa memandu balik dari sekolah, aku tidak sengaja terpilih saluran lagu klasik di radio keretaku. Sebelum sempat aku tukar, pengacara saluran itu memainkan satu lagu yang tidak kusangka membuatkan air mataku menitis.

Sungguh. Aku menangis bagaikan anak kecil bila mendengar tiap bait lagu itu. Lagu itu sudah agak lama, sering ditujukan pada insan-insan yang suka berkorban masa dan tenaga. Selama ini, aku mendengar lagu ini tanpa ada apa-apa perasaan yang istimewa. Tidak pernah membuat aku gembira, tidak pernah juga membuat aku sedih....sehingga pada pukul 7.05 petang tadi.

Aku sungguh tidak menyangka sebuah lagu boleh meruntun hatiku, menyusuk dalam perasaanku dan menyebabkan aku menangis bagai anak kecil yang ditinggalkan ibu. Sesampainya aku di rumah, aku terus mencari lagu itu di YouTube, kemudian memuat turun lagu tersebut ke dalam komputerku.

Walaupun kesedihan hatiku ini tidak membanggakan aku, itu tidak menyebabkan aku malu untuk memberikan kredit kepada kumpulan Pelangi untuk lagu mereka, Biarku Menjadi Lilin. Kerana lagu ini, sakit hatiku segera surut.

Biarlah aku menjadi lilin untuk seketika ini. Biarlah aku sakit membakar diri, asalkan sekelilingku terang benderang. Biarlah tiada siapa yang sedar, aku tidak mengharapkan balasan. Cukuplah jika aku berjaya mendidik anak bangsaku menjadi 'orang'. Selagi aku masih bergelar seorang guru, aku akan terus berbakti, tanpa dendam dan benci.

Happy Birthday, Luv.

2009-03-05T23:47:00.004+08:00

Baby, you're a year wiser now.
I hope you enjoyed the Blackforest cake.

You got better birthday present this time.
Seats for Kitaro's concert at Genting Higland this Saturday!!

Happy Bday, Monkey.
Luv ya.

Do you remember me?

2009-03-03T00:08:00.005+08:00

Friends, they come and go from my life. Some left me with good memories, some with bitter memories. Some left me temporarily, some for good.

I can take it well, I can live with it. People come and go from our life. I do that too. It's OK, it's only normal.

Be it sweet, bitter, happy or sad memories, I accept them all. Although, I used to hate bad memories. I hated it so much that I thought if there were medicines invented to erase bad memories from people's head, I would take it, along with the risk of losing my good memories. That's how much I hate them.

However, life has taught me that everything happens for reason. If it left us with joy and happiness, praise god and enjoy it while it last. If it left us emotionally wounded, still praise god and let it be. Time will heal it and soon or later, we will find ourselves naturally moving on.

Yes, people come and go. This fact doesn't sadden me at all.

Nonetheless, there is a thing that sneakily managed to sadden me.

It's the people who have left me with nothing to remember, except for their name and face. Other than that, zero, nil, nada.

How could it be?

It saddens me because I want them to worth something in my memory. Remembering name and face is not good enough, I want more than that. What's good of having them in my 'hard disk' if they don't worth a pinch for the 'space' they take? Having to remember someone really mean and manipulative is way better than not being able to remember anything about someone I 'remember'.

Or, is the whole idea about them is 'remembering' their name and face? Maybe so that one day in future if I saw them again, I could save myself from embarrassment by remembering their name?

Oh, well.

Some Say

2009-03-02T08:21:00.002+08:00

(Author Anonymous)

Some say the donkey's grumpy
Some say the donkey's dumb

They pile its back with bundles
And scold it when it grumbles
And thump it when it stumbles

No wonder it is so glum!

Some say the donkey's stubborn
Some say it holds a grudge

If I were so mistreated
And got so overheated
I'd threaten to be seated

And never ever budge!!

(My students love this poem. They thought it somehow funny, yet very true. Shame I don't know who to give the credit for this awesome job.)

Big? What big?

2009-03-01T20:45:00.010+08:00

Student C.Y.L: Excuse me, Miss E. May I go out, please, please?

Me: I'm sorry dear, but we are in the middle of dictation activity. If I let you go right now, we will have to wait for you to come back before we can continue our activity. Can you wait for another 5 minutes?

Student C.Y.L: But I gotta go, please, please? You know when you gotta go, you gotta go.

Me: Alright. In that case, I give you 3 minutes and you have to promise you won't wet your pants or shoes or head so you have new reasons not to be in my class.

Student C.Y.L: Yes, Miss E. I promise.

Me: OK. Off you go. I expect you to be back three minutes from now.

(Student C.Y.L grabbed the pass card and rushed out)

One minute..

Two minutes...

Three minutes....
He's not back yet. Alright. Give him another minute.

Another minute was up. Still not back yet. Give him another minute.

Another minute was up, no sign of him. Total of 5 minutes now. OK. Maybe he's having a poo, give him another 2 minutes.
.
.
.
.
.
Two minutes were up. Still no sign of him. I started to be impatient.

Me: Ban Chang, can you check him in the washroom? Drag him out if he doesn't have important business there.

Class Monitor: Yes, Miss E.
(Off he went)

Five minutes later,

Class Monitor: I'm sorry, Miss E. He's no where to be found. I tried the other nearest washrooms but he's not there too.

Me: Thanks for your effort. Alright. If that is the case, we have to resume our activity without him.

We continued our dictation activity.

Riiiinnnnggggggggggg!!!

Me: Times up, children. Don't forget to bring your drawing block for our art class tomorrow.

Students: Yes, Miss E. Thank you, Miss E.

I went to the staff and dropped my stuffs. Grabbed my rotan, changed my high heels into a comfortable flat sandals and went on a 'mission' to locate this C.Y.L.

I started with all the washrooms in the school. He was not there.
Next was the school compound. He was not anywhere to be seen. Tsk!
Then I had no choice but to report his 'missing' to the management.

I was about to go to the office when I heard the loud scolding tone from the security officer's post. Though I didn't understand what they were saying (I don't speak Mandarin), I knew it was about my student. I went there and there he was, without even a slight of guilty feeling, he glanced at me.

Me: You lied!

Security Officer : (In a 'failed' Bahasa Melayu) I found him running around the car park area. He had a ruler with him and I thought I saw him scratching a few cars.

Me: Right. Thank you Mr. X. I'll take him from here.

I was too angry so I chose not to deal with him. I sent him to the management instead. I explained to them what happened and mentioned this is not the first time he 'strayed' away from my class.

Later in the afternoon, I asked myself. Is it my fault that I could not tackle that one particular student. I never got the 'chemistry' with the boy, no matter what I did. Last week in my art class, he refused to participate. Never mind that, but what pissed me off was that he disturbed his classmates. He purposely ruined their drawings with wet paint brush and found it amusing when his classmates cried. I tried to approach him with all those 'nice methods' taught to me in college but to no avail. He seemed to be 'deaf' when it comes to advice and friendly reminder. Finally I lost it. I have no right to physically punish him, so I sent him to the discipline teacher. You know what the teacher told me after meeting that boy? He said he hated me because I don't speak Mandarin and he doesn't like English or Malay language.

There's more. He said another reason was because my breast are big!!

For four-letters-word sake, kid, what do you know?! My breast are not for you to observe or anything, you are only 8 years old for heaven sake!

How could he make such remark on my breast? I can't do anything about my breast, I didn't have a choice on how big I want them to be. So you, little brat, I wanted so much to call you 'pervert' but because you are only a minor age and you don't understand what it means anyway, you are safe.

I will not give up on him, big no. He is maybe the hardest student I have so far but I refuse to give up on him. There must be ways to get through him, I will find out how.

Ya, I am furious for what he did and said. But he's only a kid, a kid can't rule me. I will get into him one day. I promise. I will make him understand, just because I don't speak Mandarin, it doesn't mean I am a bad teacher for him. I'm not the most perfect teacher but I believe I have enough qualities to deserve the title of a good teacher .

And for his 'low opinion' on my breast size, well...kiddo, I can't do anything about it. You are allowed to exercise your freedom of speech and opinion. Just so you know, if it not because you are a minor age, I would take your remark as a compliment. Oh well. One day when you grow up and start to notice your opposite sex, maybe you'll change your mind about it. Ha Ha!

Kids these days, ei? Tsk, tsk, tsk!

Hello Blog!

2009-02-26T21:55:00.003+08:00

Poor blog has been abandon. Was not in the mood of updating for a while.

I had a fever last week. I thought it was just another ordinary fever I used to get now and then but I was wrong, it was the one I have like once in 5 or 6 years. Since it comes only once in a blue moon, usually it stays with me for a while, like it just did. I really don't mind getting sick now and then, no? It's a sign of me being a human being. Nonetheless, I don't like this one. Not only it takes a long time to recover, it makes me feel very weak too.It starts with fever, and then severe headache, lost of appetite, followed by muscles sore, sore throat and finally those annoying coughing. It was certainly not a fun thing, specially the sore throat bits. I lost my voice due to it. It was only for a week but gosh, it felt like forever! I was struggling greeting my students back at the start of my lesson, let alone teaching. Not fun!

I owed a few of my fellow colleagues who had been helping me with my classroom control during my sick period. Having to lost my voice was like having to lost my authority in the class. For the first five minutes, the midgets obeyed my instructions I wrote on the writing board. After that sweet five minutes, they changed their mind, took their positions and started the 'wet market' environment. Oh well. Since my body was not well, my mood was kind of not 'there' too. So I cut loose and let them do the Hangman, Win Lose or Draw and Wind Blow instead of those daily routines. Very noisy, though. I got complained from the management. Too bad, I can't do much about it. They should know it's way better for them to have noisy classes than having the trouble of scheduling teachers to relief my classes. They really should thank me for my willingness to drag my sick ass to work and save their trouble instead of complaining the 'meaningful noise' coming from my classroom. Tsk!

Except for my voice, everything is almost back to normal now. I reckon this 'horse voice' will stay with me for a few days more until the coughing is completely gone.

Ermm, what else?
Looking.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Scratching head.
.
.
.
.
.
Nothing!

So I guess I will come back again some other time.

Weekends are coming, enjoy it!

Messages:-

Aims~ Hi dear, I'm sorry I lost ur email add. Do you mind giving it to me?
1010~ Is everything OK now?
Tut2~ Miz ya.
Chris~ How's your study?
Ira~ Still need help with the HTML?
Jeb~ Where's me RM? Ha ha!
Monkey~ Bah! Like you'll read my blog! He he he. No msg for u.

Tagged by Christine

2009-02-13T23:17:00.002+08:00

Rules :
- pick your birth month .
- strike out anything that doesn't apply you .
- bold (italicize) the best apply to you .
- copy to your own blog , with all twelve months .

or , you can just do like this .

red : yup . that's me .
purple : maybe yes, maybe not, not sure..
blue : never me .

THE MONTH OF DECEMBER

DECEMBER : loyal and generous . sexy . patriotic . active in games and interactions . impatient and hasty . ambitious . influential in organizations . fun to be with . loves to socialize . loves praises . loves attention . loves to be loved . honest and trustworthy . not pretending . short tempered . changing personality . not egotistic . take high pride in oneself . hates restrictions . loves to joke . good sense of humor . logical .

JANUARY : stubborn and hard - hearted . ambitious and serious . loves to teach and be taught . always looking at people's flaws and weakness . likes to criticize . hardworking and productive . smart , neat and organized . sensitive and has deep thoughts . knows how to make others happy . quiet unless excited or tensed . rather reserved . highly attentive . resistant to illness but prone to colds . romantic but has difficulties expressing love . love children . loyal . has great social abilities yet easily jealous . very stubborn and mony cautious .

FEBRUARY : abstract thoughts . loves reality and abstract . intelligent and cleaver . changing personality . attractive . sexy . temperamental . quiet , shy and humble . honest and loyal . determined to reach goals . loves freedom . rebellious when restricted . loves aggressiveness . too sensitive and easily hurt . gets angry really easily but does not show it . dislikes unnecessary things . loves making friend but rarely shows it . daring and stubborn . ambitious . realizes dreams and hopes . sharp . loves entertainment and leisure . romantic on the inside not outside . superstitious and ludicrous . spendthrift . tries to learn to show emotions .

MARCH : attractive personality . sexy . affectionate . shy and reserved . secretive . naturally honest , generous and sympathetic . loves peace and serenity . sensitive to others . loves to serve others . easily angered . trustworthy . appreciative and returns kindness . observant and assesses others . revengeful . loves to dream and fantasize . loves traveling . loves attention . hasty decisions in choosing partners . loves home decors . musically talented . loves special things . moody .

APRIL : active and dynamic . decisive and hasty but tends to regret . attractive and affectionate to oneself . strong mentality . loves attention . diplomatic . consoling , friendly and solves people's problems . brave and fearless . adventurous . loving and caring . suave and generous . emotional . aggressive . hasty . good memory . moving . motivates oneself and others . sickness usually of the head and chest . sexy in a way that only their lover can see .

MAY : stubborn and hard - hearted . strong - willed and highly motivated . sharp thought . easily angered . attracts others and loves attention . deep feelings . beautiful physically and mentally . firm standpoint . need no motivation . easily consoled . systematic ( left brain ) . loves to dream . strong clairvoyance . understanding . sickness usually in the ear and neck . good imagination . good physical . weak breathing . loves literature and arts . love traveling . dislike being at home . restless . not having many children . hardworking . high spirited . spendthrift .

JUNE : thinks far with vision . easily influenced by kindness . polite and soft - spoken . having ideas . sensitive . active mind . hesitating , tends to delay . choosy and always wants the best . temperamental . funny and humorous . loves to jokes . good debating skills . talkative . daydreamer . friendly . knows how to make friends . able to show character . easily hurt . prone to getting colds . loves to dress up . easily bored . fussy . seldom shows emotions . takes time to recover when hurt . brand conscious . executive . stubborn .

JULY : fun to be with . secretive . difficult to fathom and to be understood . quiet unless excited or tensed . takes pride in oneself . has reputation . easily consoled . honest . concerned about people's feelings . tactful . friendly . approachable . emotional temperamental and unpredictable . moody and easily hurt . witty and sparkly . not revengeful . forgiving but never forgets . dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things . guides others physically and mentally . sensitive and forms impressions carefully . caring and loving . treats others equally . strong sense of sympathy . wary and sharp . judges people through observation . hardworking . no difficulties in studying . loves to be alone . always broods about the past and the old friends . likes to be quiet . homely person . waits for friends . never looks for friends . not aggressive unless provoked . prone to having stomach and dieting problems . loves to be loved . easily hurt but takes long to recover .

AUGUST : loves to joke . attractive . suave and caring . brave and fearless . firm and has leadership qualities . knows how to console others . too generous and egoistic . takes high pride in onself . thirsty for praises . extraordinary spirit . easily angered . angry when provoked . easily jealous . observant . careful and cautious . thinks quickly . independent thoughts . loves to lead and to be led . loves to dream . talented in arts , music and defense . romantic . loving and caring . loves to make friends .

SEPTEMBER : suave and compromising . careful , cautious and organized . likes to point out people's mistakes . likes to criticize . stubborn . quiet but able to talk well . calm and cool . kind and sympathetic . concerned and detailed . loyal but not always honest . does work well . confident . sensitive . good memory . clever and knowledgeable . loves to look for information . must control oneself when criticizing . able to motive oneself . understanding . fun to be around . secretive . love leisure and traveling . hardly shows emotions . tends to bottle up feelings . very choosy , especially in relationships . systematic .

OCTOBER : loves to chat . loves those who loves them . loves to take things on the center . inner and physically beauty . lies but doesn't pretend . gets angry often . treats friends importantly . always making friends . easily hurt but recovers easily . daydreamer . opinionated . does not care of what others think . emotional . decisive . strong clairvoyance . loves to travel , the arts of literature . touchy and easily jealous . concerned . loves outdoors . just and fair . spendthrift . easily influenced . easily loses confidence . loves children .

NOVEMBER : has a lot of ideas . difficult to fathom . thinks forward . unique and brilliant . extraordinary ideas . sharp thinking . fine and strong clairvoyance . can become good doctors . dynamic in personality . secretive . inquisitive . knows how to dig secrets . always thinking . less talkative but amiable . brave and generous . patient . stubborn and heart - hearted . if there is a will , there is a way . determined . never give up . hardly becomes angry unless provoked . loves to be alone . thinks differently from others . sharp - minded . motivates oneself . does not appreciate praises . high - spirited . well - built and tough . deep love and emotions . romantic . uncertain in relationship . homely . hardworking . high abilities . trustworthy . honest and keeps secrets . not able to control emotions . unpredictable .

DECEMBER : loyal and generous . sexy . patriotic . active in games and interactions . impatient and hasty . ambitious . influential in organizations . fun to be with . loves to socialize . loves praises . loves attention . loves to be loved . honest and trustworthy . not pretending . short tempered . changing personality . not egotistic . take high pride in oneself . hates restrictions . loves to joke . good sense of humor . logical .

Blue Monday

2009-02-09T18:00:00.013+08:00

Yaaii.

Not much going on today. It's a bank holiday here in west Malaysia (Thaipusam) so pretty much I just sit at home and stare on my lappy screen again. I managed to sleep last night, after almost 32 hours being awake. I went to the tuition centre staff meeting yesterday, big boss bought us dinner from Sushi King. Didn't really enjoy the deep fried stuffs but it was free, so why complain. Anyways, that was my first meeting with them. All these time we ran our activities separately, I'm new and haven't met any of the centre's staffs. I'm glad I went to the meeting, I got the whole picture/idea of what the learning centre is about. Nothing much I can say about their business targets/aims. I've been doing part time freelance for a while with a few centres, I'm quite familiar with tuition centres business ideas. Each centre tries to be unique and individual, no surprise on that. At the end of the day, they still care how much money they earn as much as they care how much knowledge their students gain. I'm fine with that, except one thing, they want me to do marketing for them.

I don't know if I'm comfortable with it. As I am only doing this part time, I am trying not to get involved in the marketing stuff because it is clearly not my department. I'm giving lessons. I only need to plan my lesson based on the syllabus, set achievable objectives, make sure the children get whatever I'm passing to them and that's it, overall reflection on the session and I'm on my way home. The idea of me promoting the centre and getting more students is really making me feel uneasy. I'm planning to phone the boss sometimes this week and tell her not to expect me bringing students to her centre. I can promise her I will build a good rapport with my current students and make them stay but I will definitely not going out and market the centre's programme. If she insists, then she better comes up with a different deal on that one cos I'm not a cow, she can't manipulate me.

Oh, have I mentioned that I am the youngest one in the team? I was quite surprised the rest of the staffs are above the age of 45 and have been in the profession for many, many years. Imagine their experiences compared to mine. From our discussion I can tell they really know what they are doing, they are very good at it. I feel a little bit small around them. I learnt later that day that the boss is very particular with one's amount of experience before she employs anybody. Uuuhh, that gave me a sceptical feeling. She knows I am still green in this profession, what makes her offered me this job? The closest thing I can think about is that her centre was understaffed and she was desperate to get someone to cover it. Well, whatever it was, it's good for me because so far, I've got paid RM208 in cash for 4 sessions (8 hours). I know it's not much compared to what I used to get from other centres but it should cover one month payment for one of my credit cards, that's the only thing matter to me.

It's been a while since the last time I wrote about Forex. I lost quite a lot last week and couldn't afford to fund my account until last Friday. I must say Paypal is very convenient funding my account. With Paypal, I got my transaction done in no time. Monkey funds his account by wire transfer and it took 3 business days. Well, we know now that Paypal is better than wire transfer.

The market just opened today after the weekend, so it's quite slow. I've made 31 pips so far but possibly will lose it all if I'm not careful because I've jumped too quick on USD/JPY 30 minutes ago. I thought it was about to break the daily pivot and making a way ahead but I was wrong, it didn't. Now I'm down by 13 pips, if it reached -20, I'll quit it. The CCI is still looking good though, I hope it would turn around and make my day.

I spent a few good hours analysing the chart this afternoon. I have learnt a few things, I'm happy to share it here (doesn't have to be accurate all the time, maybe it's only for today's market):

1. The best time to trade is during the London market open because it has the highest trading volume.

2. Pay more attention to USDJPY chart. It kind of leading other currency pairs.

3. When USDJPY goes down, pretty much GBPJPY goes down too.

4. When GBPJPY goes down, GBPUSD goes down too.

5. When GBPUSD goes down, pretty much EURUSD is even but EURGBP goes down coz pound is getting stronger.

I have all these in my daily journal already but I thought it's not wrong to share my little lesson today, maybe it could be useful for other people too. Gotta go now. My USDJPY chart has started to show some good indications, I think it's good for me to glue my eyes on the chart.

Later alligator!

Another sleepless night

2009-02-08T05:46:00.003+08:00

05.47 a.m.

Laptop was shut at 9 p.m. and now being used again.

Oh, great! I'm still wide awake. I am getting concern now, it's been few nights in a row I couldn't sleep at night. Lucky me, I am working in the afternoon, at least I could catch one or two hours resting in the afternoon.

I've long stopped drinking coffee. I don't take anything with caffeine, not since I started my healthy diet. But why, why can't I sleep? Why, why, why?

*Sigh* I guess I have to pay my doctor a visit again. Argh, just my luck...more money will spread their wings and say goodbye to my purse. Maybe this time it's worth to seek a second opinion because last time my doctor said it was probably an insomnia (which I think is possible), so he referred me to the neurology department. Guess what, it freaked the hell out of me!! I couldn't sleep at night like my father and his father...and for that, I got referred to the psychiatrist? No, thanks. Although, I know the doctor meant well, he said only psychiatrists can prescribe sleeping pills..so he thought it's better for me to have a session with the expert. But again, it really freaked me out, so, no thanks. I'll figure something else.

I better get off this computer and try to sleep again. I have to reach the learning centre before 8.30 a.m, otherwise the boss will get very bossy and noisy again.

Now I wish I didn't take their offer. I realised now my Sunday means a lot to me, it should be a sleep in day like always, not giving private lesson to a bunch of not-so-nice-thing-to-say-here who refuse to speak any other language but their mother tongue. Oh goodness me...see?! I think I just whined. I definitely don't like it being tired and sleepless like this. Arghh!

Penyakit kah ni ah?

2009-02-04T03:51:00.004+08:00

Adoi...pukul 4 pagi sudah rupanya, kenapa tak boleh tidur ni. Tsk!

Kenapa bah enda buli tidur ni. Kerja lagi bisuk. Tiap malam macam ni, matilah sa. Hari-hari macam zombie pi kerja. Budak-budak pun takut kali tingu eyebags sa. Belum campur lagi jerawat-jerawat pengkhianat yang mula sudah tumbuh melata di dagu sama pipi. Tsk!

Apa lagi yang sa enda buat? Minum cell food sudah, minum air suam sudah, kira kambing pun sudah. Sampai beribu-ribu lagi. Tu munyit kegeruk sudah sana sebelah, sa lagi ni yang enda dapat tidur. Kalau datang lagi enda buli tidur sa macam dulu, aduuu...susahlah sa. Sa enda mau berurusan sama doktor pasal hal ni lagi. Not for the 3rd time.

Kah, ni barang memang run in the family? Penyakit kah ni ah? Dulu sa enda kisah langsung bila sa notice aki sa masih duduk tepi dompuran tiap-tiap kali sa bangun pi tandas, enda kira lah pukul berapa pun waktu malam. Sa anggap itu memang tabiat orang yang sudah tua. Sa enda heran juga bila sa tebangun tengah malam atau subuh-subuh, bapa sa masih lagi layan TV. Kadang-kadang sa tebangun batuk-batuk tengah malam pasal bapa sa masak lada putih or langkangon, penuh bau dia satu rumah. Sa ingat dia memang sengaja pasal dia tu kaki gusti, tau ja lah astro, 24 jam ada siaran. Tapi bila sa pikir-pikir balik, mengkali ni keturunan, tau. Sa teingat ada satu kali tengah-tengah malam, bapa sa pernah kasi bangun adik-adik lelaki sa, bawa pi magasu. Dia bilang dia enda dapat tidur. Tepikir pula sa, mungkin aki sa sama bapa sa bukan saja-saja sengaja bejaga malam, mangkali diorang memang enda dapat tidur malam, just like me.

Kalau betul lah, aduuu...macam mana lah ni ah. Durang enda apa lah, durang lelaki. Mata hitam macam panda pun enda peduli, orang tidak judge. Tapi sa ni perempuan. Sudahlah sa sekarang lebih besar dari tong minyak (thanks to the clomaid dan semua pil-pil hormon yang sa terpaksa talan), matilah sa kalau muka pun jadi macam panda yang bejerawat. Panda bagus lagi, kurang-kurang pun, putih juga bahagian lain muka diorang. Saya? Huh. Memang betul-betul menurunkan level self-esteem. Sa enda mo pikir buruk pasal laki sa, sa kenal luar dan dalam dia, dia tidak akan judge sa or love me less kerana my fizikal changed. Cuma kadang-kadang tu bila sa keluar sama dia, ada juga rasa paranoid bila perempuan-perempuan muda yang kaki diorang panjang-panjang, lurus, pakai skirt pendek-pendek pula tu, jeling-jeling manja sama laki sa. Kalau sa ada, mestilah bah laki sa buat-buat enda nampak tapi sa tau dia nampak juga. Buhunglah kalau sa cakap sa enda rasa tergugat. Dulu enda berapa, masa berat sa belum cecah 65 kg. Buli lagi sa pakai dress lawa-lawa, ketat-ketat, kasi tunjuk sikit aset. Sekarang apa lagi sa boleh bangga, pakai baju ketat, tebonjol semua lemak-lemak. Pakai baju longgar pula, nampak macam bunting 4 bulan. Kalau muka pun jadi macam panda, ampunnnnnnnnn....bagus sa bekurung ja dalam rumah sampai sa pulih dari semua ini. Arghhh!! Tension!!Tension!!!!

Bagus sa try lagi kira kambing. Mana tau nikali ada kambing yang mo tulung sa jatuh tidur. Sa enda mau ambil cuti sakit esok gara-gara enda dapat tidur.

Nothing justify the act of cheating

2009-02-01T18:59:00.004+08:00

Went to the wet market to get some fresh food for the Jazzy. It was quiet down there. Lot of stalls were still not open. Maybe the stall operators are still having CNY fever, they rather stay at home and chill out. Lucky my regular chicken stall was open, they know exactly what I need and since I am regular, they give me special price for chicken carcass at all times. The lau ban was not around today, his staffs ran the stall.

I discovered their dirty trick today. I stood in front of the stall, waiting for the staff to get my frozen chicken carcass from their freezer at the back. It was about quarter to one in the afternoon, they were about to pack everything into their big freezer and go back. I noticed they weight the chicken before they packed it individually. Nothing wrong with that but what disturbed me is that they actually looked at the scale and then put water into the chicken's pack until the needle moved to the round figure. Cheating! That's cheating!

What happen is, the chickens are going to individual plastic bags and then get frozen in the freezer. The next day, they'll just take it out and put it on the weight scale and charge their customers based on the weight displayed. Of course the customer won't suspect anything because they don't notice the 'added element' in their chicken. The water has already turned into ice, frozen together with the chicken.

Ya, maybe they say why fuss, it's not that much, 70-80g per pack, it's only a little. Hm, still, it doesn't justify the cheating, does it? No matter big or small, cheating is cheating. Man..cheating is a sin. You can't do that, it's a bad, bad karma.

So, my two cents, if you go to Pasar Awam Taman Perling to buy chicken, make sure you buy the fresh or defrosted ones.

Next time I come there again, I'll talk to the owner and tell him I'm not happy with the way they run the business. If I have to, I'll say if he doesn't stop it, he will be doomed and the 'water money' he steals from his customers will turn into poison in his daily food. And if he doesn't welcome me to his stall anymore, well, I can always drive to Hans Market and get my supply from there.

I did say 'Hey, that's cheating' to his staffs but they didn't even feel shy or make their dirty action look not so obvious. I know they heard me though, because they did say 'sah poh' to me. Hello? I know, you know, that I'm not Chinese but I know what is a 'sah poh'. And I'm not. I was just saying the truth, THEY ARE CHEATING.

How I spend my CNY holiday

2009-01-26T14:14:00.024+08:00

Just finished a novel by Sue Townsend. Not bad. Took me 5 hours to finish it.

Something unusual happened last night. I was sleepless so I started reading the novel. Monkey was already sleeping soundly. Around half past two in the morning, he rose up from the bed and sat at the edge of it with both of his hands on his face. I asked if he's alright but he was just quiet. Boy, I wished he was having a nightmare and sleep walking but he wasn't. He then went to the kitchen, grabbed two cans of beer and went to the gazebo. I got concerned so I went to the kitchen too, looked for the mosquito coils, grabbed dinner leftover, went back to bedroom, grabbed the novel and torch light. I followed him to the gazebo. I said to him I'm there to listen if he wanted to talk about what bothering him. So he started talking and I started listening (and eating leftover). Damn, Midget! Rice at 3 a.m.? No wonder you are so fat!

It was something about the unfinished business during his childhood. I can't say much, it's too personal for him. He sat quietly after pouring his heart out. I was hoping he would go back to bed but just the minute bofore I mentioned it, he said he wanted to wait until half past four (Malaysia time) to ring his parents in Australia. He said they would be awake by then. Oh, poor baby. I didn't want to say anything, just sat there quietly with him. I was afraid I might upset him if I suggested we go to back into the house and wait in there (mosquitoes were feasting on my legs, that's why), so I kept the suggestion to myself and kept eating my rice. He somehow got tired of waiting for the time to pass after he finished his last beer. He said he felt sleepy and chaged his mind, he would ring them first thing when he wakes up. Good.

I didn't wake up until half past twelve in the afternoon. It was my mother that woke me up, she rang from my grandparents' paddy field, reporting that they have finished harvesting the paddy today. I could hear aunt Betsy's voice at the background. What!? They came all the way from Sarawak to harvest the field? Oh. Maybe Uncle Victor got a long weekend for the Chinese New Year off. Good for them. I didn't talk much though. I don't like talking or listening to anybody the minute I am awake from my sleep. I said to her I'll call her back and threw the mobile phone onto my table. I didn't rise from my bed. Instead, I continued reading my novel until I finished it.

I smelled something strong in the air. Why, the smell is familiar. Right! It's the smell of something from Monkey's BBQ set. As I am typing this, he comes in to the room and pull my blanket. He said I must get up and lend him my hands outside, or else. I said, no way, I'm having a nap. He replied, no way too, you just got up from your sleep, I don't believe you stil are still sleepy. Oh, and he said my sister and our guest are cleaning the house too! Great. Now I'm officially in trouble.

But no, I don't want to get out from my bedroom just yet. I have been working 21 days in a row and now that I'm having a CNY off, I want to just lay in my bed and forget how hard it was working every day, including Sundays. They can clean the house all they like and Monkey could make my bro and my sister's boyfriend help him with grilling. I'm wondering what's the big deal about having BBQ again, we just had a BBQ to celebrate CNY last night. One whole chicken, one big fish and many chops. I don't agree with this, if we have BBQ everyday, it will take out the pleasure of having it. BBQ is the only thing we're looking forward when my family members and friends come over. Fair enough, they are here now but it doesn't mean we have to have BBQ party every day. Plus, last night was already extra special because they climbed the roof to watch fireworks.

There is another thing. I know something I shouldn't know about my guest. She didn't know that I know. It's really painful for me to bear it and therefore, I don't have a heart to face her today. I know she is acting things out so that everything looks normal. And I acted as if I didn't know anything too. That's really a hard job as I am never known for being good at acting out anything. I nearly said something last night about me knowing her big-dirty secret but lucky, my brain acted faster than my mouth. Shees, Midget. Mind your own business. It's not your place to say anything about it. Oooohhhhh..but it's getting heavier on my shoulder now! I don't know how much longer I can do it. I am so hurt that she has the gut to keep things like (the secret) from people, specially her family (which I know and fond very much). This is not right. By doing this, I can see that she's on her way to successfully makes many people get hurt (I am already hurt). *Sigh* Maybe I should say a little pray for her.

----God, please bless her and give her a true heart. Give her strength to be honest so she could come up clean and save all the pain she could cause to the people who love her. Please god, I haven't beg for anything from you in the last 5 years. You got to grant this one. I would give 50 bucks extra to my sister before she leaves to college this weekend if you granted it. Amen. ---

There. I'm feeling better now. I've done my part. Maybe not completely just yet, she's not leaving until tomorrow so I still have to carry out my new acting career. I hope I am getting good at it. Might as well consider taking acting class and pursue new career as infamous actress like Fasha Sanda. Hah!

**************************

4.09 p.m. now - I was dragged out of bed by Monkey before. He had his foot down so I had to leave my bed coz he actually grabbed both my legs and dragged me from the bed. I fell off the bed and knocked my head on the floor. Very painful. He will have to pay for that. Went to the living room, my bro and sis' bf were watching prison break. Went to kitchen and joined my sis and the guest eating mee hoon soup. My sis cooked. Smell alright but didn't taste very good. Sorry sis, just saying my honest opinion. Back to the living room, my bro said how dare I didn't get up and help with the BBQ preparation. For god sake, it's Australia Day and it means a lot to my Australian monkey.

Ah! Now everything makes sense. Today is 26th January, Australia Day. I feel guilty to Monkey. I apologised and said he doesn't have to pay for the lump on the back of my head. He said OK, now we are good again. I asked him now that I am apologised, can I have the best bit of those grilled meat on his plate. He said OK, so I thought we were really not fighting anymore. I ate them joyfully. Suddenly he said I have to stop being lazy, though. Ouch, that hurt! I said, ya right, I've been working as hard as you, I started my new year by working 21 days in a row and hell ya, I have my right to be lazy on my off day. I quickly left the 'scene of crime' (Monkey accusation of me being lazy-that's a serious crime) and now I am in my room again, typing my first very true and real secret monologue. Damn you, Monkey. I can lock the bedroom door, you know. You can sleep in the study tonight. First you said I'm forgiven for forgetting one of the many unimportant dates (to me) and let me ate the best bit of meat on your plate. Next, you said I'm lazy because I didn't help you celebrating it. You are in a big trouble now. We are officially fighting again!

I think I'll call it a day now. I'm going to bed, it's a better way to avoid Monkey. If he tried to make peace with me today, he can't, because I can't hear him in my sleep. Alright. Off now.

Ow. Shoot! I just remember that I have to send my bro to the bus station later. He has to go back to Kuantan. Now I can't sleep. Shoot! Unless I ask Monkey to drop him there, which I can't because we are fighting. I know the rest of the people in my house right now doesn't have a clue how to get to Larkin. Hopeless brats! I drove to their place in Shah Alam and found their place on my first attempt, why can't they pay attention every time I pick them up from Larkin? Now I can't go to bed. I can only have a short nap. Or, maybe I can arrange to call the cab company for him. ~ but I'm afraid he will get mad of me, it'll cost him a lot of money...

What do I do, what do I do...

Maybe I should nap now and see how I feel when I get up. Maybe I won't be this mad at Monkey after the nap. But he must say sorry first, otherwise I won't say a thing to him until he feels neglected and makes a sad face.

OK. Gotta go now. Talk soon.

Rest In Peace, Little Angel...

2009-01-25T17:02:00.005+08:00

She was the love of my cousin's family, their only daughter, the only sister of her two brothers. Sadly, she's not with us anymore. She was diagnosed with brain tumor at the age of 33 months. I believe God has a better plan for her, so He took her to join Him in heaven.

I pray may her family keep going strong facing this painful loss. Claire dearest, I know how it feels losing someone dear to us. I understand words can't comfort us. Be strong my dear. I'm sure she's now in a better place and good hands. Time will heal the pain in our heart. Please know that my love is always with you and your family.

Rest in peace little angel. I will always dearly remember you in my daily prayer.

Here is the copy of her short story from The Star.

PETALING JAYA: When she was alive, Esther Lim Joy-Ern (pic) brought joy to everyone she met. With her passing at the age of two years and nine months, she gave others a new lease on life.

The only daughter of Lim Heng Seng, 56, and Claire George, 30, (they have two sons), Esther died of brain tumour last month in Kota Kinabalu.

Her kidneys were harvested and the recipients are a 17-year-old boy in Sabah and a 12-year-old girl in Malacca.

Her passing is a painful loss to her parents but they did not have any reservations when asked if Esther’s organs could be harvested.

“There was complete peace in my heart,” said her mother.

“It felt like the right thing to do,” Lim added.

“We knew that this gift is reflective of Esther’s life. Her name means joy and grace. Our precious daughter is already in heaven.

“I can only thank God that she was in our life. With her passing, she continues to be a joy and blessing to others,” said George.

She, however, admitted that the concept of harvesting organs was new to her family and she had to convince Esther’s grandmother about its benefits.

The couple is now encouraging others to do the same. They have sons Benjamin Lim An-Yi, six, and Joshua Lim An-Yue, two. They have also given each other permission to consent to their own organs being harvested.

“The doctors did not push us into doing this and when they handed Esther to us after the procedure, she looked angelic.

“I know the staff had gone out of their way to do their best to save our daughter’s life,” said Lim.

Dr Indra Ganesan, the Consultant Paediatric Nephrologist who was part of the team that coordinated the harvesting process, said both recipients were at the end stage of renal failure and were dialysis-dependent, “When they received a new donated kidney that functions, they had a life-changing experience. They can now drink nlimited amount of fluids and are no longer dialysis-dependent,” she said .

Happy Chinese New Year

2009-01-24T18:54:00.004+08:00

To all my friends, colleagues, family members and those who celebrate this occasion.

Safe journey, don't drink and drive.

I have a pocket full of sunshine!

2009-01-22T21:04:00.009+08:00

I haven't written anything in the past few days. I've been preoccupied with school works lately. Working life is very hectic at the moment. I haven't get used to teach Bahasa Malaysia yet. I need a lot of time and energy to do revision on my own on the methodology of this subject. I get very exhausted every day from doing too many things at a time. I guess that is what working adults life is like...so I must keep myself close to the positive auras and keep going on with a wide smile on my face.

Oh, and I have started to give private lessons on the weekends. I do this as a favour to a friend who owns a big learning centre in here. Plus, I need a little extra money to pay off my 'greed in the past' (ha ha, CREDIT CARDS! Dangerous stuff). On the other hand, giving private lessons is not bad at all. I get along with my students very well. I think I enjoy it more than teaching at school. Maybe teaching IS for me, just not at public school. I don't know for sure yet, I'll figure it out soon and write about it here.

Most nights, after cleaning myself, I only get the chance to put one or two trade on Forex, grab a few pips and off to bed. Some nights I don't even get the chance to read my favourite websites and friend's blogs. That's how tired I am. Dinner is always skipped these days ~~ I decided to take my bestie mum's advice, with hope I would lose some excess baggages on my belly.

But not tonight, I have something exciting to do than resting! No trading on Forex or following online classes for me tonight. I bought myself new DVDs ~ I've been waiting these DVDs to be released in here for more than 6 months. This is my first happy day so far for this year. Having these DVDs in my hand is really, really making me super happy!

So, tonight I will be watching Prison Break Season 4 (Part 2), Heroes Season 3 (Part 2) and Desperate Housewives Season 5 (Part 1).

Must go now. Can't wait to start watching them!!

"Monkey, where are you??? Are you coming with me or not??"

He must be in his study room coz he replied "I'm in the middle of something, just go ahead, I'll catch ya later!"

OK, suit yourself. I'm gonna start the Prison Break without you then.

Laters!

Reminder for myself

2009-01-15T22:30:00.007+08:00

Dear me,

Don't get frustrated just yet. Things could be better.

Currency trading can be for everybody. It's just the matter of understanding how the currency pair breath with each other. Carefully analysing the trends is crucial. For a beginner like you, it's better to focus on two or less currency pairs. Also, use simple indicators until you understand other ways to read the chart. The next thing is, risk only what you are willing to risk. Once you lost it, you lost it. Take control your emotion. Take profit at 20 pips and don't get greedy. Stick on your target of 20 pips a day, don't, DON'T get greedy. It's always good to practice on demo account. Trade on live account only when you are very confident and all your indicators are indicating it's the right time to make profit. Otherwise, don't risk it. Trust your indicators. Trading without knowing what you are doing is no different than gambling.

The last thing is, remember that we are not gambling here darling, we call it trading. It's for smart people, not for the you-know-what people.

Keep that in mind. Success comes through erudition, not falling from the sky. Read more, ask more, practice more.

Keep positive!

No Regret!

2009-01-15T20:06:00.012+08:00

An update from yesterday's incident happened to me at work.

As I expected, when I woke up this morning, I felt bad for slapping and swearing at my colleague. I left to work early so I could catch some descent time to approach her and make it up to her.

When I arrived, I noticed a few people who are close to the girl gave me cold look, while those who are close to me gave me extra length of smile and weird 'kind words'. The funny thing is, those people who never talked to me or returned my smile, say hello to me! Ha ha! They must have heard it and been shocked, this nobody is actually capable to snap and swear.

OK. OK. I admit it was a bit over the top for me to swear. It's never good to swear...but what to do, it happens and unfortunately, it happens to me too. Yes, I swear a lot. I don't know why I have the need to swear. I can't help from swearing when I snap. Before I know it, it already happened. I'm working on getting rid of this habit off me, I kind of don't like it too.

Back on the update, I approached her and stated my feelings about yesterday's incident. Guess what her response was?

"You have ruined it, I have no more space for you. You are as good as dead to me now. Get lost!"

She said that without even looking at me but I know she meant it.

Fine. Fine. Maybe that's what I deserve for slapping and swearing at her. She has every right to get angry at me and tell me to get lost. So I thought, since she had already said 'get lost', I should leave her alone. I turned around and that's when she added 'STUPID BITCH' (and more).

Alright. That's it. Here I am, trying to be a responsible adult...and all she did was keep scratching the wound. I keep saying sorry for the thing that I did only ONCE to her. ONCE! She did nothing but keep humiliating me like she always did.

I turned back to her and poked her waist like how she did to me for the past 12 months. She screamed.

I said 'This is what you keep doing to me all these time' and I poked her again.

She shouted 'Hey, stop it!'

I replied, 'No, you stop it. I've been telling you all these time to stop doing this to me (poking her waist again) but you ignored it. Now you tell me, how does it feel being touched on your waist without your permission?'

She got very upset. I could see it from her body language. That drama started to attract other people's attention so I thought I should leave it.

She raised her voice again and swore at me 'F*&% O#$ lah you. Stupid bitch (and more, which I don't think we should read here.)' She started to cry (again!). My god. All these while I thought I was the worst cry baby in this whole world. I was wrong, she is worst than me.

I wanted to snap more...but then I came to my sense. This is very childish. It will only make us look very ugly. So for the last one, I said to her 'Now, you know I have said sorry to you too many times already. You also know I came to shake your hand. Fine. I'll get lost. But before I go, I want you to know that you owe me an apology for your ignorance all these times. If you listened and respected my wishes, you won't get the slap and swear yesterday. Think about that when you are not angry anymore.'

Then I left. I have done my part. Yes, I hurt her but then I apologized and I mean it. Whilst on her side, she sees me as an evil who can't take a continuously practical 'poking joke'. Now according to her, I am a mean-stupid-bitch and apparently also a slut (hey, funny! Slapping someone on her hand and swearing at her can't make someone a slut. R, update your vocabulary. If you don't know, bitch and slut are two different things!)

I know people at work are talking about it. You know how fast 'hot' thing like this spreads. Well, again, I am going to say I don't care. It's only a small matter to me. If she wants to hate me, just go on. That's her life. I won't hate her back, it will only shorten my life. If other people want to judge me, go right on, it's not my business. In the past I have been through harder times. I have been loathed at school for being a misguided and unloved child. So if people gonna hate me for standing up for myself, duh, how is that upsetting me? It will only boost my self-esteem and make me feel good about myself.

Regret it? Certainly NO! I won't go and try another apology again. I guess the damage has been done. Maybe in future she will not feel this angry anymore and thus comes around again but for now, all I can say is (again), I have done my part, I have nothing else to say or do.

**Aims, what you said is very true, the day we started to respect ourselves, that's the very day people started to hate us a lot! I guess that is what happening to me now.

...and I slapped her!

2009-01-14T19:47:00.011+08:00

It's hard when we don't like some things and people are being an ass by not respecting our wishes.

As for me, when people do the things I don't like unintentionally, I could gladly forgive them. However, if people do them purposely to see how I would react, I didn't know what exactly to do, until this afternoon.

One of the things that I don't like is my waist area to be poked. I find that very irritating because when people did it, I would spontaneously scream hysterically. It is also actually trigger my anger, I think people have no right to touch any part of my body without my permission. I have mentioned it to those people who (I don't know why) like to poke my waist, so that they know I DON'T LIKE IT and hence, stop from doing it.

Sadly, some of them didn't understand what 'I DON'T LIKE' means. How many times already I said I don't like they doing it to me, yet they still took the liberty to 'poke' me every time they have the chance.

Today I lost my patient. There is this girl at work who thinks she's people's favourite. For whatever her reason was, she's the one who poked me the most in the past 12 months. She passed me on the way to the canteen. Instead of saying hello or good afternoon like normal people, she poked me on my waist AGAIN! She must have been expecting I would hysterically scream so she could laugh and poke me more. She was wrong this time, I don't put up with anybody who don't respect me and my wish anymore. Enough is enough. My first thought was slapping her on her face and said DON'T but lucky her, my palm was smarter than my brain this time. I didn't slap her on her face, it was on her hand. But too bad, my mouth did it's own thing, I don't know why I said MOTHER FUCKER, YOU PERVERT to her. Honestly, I didn't plan it. She was like...huh...with her mouth in O shape for a few second. Her face turned red, she turned around and hurried away. Well.

When I went back to the office, a few of her friends approached me and asked what happened. I told them I swore at her and I'm not sorry. They said I should consider saying sorry to her because she was in a very bad shape. When I heard 'bad shape', it worried me a bit. I was scared if I gave a bruise on her hand. So I went to her and there she was, crying. No bruise on her hand, just tears. So I said 'I'm sorry'... and added '...but there will be more of that in future if people keep disrespecting me and my wishes.' She stood up and shouted at me in tears, 'I was just kidding leh..why you slapped me very hard like that? Some more in front of people!'

Bastard! There when it really started. She 'poke' me in front of people every time she got the chance and she thinks it's funny? Did she think I enjoyed it when I screamed hysterically and people looked at me as if I was some sort of crazy woman? I slapped her hand and swore at her ONCE... and she cried like a baby? What the hell?

*Sigh* I didn't want to make it look very ugly, we both are adult. So I said to her, 'Look, I said I'm sorry to you. I have warned you many times before this. You are aware that I don't like being poked, it is very humiliating to me. You never say or feel sorry for what you have been doing to me continuously for 1 year now... so suck in, I'm not going to say anymore than I'm sorry for slapping you hard.' I walked away after that.

I heard her saying 'bitch'. I didn't look back at her or say anything. I just smiled. Bitch or not bitch, I have done what I have to do and said what I have to say. I don't regret doing that to her (though I'm sorry I slapped her quite hard) and that would be the first lesson for those people who think they could make fun of me easily.

By doing that and sharing it here don't mean I am sending out a message that I am a person who like to 'collect enemies'. No, I am not. I love peace and harmony. I like everybody to be my friend. I just wanted to share that I am capable to hold my patient for a long time but when I think it is too much already, I will stand up for myself. Yes, of course I am still angry at her now but knowing myself so well, I know I can't stay mad for long. Maybe tomorrow I would want to say 'more' sorry and make up with her. I am that kind of person nowadays. For now, I'll just enjoy the fact that I finally stood up for myself and my wishes.

Spongebob was found in KL!

2009-01-13T00:33:00.003+08:00

Ha ha ha!

I found this at IsuHangat and thought I could share some laughter here.

Apology Accepted

2009-01-11T20:12:00.003+08:00

About my previous post, I can now officially put the issue behind and call it a history.

I received 3 phone calls today from the persons who made me lost my temper yesterday. Eventually my friends told them that I was upset with the issue they brought up and gave my number in case they feel like apologising to me. I'm not surprise they did, they all are educated people, they know what is the right thing to do.

For that, I praised them for having a courage to apology and asked for a chance to make it up for me. They admited it was a mistake on their part, they promise to be more sensitive about it in future. Alrighty. :-) That's a very nice thing to hear. They said they will only know I accept their apology if I am willing to lepak with them again next week. I think they are making a 'genuine apology' because they also mention everything will be on them. Wah lau eh! If this is the case, I will make us go to Starbucks! Oh, cannot lah. I just remember they are boycotting it now. Alamak. OKlah, usual place also can lah.

Meeting my dear friend, S, this afternoon was a real delight. She is still warm and cheerful like always. It's not easy for us to meet up these days, the distance really matter to us. I happened to pass her housing area this afternoon and thought I could use this chance to say hello. I was lucky she was available, so we decided to go to the nearest mall for lunch. I missed her a lot, she's one of the very good persons I've met in my life. I wish we could catch up more often. Thanks S, for making my day. Catching up with you is always fun!

Tiada beza antara kita

2009-01-11T00:53:00.023+08:00

Hati saya telah disakiti. Tak tahulah sama ada secara sengaja atau tidak, yang pasti, hati saya terasa amat sakit.

Begini ceritanya. Kelmarin saya cuma bekerja separuh hari, jadi separuh hari lagi saya luangkan untuk lepak bersama kawan-kawan. Kawan-kawan pula mengajak kawan-kawan mereka (saya tak kenal, baru first time jumpa). Kami pun mula berbual-bual kosong sambil menikmati minum petang. Macam-macam yang kami bualkan termasuklah kehidupan seharian, berat badan, beg tangan, kerjaya, kereta, pilihanraya di Terengganu dan isu semasa. Bila tiba bab isu semasa, saya mula tawar hati meneruskan perbualan selepas beberapa percubaan mencelah. Saya kemudiannya mengambil posisi 'aloof' tetapi tidak bertahan lama kerana provokasi terlalu kuat. Saya membayar harga minuman kemudian beredar balik ke rumah. Saya sakit hati.

Kenapa? Sensitif sangat ke? Jawapan saya ya, isu yang disentuh memang sensitif. Bagi saya, isu perkauman tidak perlu dibincangkan secara agresif. Sudah terang lagi bersuluh, ini memang isu yang sensitif. Saya anti perkauman. Saya tidak mengamalkan sikap perkauman. Saya menentang perkauman secara terbuka. Mungkin kawan-kawan kepada kawan-kawan saya tidak mengenali saya secara peribadi, itu saya maafkan mereka. Tetapi perbuatan mereka mencaci dan merendah-rendahkan kaum lain tanpa rasa bersalah, itu saya tidak boleh maafkan. Tidak sekali-kali. Kecuali, mereka merasa insaf dan menyedari sikap seperti itu merupakan resepi terbaik ke arah kehidupan huru-hara di Malaysia.

Seorang kawan kepada kawan saya mengutarakan pendapatnya tentang kempen memboikot barang-barang dan perkhidmatan Yahudi. Saya memahami tujuan asal kempen ini, saya juga tidak menyokong kejahatan dan keganasan yang dilakukan mereka. Bukan mereka sahaja, sesiapa yang membuat kejahatan, penindasan, pembunuhan, tidak kira lah siapa mereka dan apa alasan mereka, saya anti perbuatan mereka, bukan khusus kepada Yahudi sahaja.

Asalnya, saya tidak merasa berang dan sakit hati apabila kami menyentuh isu ini. Saya sendiri merasa tidak kisah meninggalkan Coca-cola kerana ia membahayakan kesihatan. Jika meninggalkan Coca-cola juga bermaksud saya mengatakan tidak kepada penzaliman, ya, mengapa tidak? Saya gembira melakukannya. Bila perbualan mula beralih kepada alasan yang lain iaitu isu kaum mereka, saya mula merasa resah. Seboleh-bolehnya saya tidak mahu topik perkauman timbul kerana saya tahu pendirian saya bagaimana, saya tidak mahu pertemuan kali ini berakhir dengan kekesalan. Terlambat, ia sudah terjadi.

Kawan kepada kawan-kawan saya mencetuskan api kemarahan saya dengan melontarkan pandangan berat sebelah terhadap suku kaum di Malaysia. Perkara yang tidak baik tidak perlulah diulang berkali-kali, jadi eloklah jika saya tidak menyatakan secara spesifikasi apa yang telah dia katakan. Selepas ini mereka tidak akan lagi saya alu-alukan ke mana-mana 'port' lepak saya dan kawan-kawan.

Betulkan saya jika apa yang saya katakan ini salah. Tanah ini milik mutlak Pencipta kita, bukannya kaum-kaum yang dulu tiba di sini daripada kaum yang lain.

So what jika mereka tiba di sini lebih awal daripada kaum lain? Sama seperti mereka yang tiba awal, tiba lambat di sini bukannya satu pilihan kerana kita semua cuma menjalani kehidupan mengikut rencana hidup yang telah tertulis untuk kita. Mengapa perlu ada pihak yang ingin 'membolot' kesemua ruang dan peluang di sini dan menidakkan hak orang lain, hanya kerana mereka tiba awal di sini?

Kawan kepada kawan-kawan saya tadi mula merepek tentang betapa seharusnya kaum mereka dihormati oleh kaum lain. Bagi mereka, kaum lain adalah 'pendatang' yang telah merampas dan mencabuli hak-hak istimewa kaum mereka. Tempat di universiti-universiti, peluang pekerjaan, peluang perniagaan, semuanya didominasikan oleh bangsa 'yang tidak sepatutnya'. Selayaknya mereka balik sahaja ke tempat asal mereka. 'Pendatang' ini cuma datang membuat kacau di sini. Ada juga mereka sentuh tentang kepercayaan agama 'pendatang' ini, mereka memberi satu istilah lain tapi maaf, saya rasa ia menjijikkan dan tidak mahu menulisnya. Di sinilah kemarahan saya mula berapi. Mungkin bagi mereka, itu adalah pandangan peribadi, lahir dari hati. Mungkin pada mereka itulah yang mereka dengar setiap hari, itulah yang mentaliti yang diterapkan kepada mereka oleh orang-orang yang berpengaruh dalam hidup mereka. Jika itulah kesnya, saya tidak lah boleh terlalu menyalahkan mereka, mereka adalah mangsa budaya malas membaca. Makan apa yang disuapkan sahaja. Dengar apa yang hendak didengar sahaja.

Apa yang membuatkan saya tersinggung ialah pilihan mereka untuk mengamalkan mentaliti seperti itu. Jika inilah yang mereka akan 'lagukan' dan 'syairkan' kepada murid-murid mereka di sekolah ataupun anak-anak mereka sendiri, bayangkanlah kesannya. Saya kemudiannya mencelah dan menyatakan pendirian saya...tapi mereka bersatu tenaga dan membidas saya bertubi-tubi. Mereka juga mengatakan saya juga 'bumiputera', saya sepatutnya sedar ancaman ini. Saya akhirnya berdiam diri, bukan kerana saya bersetuju dengan mereka dan mengkhianati pendirian saya, tetapi kerana saya tahu perdebatan ini tidak akan ke mana. Hati mereka sudah bulat, mereka telah mengambil keputusan untuk mempercayai kehadiran bangsa lain telah menggugat hak mereka. Mereka menyesali kehadiran bangsa yang lain di sini.

Ada beberapa perkara yang membuatkan saya berfikir panjang. Pertemuan singkat saya dengan kawan-kawan kepada kawan-kawan saya mungkin juga telah membawa faedah kepada diri saya sendiri. Saya belajar perkara baru hari ini iaitu aras tahap paranoia insan-insan yang berjiwa lemah. Mereka sentiasa takut kehilangan tempat, takut ketiadaan peluang, takut persaingan, takut kepada segala-galanya! Kerana itu mereka melihat orang lain sebagai ancaman kepada mereka. Well, jika sekalipun mereka tinggal di Malaysia hanya dengan kaum mereka sahaja, mahu tak mahu mereka terpaksa juga bersaing untuk mendapatkan apa-apa peluang. Tak kan ada mana-mana organisasi di dunia ini yang sudi mengupah seorang yang gagal dalam pelajaran, kecuali organisasi itu 'bapak dia punya.' Tak percaya, cuba tulis dalam resume, Latar belakang pendidikan: 'tidak pernah ke sekolah', 'gagal semester akhir di universiti' atau 'tidak menamatkan pengajian'. Saya percaya resume itu akan terus menjadi penghuni tong sampah. Pada waktu itu, siapakah yang mereka akan persalahkan? Sesama kaum mereka kerana ada antara mereka yang lebih baik? Organisasi tersebut kerana hanya menerima yang terbaik? Jika mereka mempunyai kualiti dan kepakaran, mengapa takut? Mengapa perlu melihat orang lain sebagai ancaman jika kita memang berkelayakan?

Berkenaan susur galur bangsa-bangsa di Malaysia, saya berpendapat tidak payahlah terlalu mengenangkan masa lampau. Sejarah memang penting untuk dihayati dan diingati kerana dengan berbuat demikian, kita akan sentiasa ingat akan peristiwa-peristiwa yang menyebabkan kita mempunyai apa yang kita ada sekarang. Namun begitu, ada juga peristiwa yang kita perlu tinggalkan sebagai satu 'sejarah' dan menerima kesan peristiwa tersebut dengan positif. Untuk apa kita memarahi keadaan sekarang dan melukakan hati kawan-kawan kita atas kejadian pada beberapa puluh atau ratus tahun yang lepas? Jika kita marah dan kesal sekalipun, semuanya sudah berlaku. Itu bukan tempat kita untuk memperbetulkan peristiwa itu. Apa yang patut kita lakukan ialah mencipta 'sejarah pada masa hadapan' dengan baik agar anak cucu keturunan kita tidak akan menanggung kesan buruk dan menyalahkan kita atas perbuatan kita sekarang. Dalam bahasa kasar, to the hell where was their origin because they are here now and they are going to stay! Mereka telah lahir di sini, membesar di sini, hidup di sini, membayar cukai di sini, bukankah itu sudah cukup untuk mereka layak memanggil tempat ini sebagai rumah mereka? Kecuali bagi kes tertentu seperti mereka yang 'berenang' dari negara mereka dan masuk melalui jalan tikus, mereka inilah yang sepatutnya dipanggil 'pendatang'. Jelas sekali mereka inilah yang perlu dikecam kerana telah mencabul kedaulatan undang-undang negara kita. Mereka inilah yang harus dihantar pulang dan dikenakan tindakan yang wajar kerana lambat laun mereka akan menjadi liabiliti kepada negara kita.

Kumpulan kawan-kawan kepada kawan-kawan saya itu saya lihat sebagai cakap tak serupa bikin. Betapa berapi-apinya mereka berkempen memboikot Yahudi atas perbuatan zalim mereka tapi sedihnya sejurus selepas itu, mereka tanpa segan silu 'menzalimi' orang lain pula. Mereka tidak terfikir kah, agama dan pendirian adalah pilihan tapi dilahirkan ke dalam sesuatu ras kaum adalah kerja Tuhan, itu bukan satu pilihan. Menindas kaum lain samalah juga seperti mempersoalkan kerja Pencipta kita. Satu hal yang saya tidak faham, mereka tidak kenal pun siapa insan-insan malang yang dizalimi oleh para penjahat Yahudi, tetapi merasa sangat kasihan terhadap mereka kerana insan-insan tersebut menganut fahaman yang sama dengan mereka. Apabila bercakap tentang 'hal dalam kain sendiri' pula, wah, bukan main menghina dan memperlekehkan bangsa lain. Kebencian nampak sangat terserlah bila bercakap tentang kaum yang tinggal sama dengan mereka. Apa semua ni? Sekejap kata Yahudi zalim lah, menindas lah, laknat lah, tapi diri sendiri juga bersikap seperti itu.

Saya berharap mereka ini (kawan-kawan kepada kawan-kawan saya) cumalah 'kes terpencil' sahaja. Saya tidak percaya di zaman moden di mana semua orang mendapat pendidikan yang setara, masih ada juga yang tidak memahami nilai bertolak ansur, hormat-menghormati dan toleransi. Come on lah, hidup ini singkat dan hanya sementara. Rugi lah kita jika kita habiskan hidup kita mencari beza antara kita. Tiada beza antara kita. Akhirnya kita semua akan mati dan balik kepada Pencipta kita. Apa salahnya kita 'buta warna' jika itu boleh menyebabkan kita hidup rukun tanpa sengketa.

Sekali lagi, saya benci perkauman. Saya benci orang yang mengamalkan perkauman dan bila saya lakukan itu, tidak bermaksud saya membenci bangsa mereka. Saya cuma membenci individu itu sahaja. Screw you racist!!!!

*Sigh* Sori, saya selalu marah-marah kat sini. Esok saya tulis cerita happy pula ya.

Membina Ayat

2009-01-10T00:22:00.010+08:00

Aduh...pening kepala. Kenapa agaknya mereka menugaskan saya mengajar kelas Bahasa Malaysia tahun ni. Sepanjang tempoh pengalaman saya mengajar, tidak pernah terfikir satu hari nanti saya akan diamanahkan mengajar kelas Bahasa Malaysia. Ni yang tengah pening ni. Baru seminggu sekolah bermula, belum lagi sepanjang tahun. Walaupun subjek ini merupakan subjek 'piece of cake' bagi saya pada zaman persekolahan dulu, mengajarkannya kepada murid-murid tidaklah semudah yang saya sangkakan. Semasa di kolej, saya tidak terpilih untuk mengambil BM sebagai major atau minor. Oleh itu, saya tidak mempunyai sebarang idea tentang metadologi subjek ini. Nampaknya saya kena mencari semula 'kitab-kitab' lama saya dan mengulangkaji subjek ini. Harap-harap guru-guru senior saya tak naik menyampah kerana saya perlu mengejar mereka ke mana-mana mereka pergi untuk mendapatkan ilmu mereka.

Saya mengutip kerja rumah bagi aktiviti membina ayat hari ini. Nak tahu? Hampir berdarah kepala ini saya garu walaupun tak gatal kerana ayat-ayat yang dibina oleh murid-murid saya sangat sukar. Maksud saya, untuk tahap first-timer seperti saya. Setakat ini, saya baru menyemak suku sahaja. Itupun setelah menghabiskan 3.5 jam membetulkan ayat-ayat mereka. Bagaimana agaknya saya nak habiskan menyemak kesemua buku mereka? Ini baru aktiviti bina ayat, belum lagi karangan. Saya tidak menyalahkan murid-murid saya. Sekurang-kurangnya mereka mencuba. Mungkin ini sudah boleh dikira baik bagi murid-murid di sekolah vernakular yang bertutur dalam bahasa ibunda mereka sepanjang masa.

Saya sertakan beberapa contoh ayat yang dibina oleh murid-murid saya. Ada yang menggelikan hati, ada yang tidak membawa sebarang maksud, ada juga yang membawa maksud yang dalam. Nak tolong saya betulkan? Selamat berjaya!

Bina satu ayat bagi setiap berkataan yang berikut:

FAEDAH
1. Burung itu memberi makan faedah.
2. Memakan buah-buah sangat faedah.
3. Bersukan faedah sendiri.
4. Ada faedah ada sendiri tahu.
5. Menabung faedah kepada kami.

SESUAI
1. Ben Hong sesuai dengan Alice. (Ben Hong adalah dirinya sendiri! Kes jatuh hati agaknya.)
2. Pakaian L sesuai untuk Calvin. (Ada Calvin dalam kelas saya. Dia bersaiz comel)
3. Ibu sesuai memasak kari.
4. Ada kasut sesuai kepada saya berwarna merah muda.
5. Geluncur air sesuai di taman.

AJAK
1. Ajak dan Ajik bermain PSP. (Aduh..pening)
2. Dia ajak ayam makan. ( Agaknya murid ini nak tulis peribahasa 'ajak-ajak ayam' atau nak ajak makan ayam)
3. Chee Meng suka ajak hari jadi.
4. Rumah ada ajak main. (uuuuhh..!)
5. Saya ajak adik ajak dia mahu.

KELUARGA
1. Keluarga kami erat.
2. Mama papa ada keluarga.
3. Abang keluarga bersama kakak saya.
4. Dia keluarga banyak susah.
5. Kepada saya sayang keluarga.

SERONOK
1. Bermain piano tidak seronok. (Mungkin mak murid ini paksa ambil kelas piano)
2. Bermandi laut cuti sekolah seronok.
3. Mei Su (Pendidikan Seni) saya seronok tetapi BI saya tidak. (Ayat jujur)
4. Ada wang ada seronok. (Mata duitan!)
5. Semasa cuti amat seronok, sekarang tidak seronok. (Ha! Ha! Yang ini saya setuju)

I feel good

2009-01-07T22:30:00.010+08:00

Being back at work is not that bad at all. I thought I wouldn't like it since I am getting comfortable being in the holiday mood.

I might actually have discovered something. I think I know why last year was so tense for me.

It was because I was in the morning session.

I'm not a morning person, I don't do anything at all in the morning but sleeping. I know this since I started going to school when I was still a kid, but I didn't know it could actually interfere my happiness. As a 'nocturnal' person, I function best at night. So, last year when I had to wake up at half past five every morning, it ruined my days. I was still half asleep when I drove to work, almost woke up when I started my class at 7 a.m, and finally woke up when when my Hang Tuah 3-in-one black coffee tricked my brain.

Ahh...it feels so good working in the afternoon session!

Everything is now agreeable with my body again. Some people like my mom and Monkey don't understand that 'nocturnal' doesn't apply only to those who live in the jungle, it applies to human as well.

OK, time is up. Time to trade on Forex now. Ciao!

First Day Back to School and My Shoes

2009-01-05T21:31:00.009+08:00

Back to work today. Everything is still not very organised but what best can we expect, it's only the first day of school for this year.

And yeeeeeehhhhaaaaa, I'm back to afternoon session!

Though, I miss my students in the morning session...and I'm sure they miss me too. I met a few of them today before they went back. Oh, well. I better not start talking about this, I'm afraid I would want to march to my PK1's room and ask her to put me back into the morning session.

For these first three days, I need to be at school one hour earlier. This is because we are having orientation for the new member of our family, the Year 1 pupils.

I wore my new heels today, the old ones are already worn out. Bloody Elle shoes, they gave me blisters on my feet. I had to take them off and walked to the parking lot because the blisters burst and started to bleed. Ouuucch, very painful! Damn you Elle shoes, now I have to spend more money on shoes. It reminds me, last year when I went shopping for shoes with my friend, E, she gave me a funny tip on shoes. She said if I want my shoes to bond instantly with my feet, I must bite them before I start wearing them. That way, I won't get blisters from new shoes. I laughed it out loud, she must be kidding. Who would do such thing, right? To my surprise, today my new colleague spontaneously told me that she thinks I won't get blisters if only I have bitten my new shoes before I wear them.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I was like...........errrhhh? What did you say?

She didn't laugh and announce it as a joke. Instead, she said, "you didn't know mah?" Then off she went.

OH!
MY!
GOD!

Please, someone out there, please tell me they were kidding me. Nobody bite their new shoes, right? There is no such thing, right?

I think the shoes only gave me blisters because I was being cheap. I have been eyeing them for quite a few months already but only bought them now that they have been transferred to the discount shelves.

But urrgh, I just can't believe there are actually people who bite their shoes for whatever reasons they believe.

Do you?

Better Malaysians

2009-01-04T22:05:00.012+08:00

I wasted my whole day today thinking if there is a best way I could teach my students at school on how to be better Malaysians. At the end of my thinking, I realised I actually don't need another best way to do it, indeed, what I'm doing now is already the best way to do it. All I have to do is to keep teaching them the value of honesty, love, equality and respect.

It seems like I need to emphasize on this a lot while I can because I will be leaving my job soon, I might won't get the chance to do it again in future. Someone has to make a change in this place I call home. Even one change will mean a lot to our future nation.

Why do I think we need a change? Try to follow the politic games in Malaysia and read our national newspaper everyday, you'll understand it. I've been doing it for the past 7 years and guess what, I get very sick of it! I feel so sick that I might want to consider to stop from reading newspapers or watching local news updates on tele. Almost all papers I read every morning are reporting craps and lies. Some even publish provoking writing. Try to ignore it and turn to another page and viola, craps on celebrities! Next topic could be about Mawi and Ekin (sickening!), Siti Nurhaliza or Norman Hakim. What the hell? What did they do to deserve a space in my morning papers? Good thing these days the Internet creates us other alternative for news resources. I feel good to know that there are still people out there who really care to report the correct news and events happening in our place.

There are many other things that are very sickening and need to be changed in Malaysia. Beside the dirty and unfair politic games, the typical people's mind disgusts me the most. Of course I can't change the corrupt mind of our politicians but it's not too late yet to guide our future leaders and instill good values in them, unlike our existing corrupt ones. Not only politicians, common people like me also need to change our attitude. I don't know about other people but to me, it's not easy to live together with my fellow Malaysians. Not because Monkey said I'm a weirdo but because I find we Malaysians like to insult one another...and the worst part is, we don't feel ashamed of doing it!

One little example, how come people can be so freely judging individuals on the basis of their ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, gender, accent, physical or mental disability in here? How come people don't feel ashamed addressing their friends as 'my Malay, Chinese, Indian, Iban, Kadazan friends'? Do they really have to MENTION the ethnic background of their friends? Racist, that's all I can think of. Why can't we address our friends as 'my friends', regardless of whoever and whatever they are? I get very offended when I hear people are referring someone act by condemning his or her race. That is not right, man. Try this:

" I'm not surprise. That is a common (__________) behaviour."

" Dasar (______________)! Pergi jahanam kau (_____________) baju aku banyak iklan." (get it?)

" Stupid (_____________)!)

(___________!!)

Now, fill in the blanks with races in Malaysia. Don't you find they are common things uttered by the Joe at the street?

I mean, really, why can't we address our disappointments directly to the person who did the wrong doings instead of referring it to his/her race? Didn't we learn at school that everybody has a name? He/She did not represent everybody who shares the same race as his. Don't, DON'T ever do that, people!

I plead to my Malaysian fellows, let us change our mentalities. We need to change the way we think in order for us to live together peacefully in our country. I don't believe you people are comfortable being subjugated because of your ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, gender, accent, physical or mental disability. Let us treat everybody equally. After all, we are part of human family, why do we want to ridicule others when we are exactly just like them? Open our eyes and mind, we can think differently. We don't have to be obligated and blindly follow those traditional mind set we inherited from our ancestors. We are living in a different generation now, we can choose to be better Malaysians.

Together we can make the change.

I forgot I was Tagged by Christine last year

2009-01-04T03:25:00.015+08:00

Opps, I did it again!

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down song name NO MATTER HOW silly it sounds.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal / blog.

I am too lazy to start my WMP so I use my music player in my mobile phone.

1. If someone says, “Is this okay?” … you say?
Hain Jasli ~ Nokuro (Why?)

Me : Ha ha ha! That was funny.

2. How would you describe yourself?
Jimmy Basinau ~ Mirinda Susah Dilepaskan

Me : Ha ha ha! Even funnier. I listen to the song and laugh hysterically. Seriously, maybe that's how I describe myself in the past. I'm thankful I have got over it. I'm a better person now, fat but healthy. Ha ha. The song starts more or less like this (Translated from Dusun language) ~~

There was this girl,
she was an alcoholic,
Boy, it's not easy to let it go,
isn't it?

She was also a smoker,
always seen inhaling smokes,
Boy, it's not that easy to quit it,
isn't it?

The doctor advised her,
she would be better if she stopped it,
For it's a hard fact,
Smoking and drinking could harm her health,
When it happen, there will be no cure.

(And there are more....)

3. What do you like in a boy?
Amy Search ~ Srikandi Cintaku (My love warrior ~ I know, doesn't make sense)

Me : I like a tall and skinny boy, so that he won't be able to bully me because I always have something to pick on him. Besides, it'll make it easier for me to blow him away in all argument. Ha ha! If you didn't know, Monkey was really thin when we first met. I never succeed blowing him away though, he always managed to grab on something to hold on when I did it. Lol!

4. How do you feel today?
Unknown Singer ~ Zero-zero Kayu Balak (Missing Timbers)

Me : I feel lonely. I miss my siblings.

5.What is your life’s purpose?
Unknown Singer - Imagine Me Without You

Me : Uncertain. I live my life one day at a time now. I feel sad about it. I don't have a clue anymore what should I aim in my life. Everything I have in my hand seems like to slip beyond my control. My only hope is to start a new life in Australia soon. Somewhere without my past and familiar place or face. Hopefully I'll find a meaningful life purpose in there.

6. What is your motto?
Unknown~Sape acoustic.

Me : Do what you can today because tomorrow never comes.

7. What do your friends think of you?
Keane ~ Somewhere Only We Know

Me : I don't care. I'd like them to keep it to themselves.

8. What do you think of your parents?
Ronan Keating ~ If Tomorrow Never Comes

Me : Divorce freaks, full of drama.

9. What do you think about very often?
Wow Worship ~ Above All

Me : How to undo the tangles in my life. Make everything straight, easy and simple.

10. What is 2 + 2?
Wow Worship ~ Give Thanks

Me : Easy.

11. What do you think of your best friend?
Modern Talking ~ Brother Louie

Me : She's a good person, understanding and funny. She's like a sister to me.

12. What do you think of the person you like?
Coldplay ~ Yellow

Me : Responsible and loving.

13. What is your life story?
Scorpions ~ Wind of Change

Me : It's wild, you don't want to know.

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Unknown Dusun Singer ~ Z Tendu Talawa (Beautiful Girl)

Me : Yes, I want to be beautiful.

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Sean Kingston ~ Beautiful Girls

Me : Ha ha ha ha ha!

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Atama ~ Sumazau

Me : That's right. That's what I danced at my wedding.

17. What will they play at your funeral?
Abba ~ Thank You For The Music

Me : Good one.

18. What is your hobby/interest?
Cake ~ I'll Survive

Me : Can't make survival as a hobby. LOL. My hobby is singing.

19. What is your biggest fear?
Ella ~ Rama-rama (Butterfly)

Me : No, I like butterfly. I'm scared of leech.

20. What is your biggest secret?
Abba ~ I Do, I Do, I Do

Me : No, I don't want to tell my biggest secret.

21. What do you think of your friends?
Amy Winehouse ~ Rehab

Me : Lol! I do think some of my friends need to go to rehab.

22. What will you post this as?
Britney Spears ~ Opps, I did it again

Me : Typically me!

So Long 2008, Welcome 2009!

2009-01-01T22:07:00.014+08:00

Year 2008 has ended. So long 2008, welcome 2009.

It was not exactly an easy year for me. Most nights in 2008 I cried myself to bed. I can say it was among the toughest years in my life so far. There were quite a few things I wish I didn't say or do. There were also many things I wish didn't happen to me and my family.

Seeing that last year, I always had something bad to say on everything, could it be because I am one unhappy person? Or could it be because I am just a plain cry baby? Or both? Gosh, these sound so pathetic. Or am I?

A very close friend once mentioned her concerns about me. She thinks I am quite a pessimistic person. She also said I worry a lot. Ya, that one I agree with her. Although, I must say I did put a fair amount of effort to look at the bright side when situations occurred in my life. So, I can safely say I am not a total pessimist. I don't see myself like that. I always believe things happen for reasons, they can't just purposely happen to hurt me. It can't be. It against the nature.

Most of my problems and dilemmas have been hanging around me forever. They have been tailing me all my life. They have long started since my childhood. It's just that things are getting unruly and beyond acceptable this year.

If I were to play the hideous blaming game again, I would put all the blames to the way I was raised back then. Thanks to all the motivational books and wise advices from many people I've met throughout the journey of my life, I don't do that anymore. If I've ever learnt anything, I've learnt to give up blaming people for those catastrophes and violence that robbed my happiness. So, instead of getting angry as usual, I cried a lot. Now, please don't judge me for being a girl, okay?

Maybe one day in future, with substantial amount of patient, I will understand how all these become significant to my life. At the moment, they are still mysteries, they don't make any sense to me at all. This coming year, I hope time will be on my side, so together we can unlock the mysteries of life, especially mine.

Welcome 2009! No more tears please, Midget. Smile..think positive..happy..get slim, exercise!

Adios 2008. Cheers for coming.

Please smack me on my head

2008-12-21T23:29:00.010+08:00

Right. At the moment, I hate myself so much. During this long holiday, if I am not eating, I must be spending money at the mall. I have successfully doubled my size and almost finish all my cash in bank. I was about to use my credit card today in the mall. Thanks god the customer in front of me got panicked because all her cards were unable to use. She was all pink and blue, searching every dollar and coins in her Guess handbag. That's when I came to my sense. It could happen to me too if I keep spending like nobody's business!

I went home, feeling guilty to myself and Monkey. I fully understood we don't grow money on trees, we work very hard to earn it. Not because we are underpaid, in fact, our household monthly income is way better than average family in my kampung. However, we always think we don't have enough until the next pay day. We always play this blame game; who's spending more money every month.

To Monkey, it must be me...because I am the one who make shops as my second home. Whereas to me, it must be Monkey because he smokes like a chimney and drinks like a fish. Everybody knows a pack of 20 sticks cigarette now cost almost ten bucks. Two or three packs a day is easy for him. A long neck beer can cost from 11 bucks to 15 bucks a bottle. 6 to 7 bottles a night is a must for him. So, it must be him, not me. At the end of our argument, I always win. Not because he agrees with me, it's because he's easy. For those who don't know me, please don't think that I am good at 'producing' crocodile tears. For the record, I am very bad at it. I can't fake a cry. I have tried before and guess what, Monkey knew it, he laughed at me. I won only because he loves me and he doesn't want to fight with me. Well, that's what he said to me.

Now that I have mentioned about me hating myself, why not I give more details about it. Today when I drove home from the mall, I was thinking was it really me who spent unwisely? I was thinking, thinking, thinking, and thinking...and finally I realized,ya,Monkey was right. It was me, not him!

You see, I have this silly need to visit shopping malls EVERY DAY. Unlucky for me, there is a shopping mall right behind my house. It's only a walking distance. I pass it every day from work. When I go to the mall, I like to see what people are selling. I like to know what is new in there. My nose likes the smell of the bakery and coffee shop. My ears like the loud sound coming from the CD shop. My eyes like to feast at the fresh flowers at the flosrist's. The worst thing is that my nose is addicted to the smell of the money that just come out from the ATM. It has got a smell that you can't find anywhere but from the ATM. If you don't believe me, go withdraw some money from the ATM and smell it. Then, try to find the smell from other place, see if you can find it. I am crazy, right?

The other thing is, I hate walking out from the shopping mall without a full loaded trolley or at least a shopping bag. Be it a small hand lotion or a stupid brooch, as long as they are in the shopping bag, it'll make my day. Now, that is the real problem with me.

After doing some counting, I realized I am the culprit of this always-no-money issue at home. I bought all those unnecessary things EVERY DAY. Example, a pack of vegetable that I know will end up at my garbage bag in three days time, a live-in Redken hair treatment that I never use, 4 brooches that don't match any of my work attire, and so on and so forth. I spent on things we don't need. I'm sure the money have better place in our saving account. Instead, I deposited them into the mall's cash register. Stupid me. Why didn't I realize this all these time? Gosh, I really feel bad about it, specially after all those hard times I gave to Monkey.

Enough hanky-panky for me. Today I decided I can't take control of my own money anymore. Thus, I withdrew all money from my bank account and put it into Monkey's bank. I have surrendered all my credit card to Monkey to be cut into pieces. No more plastic money in my purse. From now on, I will be collecting daily allowance from Monkey. I feel sorry to myself that I don't trust me anymore when it comes to money. It shouldn't be like this. I used to be very good at money management. I don't know what have happened to the girl who survived on 500 bucks monthly for six years in college. I want to find that girl in me again. Someone simple and very moderate on spending. I can't let this bad attitude changes me into someone we don't know.

Arghh!! I hate myself! Please, feel free to smack me on my head!

Warkah untuk Kasih (Updated)

2008-12-21T02:17:00.003+08:00

(I put myself in my mum's shoes and this is what I came up with. I dedicate this to my mum's husband. I wish one day he would understand women have feelings too. We women deserve to be loved and protected, not beaten and betrayed.)

PERGILAH KASIH

Helaan nafasmu semakin menipis,
Kasih, pergilah segera!

Aku bukan meminggiri mu
Aku tidak mengalpaimu
Tidak pernah menafikanmu
Aku sekadar berdiam diri
Memahami batas sempadan pilihan kita
Kasih pergilah segera
bicara ini kita habisi di sini

Kuhimpun sepuluh jari
Kuhulur salam kemaafan
andai ini bisa meruntun hati lelaki mu

Kasih, ia telah lama berakhir
Sungguh,
tiada lagi kamu dalam hatiku
yang ada cuma ingatan pahit
ada kala bertukar benci
ada kala bertukar simpati

Pergilah kasih,
Pergilah segera!
Tiada apa untukmu di sini
Tebarkan lah sayapmu dan terbanglah.

Nikahilah dia, kasihi dirinya
Tatanglah dia dengan penuh
Jangan diulang kesilapan dulu
Kelak menjadi kudis sekali lagi

Pergilah kasih, pergi segera!

She who doesn't like Mawi-Ekin goes to bed

2008-12-21T01:11:00.007+08:00

Bad title but I loike~!

Of all local celebrities, I don't like them. Not because they are the most popular people (at the mo), but because their wedding news are all over the place ~~ TV, Internet, radio, newspaper, magazines...my good god, what the hell! Hello? Who are these people? How many times did they made our country proud, or saved us from anything dangerous out there? I mean, really, Mawi is not even good at what he is doing.

Hey, I'm not saying they are bad people. Not like that. It's just, urgh, why do TV people need to talk about Mawi and his known-not-so-good bride when the only thing I need to watch on the tele is something descent? Can't they air it some other time when I'm not watching tele? Same goes when I try to read digital newspaper and listen to my online radio. Come on digital newspaper and online radio people. You have something else to talk about right? How can you not bored talking about the same topic all the time?

I'm sorry Mawi-Ekin for having to say all these. As you may have already knew, not everybody likes us. That's a fact. In this case, I don't like the both of you. Don't take it too hard, it's only normal. There are many others out there who don't like you too. Yes Mawi-Ekin, I know you never did me any wrong, it's just that you failed to give me the impression that you people are true to yourselves and those who you call your 'music industry followers'.

Anyways, anyways, whatever it is, it won't stop me from wishing you congratulation on your wedding. Good luck, may you success in your marriage. Please, I beg you, no more continuation on your 'wedding hit' news. I need all the correct and beneficial information on the front page of our newspapers, not gibberish. You want to go for honeymoon or whatever you want to do, keep it to yourself, it's none of all Malaysian's interest. Blog it if you have to but please, no more talking about it everywhere. Thank you.

Of course I will never, ever like you but I'm still a good human being, I truthfully wish you love and happiness. Never get involved in those ugly mess like divorce, OK? Otherwise, crap stories will be everywhere on the medias again.

With that, she who doesn't like Mawi-Ekin goes to bed.

My midget world

2008-12-19T04:30:00.005+08:00

Now, Monkey has stopped calling me 'short midget' ('coz I'm only half of his height) . Instead, he changed it to 'short and fat midget'.

Short. Fat. Midget.

Those words don't get along very well, if you know what I mean. They are good for referring a man, but not a woman. Although he usually added 'my lovely' in front of those 'short and fat midget' but nooooooo, I don't want it!

Must get rid of the word 'FAT' there. Never mind the short and midget, it's something the man above fixed for me, not something I ate. I could stand on a big rock when we take photo of us, crop it later and problem solved. I'd be as tall as Monkey in the photo. Ya, sure, there is this thing called AIRBRUSH, it does magic on photos....but boy, being fat is not only about looks in photos. It's also about being FAT in real life.

The most bothering about being fat is having to buy new Levi's for my new big butt. I hate wearing the same denim all the time...so, obviously it will cost me arms and legs. *Sigh* Didn't I promise I won't spend money thoughtlessly anymore?

FAT, I hate you. Let's fight now!

Why am I not thin?

2008-12-19T03:39:00.011+08:00

Because I eat late at night. I must eat before I go to bed. Otherwise, I won't be able to sleep. Even if I managed to trick myself to sleep, nightmares await me. I will feel very hungry and don't have enough power to do whatever I am doing in my dream, like (manually)delivering twins, raising triplets, attacking demons and building a colourful cookie castle. Weird, right? But that's what I usually get in my dreams.

You see, sometimes I couldn't do them because I was hungry. Therefore, I had to ask Monkey to help me. Most of the time he didn't like it, specially the (manually) delivering twins bit. It made us fight in my dream...and that is considered as another nightmare. You haven't seen Monkey fighting me in my dream...and you don't want to picture it. That's why I need to go to bed with a full stomach.

OK. Enough craps.

Man! I hate my mouth and stomach. Because of them, now I have to live with this huge jelly on my belly. Jelly belly. Yewkk! That's gross. This jelly belly is gross!

If there is anything I am good at, it's EATING. Unfortunately, it comes with side effects (apart from jelly belly) like getting very large thighs and double chin. Ya, that's me. From 47 to 52. Then 54, 57, 59, 60....and recently 63! Man.. am I in trouble? Yes I am. YES, I AM.

I must suck up all the good energies around the town tomorrow so I have enough to start fighting food.

(Fighting food?) Sorry, I take that back.

Not fighting food, I should say fighting myself.

However, my friendship with food should be seriously revised soon. Maybe I should look around for new friends...like exercising? Or fasting? Or balance diet?

Or would it be a sin if I secretly get those slimming pills and stuff?

Jelly belly. Urgh!

What will we get when we shower a dog?

2008-12-18T01:34:00.005+08:00

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Viola!

A happy-clean-dog!

Jazzy: "Indeed. Check me out."

Missing Xmas item

2008-12-18T00:15:00.004+08:00

Xmas Dress - checked

Xmas Shoes - checked

Xmas Hair - checked

Xmas Fun Plan - checked

Xmas Cookies - checked

Xmas Cake - eeeerrrmmm... emmmm...

O'ow.

Xmas cake is missing!!

My mother-in-law has baked us Xmas cake. Monkey brought it home with him from OZ. We planned to make it last until Xmas but apparently it became a big hit and gone missing the very next day it 'arrived' here.

I think I did mention in my previous post that I have bought a new cooker. Sure, I can play with it by baking Xmas cake. The problem is, I need it to have the exact taste like one Mum Barbara baked. Otherwise, Monkey wouldn't enjoy it. And hell ya, I wouldn't enjoy it too. I really doubt I could bake one like her cake. My first two chocolate cakes were far from OK, they are still in my fridge. Nobody wants to eat them, which is not surprising.

Now, I don't expect myself to bake something like Mum Barbara's Xmas cake. I can't bake a cake by just looking at it's photo and remembering the taste. Or can I? So how ah? Should I ask her secret recipe and try it, or should I just order one from the bakery shop near my house? But will it taste and look like this one?

Hmmm... hmmm.. I don't know. I'll think about it tonight.

Laters.

10 things I don't wanna do anymore...

2008-12-17T20:55:00.005+08:00

1. Being a cry baby

2. Nagging on my students

3. Saying no to booze..(evil laugh!)

4. Making eating as a pleasure

5. Spending money thoughtlessly

6. Stop exercising

7. Napping four hours a day

8. Waking up very late but still arrive work on time. Make-up? Don't ask.Horrible.

9. Complaining on having to mark 300 over exercise books, DAILY.

10. Forcing Monkey to do anything he's not willing to do.

.....but how ahh...?

11th December

2008-12-11T13:52:00.010+08:00

If I were to choose my own name, I would name myself Gretchen or Daniella. But I didn't have the privilege to do so since I was just a hopeless little baby when I was born. I had no choice but to give the benefit of doubt to my parents to choose one for me.

According to my mama, long before I was born, they have been finding a name for me. My bapa's first choice was Ernawati.

When I first heard it, I was like, "freak..!! Ernawati? What the..!"

So I must thank my mama for fighting not to give it to me. Imagine me signing myself as Ernawati. No offence to any Ernawati in this world, I just don't see myself bonding with that name. Ever.

Then, they wanted to name me Erna. It must have been thought to be the final decision because most of my aunties and uncles who don't live with us or around us call me with that name. Some of them even spell my name as 'Erna'. It's OK by me, Erna doesn't sound too bad to me. Just, don't put the Wati together with it. Eeeew!! Anyways. Suddenly my bapa came up with a last minute idea to name me after my aunt Erin. Actually, I don't see much of her as an aunt figure. Plus, I've never been closed to her.

She's my bapa's first cousin. The first daughter in his uncle's family. Still count as a close relative lah. Her father is my grandmother's only brother. Back then, my bapa's family was extremely poor. To make things worst, his father had this different ideology that drove people away from their family. Some said it made people hated his whole family. Oh well. Better not to start on that one. My point is, I have no wonder why my bapa wanted to name me after his cousin. It was very hard for him and his siblings to breath under his father's roof. Lucky his uncle and cousins always came to their rescue. To my bapa, his uncle is his idol. He respects him more than his own father. Hence, for his own reasons, he wanted his first child to be named after his uncle's daughter.

Again, my mama fought not to name me exactly the name of my bapa's family members. She knew if he could do it easily, then chances are all her children will be named after all my father's family members. Good move on that one, ma. Long story short, they decided to get somewhere between where everybody won. That's why today my name is Erina. Something familiar to my bapa and something not exactly the name of my bapa's cousin to my mama. Choosing a name for me must had been one hideous job my parents had to do. They probably had a few small fights here and there. Thus, 'Erina' to me means something agreeable to my parents. Not exactly the name that I fond but well, it means a lot to my parents.

This 'naming me' event took place 27 years ago, sometimes before the 11th of December.

Today 11th December comes again. My mum gave me RM150 this morning. Yaii! Knowing my mum, it must took her a lot of "good mood" for giving away that much money with no string attached! So I assume, to her, remembering and celebrating this day must be very important. It's more than just the date of my arrival into this world or the day they finally have a name for me. This to her is also the date she started a new life as a mother. The day her first love arrived in this world. I'm sure she treasures every moment of the memory happened 27 years ago on this particular date. Good for her.

Me? It doesn't really matter to me. I usually forget what kind of occasion I should celebrate on this day. This time, I think I will just enjoy my free RM150. I want to use it to buy a new cooker so I can make cookies and cakes during my holiday. This is where my sister-in-law's present for me comes very handy. She gave me a beautiful cooking book. Very thick and colorful. Hah! I should start on the cakes chapter! Mmmmmm..chocolate cake...mmmmm..! Alright. Gotta go to shop now and spend my RM150.

Before I go, I'd like to say thanks to my friends, family and parents in law for wishing me joy and happiness. Emily gets the credit to be the first one to wish me well. Meanwhile, 1010, Djue, Zue and Emma...you people are in trouble. I know I said this day doesn't really matter to me but I didn't say it doesn't matter that you people don't remember it!

LOL. Are you scared now?

In this life...

2008-12-07T14:57:00.012+08:00

Sunday, my favourite day!

It's rather a quiet day today. Since I am in a long holiday, I do nothing but jamming my butt on this comfy chair and get my eyes even more square than before. Square eyes! Ya, that's me. I've been staring on my lappy screen since the start of the school holiday. By the time I have to get back to work, I bet my round face will be changed into square shape too. Scary.

Hmmm...not much I could share here today after the long rant on my last post. I'm really sorry you have to read that. Since I have posted it, I think I'll just leave it there. I won't retract it, something for me to look back next time.

Anger. That's what I have in me every time I think of that particular issue. I don't mean to discredit anybody for living the life they choose for themselves. I got angry because they make their loved ones get involved in their personal affair. They make everybody who are linked to them in the name of 'family' doomed by their bad decisions. The unfairness, that's what makes me fume. Oh, well. Don't worry too much, Midget. Everything will be alright. You'll deal with the anger soon or later. For now, just enjoy it. Having a half-brother (or half-sister?) and step mother (again) maybe is not that bad after all, specially when there is a plan they are going to join in the same household with the other wife. TV drama? No..., even better! I'm talking about real life. Our life! So, hhhmmmmmmmmm...

Maybe I make fuss on this thing too much already. Maybe I'm too emotional. Other people are living a life harder than mine, yet they don't complain. Just then, someone close to me told me a sad story about this one family I know. Comparing my problem to their problem, it is much more minor than what they are going through. Losing a beautiful wife over a selfish mistake in the past is really a sad, sad thing to live with in life. True, life and death is in the hand of God. It won't happen without His consent and therefore, I have no right to question the life and death of a human. Although, I could use the value from the story to be adopted into my personal life, so that I'll always remember to be thoughtful in every decision I make. God bless that family. My heart goes to the small children who have lost their mother in such a young age.

Rumour has it that the head of the family has been infected with a deadly contagious disease. He then infected it to his wife. Rumour has it too that their small children have been infected too (my heart crashed when I heard this..poor children). How he got it at the first place, it's none of our business, so hence I won't mention anything about it. The wife has gone now. It already happened. Nobody could do anything about it anymore. What left is a miserable life to live on. They like it or not, they have to live with it. All I can say is I'm sorry this horrible disaster happen to them. I'm not discrediting them, far away from judging them. I'm just trying to tell myself that I should not moan too loud about the pain I am feeling. Others are suffering from life too, I'm not the only one. In fact, who doesn't?

Hmm, I smell something nice in the air. It must be my mum's chicken porridge. Gotta go and save some before my hungry bro finishes it all! Ha ha! He is home for a short holiday. You should see his severe sun burn from his training. Poor boy. He had to 'mow' his hair too. Now he looks like a bandit, specially with the car accident scars on his face. 7 more months and I'll have to say 'Aya'i Sir!' every time he say anything to me. So, I better make use all the chances to tease him before he gets his personal gun!

Where was I before? Ahh... chicken porridge! Here I come...

Ya Antah!

2008-12-06T02:09:00.010+08:00

Kan? Boring bah kalau balik-balik kita jak yang mengalah. Sikit-sikit kena berdiam diri dan bersabar. Apa-apa hal, mesti kita saja yang mau bersikap positif. Sebelah pihak tu tau perasaan dia jak. Masalah dia ja yang penting. Semua masalah dia mesti konon berpunca dari orang lain. Tiadalah yang berpunca dari diri dia sendiri. Bosan!

Dari dulu sampai sekarang enda lah pernah habis-habis drama dia ni. Lepas satu, satu lagi datang. Bejurut-jurut pula tu. Kalau enda libatkan orang, enda pa lah. Ini, orang yang tidak kena mengena pun kena tempias drama dia juga. Benci! Sampai bila lah konon mo macam ni? Sorang ja yang makan nangka, semua orang pun kena getah dia. Orang yang kena getah tu perlu diam-diam, bersikap sabar dan positif pula tu. Kalau enda, tambah susah hidup. Apa semua ini? Aduiiii... pening kepala orang!

Enda pa lah, ini drama yang last sudah sia mo layan. Lepas ni gerenti ada lagi drama seterusnya tapi sorilah, sia cakap awal-awal ni, sia enda mau layan punya. Cukuplah drama selama 27 tahun, kenyang sudah sia. Bukan sia inda peduli, tapi cukup sudah kesabaran sia. Sia pun ada kehidupan yang sia perlu jalani. Sia enda mau sudah biar perkara-perkara bodoh menyekat kehidupan sia. Biarlah sia hidup dengan dunia sia sendiri. Bodoh ja sia bagi ruang dalam hidup sa melayan benda-benda talingung macam tu. Susah bah. Sia enda tau sudah macam mana mau tolong. Dia tanya, mana satu yang bagus; makan tai kah, makan berak? Sia jawab, please lah, apa punya soalan tu? Tai sama berak kan sama saja, nama ja lain. Dia cakap, OK, so ko suggest sa makan apa? Sa jawab, makanlah nasi. Mee goreng kah, mee sup kah, yang biasa orang makan. Buat apa ko pilih mo makan antara berak dan tai? Lepas faham tai dan berak tiada bezanya, dia pun berpuas hati. Tau-tau enda lama kemudian dia balik, dia beteriak-teriak, moguhod, kunun tiada orang yang peduli dia kenyang temakan tai. Sigh. Buduh kah tidak buduh tu?

Kali kali pun macam tu. Orang sudah cakap jangan makan tai, jangan makan berak, itu juga yang dia cari. Sudah kenyang, balik pi mengamuk sama orang. Kalau mengamuk bukan alang-alang lagi tu. Sampai pengsan orang dia pukul. Sampai pecah satu rumah dia belah. Itu belum masuk telinga orang berdarah berkudis dengar sumpah caci makian dia. Bila kena jawab, dia declare war. Selagi dia tidak menang, selagi tu lah perang berlarutan. Bukan main main oh, sampai bawa pi balai polis lagi. Satu ja cara mo kurangkan tekanan, buat-buat bersalah jak lah. Akun saja kita yang palui, kita yang menyusahkan hidup dia. Positif ja sepanjang masa. Sekarang sudah 27 tahun. Masih lagi jadi punching bag. Punching bag isi simen pun kalau kena belasah sampai 27 tahun, mesti sudah lunyai. Belum sampai setahun kali, sudah lunyai. Ini kan pula manusia.

Ya antah lah, sa sudah naik bosan! Memang susah betul bah ni. Mo kasi tinggal macam tu jak pun enda sampai hati juga. Enda mo kasi tinggal, sengsara sendiri pula. Antah lah!

Sekarang dia sudah temakan tai yang paling besar! Bukan sekadar besar, tai tu beracun lagi. Keteh! Kere! Purimono! Tu lah, telinga ada kasi sama kuali. Sekarang baru dia rasa. Sekarang baru dia mo menyesal, rupanya memang betul orang cakap tai sama berak memang dua benda yang sama! Mo menyesal pun tiada guna sudah. Berak sudah kembali menjadi berak. Nah kau, geram betul sia. Sampai hal macam ni pun, masih lagi blame orang lain. Kononnya pasal orang lain lah perkara buduh macam 'neketian' terjadi sama diri dia. Feck off lah. Mana ada orang suruh dia taru burung dia dalam sangkar orang, terang-terang itu tindakan dia sendiri. Lagi mau tuduh-tuduh orang. Kerana hal ini dan hal itu lah konon dia sampai buat onar macam tu. Sewel kah apa ni orang? Dia yang sedap-sedap main burung, tau-tau bila betelur, kita pula punya salah. Pui! Buduh bin bangang orang ni tau. Nasib sia inda noturunan gen sewel dia.

Ni yang lagi kuat semangat sa mo lari dari pomogunan diolo. Apa guna melayan hidup yang beserabut. Sia tinggal sini pun, hidup sa inda gembira. Sia balik tempat diorang, lagilah sia inda happy. Masalah yang bukan sia punya pun sa kena ikut tanggung. Kalau inda ikut, derhaka. Gini punya hidup siapa yang tahan? Bagus sia membawa diri. Sia mau elak banyak benda yang sia sudah nampak they're coming in future.

Bulat sudah hati sia, tiada lagi sia mau terlibat dalam drama makan tai ni. Bukan sia enda sayang diorang, sia sayang. Tapi sia penat sudah bah living a life like this. I deserve to live my own life, the one that I choose for myself. After all, I don't owe them a life. I may owe them love and money but not my life. I can't let them hold my life for long anymore. I've got to go and make the fullest of this short life. Kalau sepanjang hidup sia biar diri sia terperangkap dalam drama makan tai ini, memang sah sia ada mewarisi gen bangang diorang. Soripalis. Palis-palis!

Apapun, sia tidak akan tinggalkan tangan-tangan yang sentiasa bersama sia, menyelamatkan sia dari kecaman si pemakan tai. I'll always be there for them, walaupun dari jauh. Right now sia rasa sangat hipokrit. Dulu sia selalu janji-janji my love for them is unconditional but the truth is, it is very conditional. Yup, hipokrit kan? Kalau dulu sia percaya one day everything will be alright, sekarang tidak lagi. It's a patern, it's a fate, it's a destiny, nobody can change it. Don't even think to suggest praying coz that's what we've been doing for the past 27 years. Pastor pun ada cakap, tidak semua doa dan permintaan ditunaikan. Ada doa yang sebenarnya telah dijawab tapi kita tidak menyukai jawapan itu lalu kita tidak menerima itu sebagai jawapan, sebaliknya terus berdoa, meminta dan berharap. In my case, sia sudah tau apa jawapan doa sia...but I hoped He would change His mind about it. Well, for 27 years now He didn't change it, so I guess that's it. I have to swallow the big words SUCK IN quietly. I mean, after this when I finish marah-marah.

Adeiii...memang pening betul kepala sia sekarang ini. Ada juga perasaan malu sama masyarakat. Sepatutnya di lewat usia manusia semakin bijak dan disegani. Menjadi tempat rujukan orang muda. Tapi ada juga manusia yang semakin tua semakin pelik. Bukan menjadi tempat rujukan, jadi bahan umpatan pula. Mungkin bagus juga, berpeluanglah orang kampung menggunakan peribahasa 'tua tua keladi, makin tua makin menjadi', 'bagai mencurah air ke daun keladi', 'menconteng arang ke muka', 'cakap tak serupa bikin'... dan apa-apalah peribahasa yang diorang fikirkan sesuai.

Yang betul-betul bikin panas hati sia sekarang, sia yang baru kawin ni lah yang sepatutnya sibuk mo beranak. Sia yang berabis mo anak sampai sakit-sakit mo berubat, enda juga dapat anak. Ada orang tu sinang-sinang dapat, bulih-bulih dia tuduh itu satu kesilapan yang berpunca dari orang lain, pas tu bulih cakap tarang-tarang sama urang, bagus dia kasi tu anak sama sia pasal sia enda pandai beranak sampai sekarang!!!!!!

*&^%#@!$^*(**^#!#$$^^(())(**&^%#$@#%&*((*&^%*(*&^%$@#!!@@#$%^&!!!!!!

Tasu napasa kepio tulun diri. Sudah kasi malu satu keturunan, sempat mengejek sia lagi. Kalau sa ada sana sekarang ni, memang patah riuk sudah sia kerjakan.

Nah, bagus sa brenti sebelum keluar hantu panas baran sia. Edeiii diti. Kinorohingan, ompuno oku. Otogod oku no poma kopio diti.

Book Game

2008-12-03T09:00:00.001+08:00

Everyone in my roll is doing this. Here's the sentence from my book.

"The anger that Jeremiah felt welling up in his own heart was not his own but the wrath of Yahweh." -- A History of God by Karen Armstrong (1993)

Come join in the fun! :)

Rules:
* Grab the book nearest you. Right now.
* Turn to page 57.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post that sentence along with these instructions in a note to your wall, and post your sentence in a comment here as well. Include the title of book and author.

2nd December...

2008-12-02T14:34:00.004+08:00

A memory visits me today.

Standing outside the registrar office.
Happy.
Scared.
Excited.

Later in the afternoon,
There was a wedding ring-
on my wedding finger.

Vows has been exchanged.
A letter was signed.
A party to celebrate.
A new life to live.
As a wife.

People speculated.
People judged.
We are two people from different background.
They said we won't last long.

God blesses us.
We are still here.
Together.
Standing strong.

Yes, we've been into many things.
It's true,
we are two people from two different worlds.

We once almost lost our faith,

trust and patience.

But this one thing called LOVE,

keep healing our wounds,

and grow bigger like us.

~~He he..

As long as we have love,

god will,

we will always be together.

United in this marriage.

2Nd of December will keep visiting me.

Same time, just different year.

Since it visits me again today,

why not I take it as a chance

to wish me and Monkey,

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Monkey dearest...

With you as my husband

my life is now complete.

I've found my Jerry!

Though sometimes I wish you were Tom.

Coz being a midget like me and Tom,

I could easily catch you

and drag you out from your endless meetings

so you could take me out to a candle light dinner!

Bad Monkey!

Bad..bad..bad..bad Monkey!

May I borrow your lighter please?

2008-12-02T14:13:00.003+08:00

Life as a teacher can be very interesting!

2008-12-01T13:22:00.003+08:00

You said English is Easy? Try these..

2008-12-01T13:18:00.001+08:00

Fill this blank withYes or No. Tell me what you got when you finish.

1. __ I don't have a BRAIN.

2. __I dont have SENSE.

3. __I am STUPID.

Ahhh... not so easy ah?

Ha ha!

Eeee...Seramnya!

2008-12-01T02:14:00.003+08:00

Kenapa Ella kenakan mekap macam ni ah? Rambut mengurai dengan baju warna putih pula tu! Sorry lah Ella, jangan marah I terpaksa say I seram tengok muka u dalam gambar-gambar ni. Ke, u sengaja buat penampilan macam ni? Ikut tema majlis ke?

Nice Jump!

2008-12-01T01:45:00.002+08:00

Latest Bra Design (18sx)

2008-12-01T01:30:00.004+08:00

No, I wouldn't try it! Would you?

Ada apa dengan CINTA?

2008-12-01T01:18:00.002+08:00

(Credit to isuhangat.blogspot.com)

CINTA, KEKAYAAN, KECANTIKAN, KESEDIHAN, KEGEMBIRAAN ...
Alkisah di suatu pulau kecil, tinggallah berbagai macam benda-benda

abstrak: ada CINTA, KEKAYAAN,KECANTIKAN, KESEDIHAN, KEGEMBIRAAN dan sebagainya. Awalnya mereka hidup berdampingan dengan baik dan saling melengkapi. Namun suatu ketika, datang badai menghempas pulau kecil itu dan air laut tiba-tiba naik semakin tinggi dan akan menenggelamkan pulau itu. Semua penghuni pulau cepat-cepat berusaha menyelamatkan diri.

CINTA sangat kebingungan sebab ia tidak dapat berenang dan tak mempunyai perahu. Ia berdiri di tepi pantai mencuba mencari pertolongan. Sementara itu air makin naik membasahi kaki CINTA. Tak lama CINTA melihat KEKAYAAN sedang mengayuh perahu."KEKAYAAN! KEKAYAAN! Tolong aku!" teriak CINTA. Lalu apa jawab KEKAYAAN, "Aduh! Maaf,CINTA!" kata KEKAYAAN. "Perahuku telah penuh dengan harta bendaku. Aku tak dapat membawamu serta, nanti perahu I ni tenggelam. Lagipula tak ada tempat lagi bagimu di perahuku ini." Lalu KEKAYAAN cepat-cepat mengayuh perahunya pergi meninggalkan CINTA tenggelam.

CINTA sedih sekali, namun kemudian dilihatnya KEGEMBIRAAN lewat dengan perahunya. "KEGEMBIRAAN! Tolong aku!", teriak CINTA. Namun apa yang terjadi, KEGEMBIRAAN terlalu gembira karena ia menemukan perahu sehingga ia tuli tak mendengar teriakan CINTA. Air makin tinggi membasahi CINTA sampai ke pinggang dan CINTA semakin panik. Tak lama lewatlah KECANTIKAN.

"KECANTIKAN! Bawalah aku bersamamu!", teriak CINTA. Lalu apa jawab

KECANTIKAN, "Wah, CINTA, kamu basah dan kotor.Aku tak bisa membawamu ikut. Nanti kamu mengotori perahuku yang indah ini." sahut KECANTIKAN. CINTA sedih sekali mendengarnya. CINTA mulai menangis terisak-isak. Apa kesalahanku, mengapa semua orang melupakan aku.

Saat itu lewatlah KESEDIHAN. Lalu CINTA memelas, "Oh, KESEDIHAN, bawalah aku bersamamu", kata CINTA. Lalu apa kata KESEDIHAN, "Maaf, CINTA. Aku sedang sedih dan aku ingin sendirian saja... ", kata KESEDIHAN sambil terus mengayuh perahunya. CINTA putus asa. Ia merasakan air makin naik dan akan menenggelamkannya. CINTA terus berharap kalau dirinya dapat diselamatkan. Lalu ia berdoa kepada Tuhannya, oh tuhan tolonglah aku, apa jadinya dunia tanpa aku, tanpa CINTA?

Pada saat kritis itulah tiba-tiba terdengar suara, "CINTA! Mari cepat naik ke perahuku!" CINTA menoleh ke arah suara itu dan melihat seorang tua reyot berjanggut putih panjang sedang mengayuh perahunya. Lalu Cepat-cepat CINTA naik ke perahu itu, tepat sebelum air menenggelamkannya. Kemudian di pulau terdekat, orang tua itu menurunkan CINTA dan segera pergi lagi. Pada saat itu barulah CINTA sedar, bahwa ia sama sekali tidak mengetahui siapa orang tua yang baik hati menyelamatkannya itu. CINTA segera menanyakannya kepada seorang penduduk tua di pulau itu, siapa sebenarnya orang tua itu."Oh, orang tua tadi? Dia adalah "WAKTU", kata orang itu. Lalu CINTA bertanya "Tapi, mengapa ia menyelamatkanku? Aku tak mengenalnya. Bahkan teman-teman yang mengenalku pun enggan menolongku", tanya CINTA heran. "Sebab", kata orang itu, "hanya WAKTU lah yang tahu berapa nilainya harga sebuah CINTA itu... ... "

Isnin yang bosan

2008-11-24T19:46:00.011+08:00

Isnin datang lagi.

Kenapa yah, Isnin selalu tidak menggembirakan?

Alicia dan rombongan (he he) sudah kembali ke Kuala Lumpur. Beberapa hari mereka di sini terasa sangat cepat berlalu. Belum puas lagi beramah mesra dengan mereka.

Apapun, thanks very much for visiting me. Tak sangka they sudi menginap di teratak buruk yang cuma ada tilam dan bantal busuk saja. Ha ha. (Tut, can u imagine San tidur atas tilam nipis dengan kipas angin saja?) I feel very touched, despite of their social standard, they humbled themselves and sudi to be my guests in my very simple house. Thanks a lot Alicia, San and Indai Alicia. Your visit means a lot to us.

Hari ini I went to work. Ajar tuition dua sesi. Urgh..aku dah tak tahan nak buat kerja ni. Kena terus positive nih! Positive innnnnnn.... negative outtttttttt.... positive innnnnnnnn......negative outtttttttt....phuurrrrrr....

Meanwhile, ni ada lagi sorang mamat hampeh yang masih lagi bertahan dengan konsep 'bukit' dia. Hu hu hu.

Bukan nak mengumpat atau mengejek dia. In fact, I dah gelakkan dia over the phone masa kami berbual tadi. Lepas tu scolded dia kuat-kuat sampai dia minta ampun suruh berhenti nagging. Tapi lepas tu dia tetap pertahankan pendirian 'bukit' dia. He he he.

I tak da lah marah kat dia. Sakit hati pun tidak. Dah biasa bertengkar dengan dia. He's a very good friend of mine. Kami sudah berkawan bertahun-tahun lamanya. Boleh kira dia ni cuma satu-satunya guy friend I yang paling rapat dan kenal dalam dan luar I. Ada sorang lagi lah, tapi dia sudah masuk kategori lain, iaitu kategori Monyet. Ha ha! Itu kategori special, cuma ada satu tempat saja dalam kategori itu.

Anyway, this 'bukit' friend keep insisting that my education, skills, knowledge and experience will have no value in Australia. Therefore, I should be prepared my mental that I'll only be good for house keeper, cashier, baby sitter or those celaner at the shopping mall. I thought he was joking at first but knowing him for over 8 years now, I noted in his tone that he was serious. I was like....erm, ooookkk, so you are saying pretty much whatever I have now can't be sold in there?

To my surprise, he say yes. Then added, you'll be pretty much like those Bangla in here. Even with qualifications, they won't recognise you. So you better be prepared for works like cleaning the mall floor or house keeping.

Duh! Did he really think I am only worth that much? If I didn't know his 'bukit' mind I would take it as a serious offend. It's not that I'm saying I am a big person or anything like that, it's true I'm only a normal person with limited qualifications and knowledge... but I wouldn't let myself of anyboy set my ability to be limited only for house keeper, baby sitter or cashier! Sorry, not in this life.

I know what I am capable to do. Ya, I'm willing to do any job including those mentioned above because there is nothing wrong with those jobs. But no, I refuse to agree that my ability, knowledge, skills and education is only good enough for those cleaning job. Better qualifications might give me a good pride and better job prospects but I really don't agree with the idea of having limited qualification will stop me from persuing my dreams and ambition.I won't give up my dreams and become a cleaner or tea lady just because I move to a country that requires me to compete with others! At the end of the day, it's not the paper that determine what I can actually do. It's my skills, experience and correct attitutes.

To Mr.'Bukit' Best friend , I am still laughing at your silly idea. Kah kah kah kah kah!

Oh, and he wants a proof that my father's house in kampung has Astro receiver. Ha ha ha ha! Isn't it funny? I asked him why didn't he go to my father's house last time he was in KK. He answered, I didn't know where to catch the boat. Wakakakakakakakakakah! Goodness me, I'm still rolling on the floor!

Next time I go back to my father's house I'll try to catch a boat to Kampung Patau. I'll definitely be 'in the same boat' with him because for sure I will not know where to catch the boat from. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Sorry T, I made fun of you here. No offence to you, OK? One day when you and your wife are free, I'll take you two to my kampung so you can witness my father's Astro receiver for yourself. Oh, and together we will find the jetty to my kampung. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Sorry, I'm too amused. Better stop laughing now and keep hitting that babe on the corner. Here, my new hobby:

(Oh no, not this one. This is only because I have no Monkey to mow the lawn!)

*Picture Deleted*

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*Picture Deleted*

Mimpi yang jahat

2008-11-19T00:29:00.004+08:00

Terbayang-bayang dalam kepala tentang mimpi petang tadi. Walaupun cuma mimpi, tak tahu kenapa sampai menganggu emosi aku.

Tak sangka pula termimpi insan yang pernah aku sayangi satu masa dulu. Itu kisah lama, kami sekarang masing-masing sudah ada kehidupan sendiri. Dia sudah lama aku lupakan. Kalau jumpa di tengah jalan, belum tentu aku akan sapa dia.

Kami berpisah dalam keadaan marah-marah. Masing-masing mahu menunjukkan siapa lagi ego. Bodohnya aku pada masa itu. Ketika berpisah, aku menganggap aku cumalah salah seorang dari teman wanita sampingannya. Maklumlah, dia dianugerahkan dengan wajah yang tampan dan kerjaya yang berjaya. Aku cumalah seorang wanita biasa yang kini semakin lemak berkrim menyakitkan mata.

Aku tidak menyangka dia sebenarnya berusaha menjejaki aku sejak aku angkat kaki meninggalkan dia tanpa sepatah kata. Melalui social network yang aku sertai, dia menemui aku. Sejak dari hari dia menemui aku, dia sering kali menghantar pesanan mesra sehingga membuatkan aku rasa bersalah kepada monyet yang aku sayangi.

Aku akui, aku merasa teruja mendengar khabar darinya. Ya, aku pernah menyayanginya...tapi itu dulu. Dia kini tinggal dalam lipatan sejarah lama, aku tidak mahu lagi mengimbasnya. Pesanan-pesanan yang ditinggalkan aku biarkan tidak berbalas. Ada antaranya tidak kubaca. Timbul juga perasaan kasihan, apa salahnya berkawan. Mungkin niatnya baik, semata-mata ingin berkawan.

Dalam mimpiku petang tadi, aku bertemu dengannya di tempat kami mula berkenalan. Aku merasa sangat gembira berjumpa dengannya. Perasaan itu adalah sama dengan perasaan sewaktu kami masih lagi berkasih. Dalam mimpi itu, aku berpimpin tangan dengannya dan kami saling mengasihi.

Apabila aku terjaga, perasaan itu masih berbekas dalam hati. Tiba-tiba aku merasa rindu terhadapnya. Aku mahu bercakap dengannya. Aku mahu menatap wajahnya.

Setelah terjaga sepenuhnya, aku masih lagi merasa perasaan yang aku alami dalam mimpi. Aku mula bingung. Apakah maksud semuanya ini? Mungkinkah aku sebenarnya rindu pada monyetku yang berada jauh di mata, tetapi teralih kepada watak dalam mimpiku? Atau, mungkinkah benar aku merinduinya?

Beberapa jam yang lepas, aku membuka peti suratku dan membaca pesanan-pesanan yang ditinggalkannya. Aku teringin membalasnya...tapi aku rasa bersalah pada monyetku. Jika aku balas sekalipun, apa yang patut aku tulis?

Midget, don't be silly. Itu cuma mimpi! Mainan tidur semata-mata!

Urgh...mimpi yang jahat! Urggghhh!!!

Mungkin aku perlu tidur sekarang dan bermimpi tentang perkara yang lain.

Aku tak dendam

2008-11-18T23:46:00.004+08:00

Hmm...teringat pula kat budak-budak yang telah menjahanamkan mood aku menulis di blog lama. Asalnya aku memang marah kat mereka. Kalau marah boleh ditimbang sukat dengan api, dah terbakar rumah bapak diaorang. Begitu punya membara marah aku kat budak-budak tu.

Entah bagaimana, aku tiba-tiba teringat nasihat pastor tentang perasaan marah. Aku terus menyesal kerana leka sehingga memberi ruang untuk perasaan marah masuk dan menguasai diri. Terasa bodoh dan malu terhadap tuhan, bukankah seorang Kristian bersifat sabar dan pemaaf?

Setelah membawa isu perasaan marah ini berulang kali di dalam doa, aku akhirnya mendapat upaya melawan kemarahanku. Bukan itu saja, aku juga berupaya memaafkan perbuatan mereka. Aku tidak lagi marah, jauh sekali berdendam. Sebagai manusia biasa, aku mungkin akan mengambil masa yang lama untuk melupakan perbuatan mereka...tapi itu sudah cukup baik kerana aku telah memaafkan mereka. After all, mereka juga cuma manusia biasa seperti aku. Kerdil dan berdosa.

Semoga tuhan memberkati mereka dan menyentuh hati mereka dengan caraNya sendiri...

Don't do this!

2008-11-18T22:46:00.005+08:00

I feel sorry for this first-timer aircraft passenger.
Please don't do this ya? It's hilarious..

(Credit to today-joke.blogspot.com)

Love is for all

2008-11-18T16:28:00.005+08:00

I feel much better now. My sister and her boyfriend are here to company me, they arrived this morning at half past four.

I got up this afternoon to find my buddies are already home from mingling with their mates in the neighbourhood. I haven't seen Mondow (the black cat) for two days, I thought he didn't want to come home anymore like his mother, Meck. Marong (the white cat) is the very faithful one, he usually comes home every night before 9 and go to bed with me.

Looking at them waking up with me touches my heart. I think animals understand love too. I managed to snap a photo of them before they completely got up and bugged me with their hungry meows..

Mysterious pain...

2008-11-17T21:13:00.012+08:00

I had two appointments at the hospital today. Both at the same time, 8 a.m., but different buildings. One of the things I don't like about me is that I am very bad at remembering all the medical terms the doctor used to refer on my 'unwell part of body'. Though, I remember what they did and aware of the reasons why they had to do it.

First appointment was to go to O&G and get my blood 'sucked out' from my vein. Unlike all of my previous 'blood sucking' sessions, this time is different. They needed me to fast the night before and then after they took the first specimen, they needed me to drink diluted sugar. I then had to wait for two hours after consuming the sugar water before the next blood specimen collection.

I don't mean to complain much about it, but I have to, something is bothering me about the way they run the place.

I didn't mind it much when I found out they already served the diluted sugar in the glass, but I mind it that they didn't make any effort to cover them! How could they ignored the importance of hygiene in the hospital? Doesn't matter, I'm not that pembersih anyway. I am a country girl, I guess I already picked up all those germs from our childhood playgrounds ~ paddy field, fish pond, river, drains...and so on and so forth.

There is this one thing that really disturb me. I'll try not to make it sounds too harsh or negative, there might be a good explanation for it.

The trolley and tray they put the diluted sugar were shared with the small specimen bottles, the one people put their urine! When I saw that......I was like... yuckkkkk..how could they do this!!! There were three bottles on the same tray with the diluted sugar, one was very brown in colour. The image of the brown colour urine was really disturbing me. Yuckkkk!

I looked around and spotted another trolley next to the specimen collection room. There was a black bottle there, it was opened. I didn't know what inside it until I saw a pregnant-looking lady took something from it. It was a stick. I recognised what it was. That's the thing nurses dip in urine to determine the presence of HCG. I was then thinking, maybe....just maybe, that was the tray for specimen collection? I tried to look for notes like 'Place your specimen here' or ' Sugar Water Only' but there was none. Well, what can I say? I see many nurses walking past the trolley, none of them did anything about it. The patients were responsible of it too, how could they be so ~~~~~~ ( or should I say ignorant), tak kan tak tahu beza tray minuman dengan tray air kencing?

I talked myself to remove the brown colour urine image from my head and finally managed to finish my sugar. After all, I was there to get free treatment, not to inspect their system. Plus the nurses at that particular unit were very helpful and cheerful. All the doctors (specially the handsome young Indian gyne) were very friendly and informative too. Hu hu..

After I finished my sugar, I went to the x-ray unit. I needed to do the fallopian tube check in there. Again, I forgot the medical term for it...

It was a quite embarrassing procedure for me. Maybe if the medical officer who performed the procedure was not young and handsome, I won't be too embarrassed. Ha ha. Getek. Good thing he was aided by two young female assistants, it helped my embarrassment a little bit.

They had to force open my uterus with a duck-beak-looking instrument. Then, they put in a long metal piece into my uterus. It was used to inject the special liquid into my uterus. Then they x-ray-ed it to see if the liquid went through my fallopian tubes successfully. I looked at the screen, all I saw was the metal piece, the rest didn't make any sense to me.

I was briefed on what I should expect during and after the procedure. The officer was really good, he entertained and answered all my questions ethically. He involved me in the procedure by telling me every step he did and asked me to tell him to stop if I feel any pain. He kept telling me I should expect only discomforts during and after the procedure. No pain. OK. Sound good to me. No extreme discomfort in the early stage of procedure, which was excellent. But when he injected the liquid, good lord, I screamed! It was very painful. They did the x-ray quickly and then the procedure was finished.

The medical officer told me everything was good, no blockage in my tubes. Thank you god for giving me good fallopian tubes.

I went back to the O&G unit to give my second blood specimen. That's when the real torture begin. They said they must not 'suck' my blood out from the same vein they did for the first specimen. The problem was, they could not see any other veins on both of my arms other than the one they did earlier. The officer tried his best, and his best was to guess where were my veins. The first attempt failed. He came up with an idea to take it from the top of my hand. I was like, Ooooooookkkkkk, you mean here? (pointing on the top of my hand and said oh no, not there... to myself) I told him he might hurt me. They made me took drips through there once, it was extremely painful. He rest assured me it will only feels like a bite of a small tiny ant.

Right. Small tiny ant ah? Here, take my hand and please make it quick then.

And as I expected, it was far from a small tiny ant bite. It was more likely a bee stung. I contributed my second screams. Still, no blood taken. None of my blood vessels on my hand cooperated with us.

He said sorry to me, which actually no need, because he was just doing his job. Finally, he managed to get my blood. That was after he tight my upper left arm tightly and I had to grip on my fist very hard. *Long sigh* Finally.

About 2 p.m., I went home to my bed. Even Jazzy didn't greet me at the gate. What a lonely life without Monkey and my cousin....

After changing my clothes, something weird happened to me. I thought the medical officer told me I won't feel any pain after the procedure, just discomfort. But there was something pinching in my womb. Something like I'm having a period cramp. It started slow...and after a few second, I started to feel a severe pain in there. It spread all over my tummy and suddenly the pain was already on my rectum, my thigh muscles, my knees and my toes.

I sat on the bed. The pain then spread to my chest, my shoulder and into my fingers. I was sweating. I felt nausea. I lied down in my bed, trying to ease the pain but sadly there was nothing I could do to help it. I changed my positions, still didn't help the pain. I didn't know what was it, the medical officer said I should not experience pain. I was groaning and moaning, hoping it would go away...but to no avail. I rang Monkey and talked to him. It didn't help much too. He asked me to rest, what else he could offer.

There was a point when I notice the tips of my fingers started to feel cold and numb. I got concerned so I tried to reach for my hand phone to call 999 but I guess I didn't manage it because I don't remember talking over the phone asking for ambulance. I don't remember what exactly happened after the thought of calling 999, all was blank. I don't remember feeling sleepy as well, but I found out myself waking up from a sleep with a large head ache about 7 p.m.

I'm not sure whether I fell asleep or pass out after the thought of calling 999. What makes me puzzled right now is that I don't feel that pain anymore, except for the the large headache. What was it, where did it go? All I feel down there right now is discomfort, as if I'm having a light menstrual pain, exactly like what the medical officer told me.

I wish I knew what happened to me before.

Whatever it is, I thank god I'm still alive.

My two bickering friends: BITCH VS PUSSY

2008-11-16T13:48:00.000+08:00

Yes, you read it right.

I have these two friends that express their love for each other through bickering. If nature allowed them, I believe they would choose to live happily ever after as husband and wife. Sadly, they do not have that option and therefore, they could only be good friends. Bickering yet loving friends. They are the most perfect example on how powerful is the power of love. Because of love, even cats and dogs would shake hands and forget their never ending issue, started by their ancestors. Here.........

JAZZY THE BITCH
VS
MONDOW THE PUSSY

Do you know anything about F.U.C.K?

2008-11-16T13:33:00.000+08:00

In ancient England, people could not have sex without consent from the king. When people wanted to have a child, they had to solicit a permission to the monarchy. In turn, they would supply a plaque to hang on their door when they had sexual relations. The plaque read...

"FORNICATION UNDER THE CONSENT OF THE KING" (F.U.C.K)

This is the origin of the word F.U.C.K

*What did you think I would write under this topic?

Roman Numeral ~ Not That Easy

2008-11-16T12:11:00.000+08:00

(Credit to Strangeworld.com)

The numeric system known today as Roman Numerals utilizes only seven symbols, which are added and subtracted to form any number. A superscript bar over a number multiplies it by 1,000, and two vertical lines in addition to the superscript bar multiply a number by 100,000. Thus the common symbols are:

I = 1
V = 5
X = 10
L = 50
C = 100
D = 500
M = 1,000

= 5,000
= 10,000
= 50,000
= 100,000
= 500,000
= 1,000,000

= 1,000,000
= 10,000,000
= 100,000,000
= 16,000 etc.
= 1,600,000 etc.

There was no symbol for zero

The rule is that when two figures are side by side, if the smaller is on the right, it is added to the larger, and if it is on the left, it is subtracted from the larger. So, VI = 6 and IV = 4. Exceptions to this rule are very rare.
Modern rules have also been added, and are that:

* No more than three of the same symbol can be repeated in a row, and V and L are never repeated.

* The smaller number preceeding a larger number cannot be more than two values lower than the other or be one-half of it. This leaves IV, IX, VL, XL, XC, LD, CD, and CM as the normal pairings, so we will most likely see 1999 written as MCMXCIX rather than MIM.

In reality, these rules were never followed by the Romans. To start, they used more than these seven symbols, and M was used only as an abbreviation of mille or milia, not used in combination with other symbols until the 15th century. Repetitions of numbers often exceeded the rule of three, but V and L were never repeated. Values including VIIII and even XXXXXX were common. The following table shows how much the symbols vary.

1. I

14. XIV

90. XC or LXXXX

2. II

15. XV

100. C

3. III

16. XVI

200. CC

4. IIII or IV

17. XVII

300. CCC

5. V

18. XVIII or XIIX

400. CCCC or C

6. VI or

19. XIX or XVIIII

500. D or I or

7. VII

20. XX

600. I C

8. VIII or IIX

30. XXX

700. I CC

9. VIIII or IX

40. XL or XXXX

800. I CCC

10. X

50. L

900. I CCCC

11. XI

60. LX

1,000. CI or M or or

12. XII

70. LXX

10,000. CCI or

13. XIII

80. LXXX or XXC

100,000. CCCI or

500,000. Q

*Message

On October XXXI, MCMXCIX we will attempt to rob the Last National Bank on MDLXXIX E. XXXVIIth Street in El Paso Texas. We will begin at XI o'clock in the morning. Each of the V of us will split the money. It will not be split evenly. Abel will get XXV%, Bob will get XXII%, Charlie will get XIX%, David will get XVIII%, and Eddie will get XVI%. If you need to contact me, call I-CXXIV-DLV-MMMDCLXXXIV

Cows from my students' crayons, a story from my late grandmother

2008-11-16T00:52:00.000+08:00

Have you ever drew cows when you were little? If yes, what was it looked like?

I had fun grading my students' drawings.

We decided to draw their favourite Chinese horoscope and guess what, now I know cows from children's crayons can be descent, can also be scary.

Check out some of their drawings...

(Obedient cow. You call, it responds)

( Confused cow. "Why is my skin colour not even?")

(Happy cow. Ones with botox-ed lips)

(THE COW. THE SCARY ONE! )

If you ever see this cow, run for your life! Ancient Dusun people call it DUHARUNG. Tale has it that DUHARUNG could suck out your soul and then feast on your body!

How do I know it's a DUHARUNG? My late grandmother, Kiyik Kawi, told me she once survived from something what she believed to be a duharung. According to her, Duharung was an evil which could change into many different forms. Usually it took the animals' form, started from the smallest to the biggest animal before it attacked. Look at the picture above. It looked like a cow, but it's not. The ears and horns were goats', but it suppose to be a cow. The eyes look very cunning and the mouth..... cows don't smile like that!

My late grandma was only little when it happened to her. She went to a wedding reception with her parents one day. She decided to walk back home with her sister because it was already late, yet their parents stayed for more booze. Her sister was only a toddler that time, she had to carry her half way home for she had fallen asleep. It was very late at night, they were lucky the moon was full. Back in those days (early 1920's), there was no such thing as torch light in their home. When they travelled at night, they used either pilasut (home made gasoline lamp) or depended on the moon as their light.

Half way home (note that during those days, there was no road like these days), she saw a mouse crossing the pathway. She didn't suspect anything until she heard a weird sound, something like an animal was groaning in pain. She looked around...all she could see was a small tiny mouse, probably the same mouse crossing the pathway before. Being curious, she stopped to stare at it. To her surprise, the mouse started to change into a squirrel. She suddenly recalled all those stories and safety guidelines her grandfather made her recited every day. She knew it was DUHARUNG, the most feared creature during their period.

Without waiting any longer, she piggy-carried her sleeping sister and ran for their life. Her grandfather told her nobody could survive from the DUHARUNG if it caught its prey after it completed its last form, which should be the biggest animal it chose to be (not sure which animals). In my late grandma's case, lucky it was chasing them slowly because it was still changing its form. She heard many animals' sounds like chicken, cat, dog, monkey, buffalo, cow and horse during its transformation. After running about 100 metres with her sister on her back, she lost all her energies. She could hear the sound coming closer. She had no choice but to stop and hid in the bush, just at the side of the pathway. Her sister was awake and started to cry. She had to shut her sister's mouth firmly with her hand, and she herself had to hold her breath. She was not dare to open her eyes. She said to me, she thought they would die that very night.

The most scary part was when she heard the creature's steps slowing down near where they hid. She could hear the creature's loud breath. It was looking around for them. After a few minutes, it made a loud sound, which according to my grandma was a horse sound, before it ran away. She dared not to open her eyes and look at the creature for herself...so based on the sound it made, she just assumed the last transformation was a horse.

She was still not dare to open her eyes, nor taking off her hand from her sister's mouth until she heard people's voice. She hoped it was the villagers who were coming back from the reception too. My grandma waited until she was sure they were 'human' by listening if they made constant 'human' noise/sound. When the noise came closer, she opened her eyes and peeped, ya, they were the villagers she knew. She took her sister out from their hiding spot and joined the people. The villagers then walked them home safely.

I personally think the story is beyond logical acceptance, but coming from my very own grandmother... I can't say she told me a lie. She was born during the period where there was no religion and Dusun people worshiped the stone, trees or any large objects found in the nature. Maybe it was different during those days. Maybe evil were really dared to show their shape to human. Old people (including my grandparents on my father's side) keep saying 'atalang neh meti tembiruo dit gulu-gulu po' (long time ago evil could be seen in their real form). Plus, my grandma was an honest person, she never made up 'true stories'. I knew this because every time she told me Dusun fairy tales like Yongkor-ongkor om Yanak-anak, she would start with "Long time ago in a very far village, tales have it that there were..."

She died at a very old age. I was not physically there with her on her last day but I knew and she knew it too, my love for her was with her. Until this moment, I still love her very much. I am sure I will continue loving her until the very last of my breath. This particular story was told to me when I was very little. Hence, I grew up adoring my grandma's braveness and love for her sister. We visited her only during the school holiday...and I remember every time I was near her, I thought I love her more than I love my mother. (Now, please don't tell that to my mother....)

Odu...may you rest in peace. See you again in the next life.

Perfect Cartoon for me and Monkey ~ Ha ha ha!

2008-11-15T20:56:00.000+08:00

The result indicated that I am not so clever!

2008-11-15T19:29:00.000+08:00

Yai!

Except for the first two questions, I got the answers correctly. Try it, it's fun!

The Stupid Test to Determine Smart People

OK. Pay close attention. Here is a very simple little test comprised of four easy question to determine the level of your intellect. See if you have what it takes to be considered smart.

Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting of time . and PLEASE no cheating!

On your mark, get set, GO!

1: You are competing in a race and overtake the runner in second place.
In which position are you now?

Answer: If you answered that you're now in first,
you're wrong!

You overtook the second runner and took his place, therefore you are now in second place.

For the next question try not to be so dim.

2: If you overtake the last runner, what position are you now in?

Answer: If you answered second to last, you are wrong once again.

Think about it...
How can you overtake the person who is last? If you're behind them, they can't be last.You would have been last.

It would appear that thinking is not one of your strong points.
Anyway, here's another question to try. Don't take any notes or use a calculator, and remember, your replies must be instantaneous.

3: Take 1000. Add 40. Add another 1000.
Add 30. 1000 again. Plus 20.
Plus 1000. And plus 10.
What is the total?

Answer: 5000?
Wrong again!

The correct answer is 4100.
Try again with good calculator.

Today is clearly not your day, although you should manage to get the last question right...

4: Marie's father has five daughters:
1. Chacha
2. Cheche
3. Chichi
4. Chocho
5. ?

Question: What is the fifth daughter's name?
Think quickly... you'll find the answer below..

Answer: Chuchu?
WRONG!

It's obviously Marie!
Read the question properly.

You are clearly the weakest link.
Now challenge your friends!

Getting ready to break up with my best buddies...

2008-11-12T22:10:00.000+08:00

I received two heart-breaking emails from Monkey today. It's not anybody fault. Monkey is only being helpful and trying his best for us. True, in life, it's not always rainbow and butterflies. Sometimes things happen...

Here are the heart-breaking emails. Don't worry, these emails maybe quite personal but they are not a secret. My frustration is not a secret anyway...

Sent: Wednesday, 12 November 2008 12:26:51
Subject: dog import info.

Hi sweet.

Not really good news this time. I've attached the Australian Quarantine regs for dog and cat import from Malaysia.There are a lot of vaccinations and tests the dog needs to have done before it can leave Malaysia.

As it works out (mostly with the rabies vaccination and follow up blood test), the shortest period the dog could be in Quarantine here is 30 Days. (The longest 150days). The dog can only come to Sydney.With all the application fees and accommodation charges, it works out at AUD$1064 (RM2900) for 30 days, PLUS Airfare.

IF the dog stays in the Quarantine station for 150 days, it works out at AUD$2106 (RM5750) PLUS airfare.Not good news I'm afraid, my sweet. Sorry.

Mu'ah for now
Monkey

On a lighter note, I'm sorting out my tax and EPF arrangements over the next couple of days and getting together some more of the documents we need for the visa application.

Sent: Wednesday, 12 November 2008 1:17:47
Subject: Car Import

Hi sweet.

Just finding out about car import now. Looks like we have to have the car valued by an Australian Valuer when it arrives over here.

The way they value it is up to the fellow that values it. It seems that the way they estimate the import charges is like this:

Say the car is worth RM38,000...The customs duty on that is 10%.

So RM38,000 / Exchange rate (2.75) = AUD$13,818 x 10% = AUD$1381 (RM3,800)

The GST added to that again = Car Value PLUS Transport and Insurance costs (APPROXIMATE = RM10,000)SO, RM38K + 10K = 48K * 10% = RM4,800 (AUD$1745)

SO, total we pay to transport the car is RM8600 + RM10,000 (approx) for transport and insurance.RM18,600 (approx) to bring the Myvi into Australia! (AUD$6765)PLUS registration, Road Tax and Insurance here (approx AUD$850/RM2340)20K ++ WOW AH!!!

I asked for a quotation from a transport company to see how much they will charge but may take a week or so to get their quote back.

All for now my love,
Monkey

I replied with this and now ready to lie down and rest..
Suddenly I feel as if there is something very heavy on my chest..

Monkey darling,

About the cats and dog, I'm willing to let them go. We can't afford them. Realistically, we need the money more than pets, no question asked. Even though they are my very best buddies, they are soon becoming luxury items which we cannot afford.

*Sigh* Finally I have to face the reality.

I don't know what to do with them other than planning on ways to sending them to the animal shelter. I don't have a heart to put them to sleep, it's not me. If the people at the shelter decided to put them to sleep, just, don't tell me or ever mention it to me. I must get in touch with Joseph again and arrange volunteer works with them at the SPCA while I'm still here. This way, hopefully I won't feel too guilty leaving my buddies there soon.

My heart is now shattered into pieces. You know, it ached severely before it shattered. Have you any clue how it felt Monkey? If you haven't, you'll know it when you get back here and stare at the happy dog, playing hide and seek with the cats..

I swear I'll never have ANY pet again in my life. This is very painful. After this one, pretty much I'm done with breaking up. Never in my life I want to break up with anything anymore...so I better not to start anything when I knew at the end of the day, breaking up issue will arise. From now on, you and I must say no to pets. You'll have no choice now but to be my everything. I mean, seriously, EVERYTHING. That includes being a 'pet'. Don't argue, just say yes. Sometimes I got to be very bossy and you have to be scared of me so just say yes. It will make it a lot easier for me to deal with this break up.

About the car, I have no better option than to break up with it too, haven't I?

Another break up, eyy?

Boy, this isn't going to be easy. Now I start to understand moving to Australia is not merely about starting a new life. It's also about giving up with pretty much everything I love in here. The cats, the dog, the fish, the plants... and now the car. If money grew on trees, I'll start planting them now so we can have all the money we need in this life...

Now, please don't tell me I have to give up the VCDs, DVDs, CDs and books as well. Or else, I'll get more reasons to get stressed...

I better lie down and rest now before my head get any opportunity to consider another bowl of ice cream. They said resting helps the stress too.

Don't worry Monkey, the pets and I will be alright soon. I'll break the news to them when I'm ready.

Enjoy your water skiing tomorrow. Don't forget to look at the girls in bikini and tell me what's the bikini trend is like now. Don't stare at them thou..or else, you'll get 'eye shit' in the morning. Talk soon.

Luv ya,
Emotional Shorty
xoxoxo

Sedih...Keliru...

2008-11-12T16:39:00.000+08:00

Bermacam-macam perasaan melanda diri kerdilku ini. Tidak tahu mana satu kah yang harus didahulukan. Ketika fikiran berkecamuk, hanya doa mampuku lafazkan, semoga yang Maha Kasih menyertai setiap langkahku...

Sedih
Ditelan mati emak, diluah mati bapa. Demikianlah perasaanku terhadap sepupu yang berada di bawah jagaanku. Aku ingin memberi yang terbaik kepadanya, memberikan dia peluang menikmati zaman membesar yang normal seperti rakan sebayanya yang lain. Jika ibu bapanya telah tiada, mungkin aku tidak akan berkecil hati jika tiada siapa membantuku menyediakan keperluan diri dan sekolahnya. Memandangkan ibu bapanya masih ada, sihat sempurna serta berpendapatan jauh lebih tinggi dari aku, tentu lah aku merasa jauh hati. Segala perbelanjaannya aku tanggung, walhal aku hampir tidak mampu menyara diriku sendiri. Esok dia kuterbangkan balik ke kampung untuk bercuti. Perancangan awalku ingin dia memasuki asrama penuh agar dia dapat manfaat yang lebih berbanding dengan sekolah harian. Disebabkan aku merancang untuk berhijrah, mahu atau tidak, dia terpaksa balik ke kampung kerana tiada siapa yang menjaganya di sini kelak. Tapi inikah yang terbaik untuk dirinya? Kepada siapakah dia mengadu nasib nanti? Kanak-kanak perempuan yang sedang meningkat remaja memerlukan idola untuk membesar. Seorang wanita dewasa perlu mendampingi dan memperkenalkannya kepada alam sebenar seorang wanita. Aku sudi menjadi wanita itu...tapi bagaimana nanti apabila tiba masa aku berangkat pergi? Entahlah...aku tidak tahu apa patut aku lakukan. Aku merasa sedih, mungkin esok adalah hari terakhir dia berada di bawah bumbungku.

Keliru
Sebelum ini aku ada meluahkan perasaanku tentang perihal pekerjaan yang aku tidak gemari. Aku telah nekad untuk meninggalkan bidang pekerjaanku dan mengepakkan sayapku selebar-lebarnya. Semasa aku mengalami kemerosotan keyakinan dan kesakitan hati akibat memaksa diri, aku telah berjumpa dengan ketuaku untuk menyatakan hasratku meletakkan jawatan. Cuma satu yang menghalangku, iaitu kontrak yang aku tandatangani semasa aku bersetuju menerima tawaran pekerjaan ini. Aku tidak menyemak dengan teliti tempoh kritikal perkhidmatan, aku terus menyetujui semua terma tanpa usul periksa kerana menyangka aku tidak akan bertukar fikiran lagi selama-lamanya. Itu khilafku. Ternyata hanya tuhan saja yang kekal, hati manusia sentiasa berubah. Aku difahamkan aku perlu berkhidmat selama lima tahun. Hasratku terbantut apabila mengenangkan kontrak masa kritikal perkhidmatan aku masih berbaki 2 tahun. Seminggu yang lepas, lantaran didorong oleh perasaan paranoid berpisah jauh dengan Monyetku, aku menghubungi kerani yang menuruskan perjanjianku. Aku meminta jasa baiknya menyemak semula fail ku. Aku terkejut dimaklumkan perjanjian itu sebenarnya hanya mengkehendaki 36 bulan tempoh kritikal sahaja, bukannya lima tahun! Sekelip mata segala perancangan berubah. Perubahan rancangan yang drastik ini sedikit sebanyak menganggu emosiku. Aku keliru dan takut. Rasanya aku belum bersedia untuk meninggalkan Malaysia. Aku telah membuat perancangan untuk dua tahun yang akan datang. Aku telah mengatur strategi peningkatan PNP untuk jangka masa dua tahun. Tempoh melangsaikan hutang-hutang juga aku sandarkan pada jangka masa tersebut. Aku tidak tahu dalam tempoh masa enam bulan ini, mampukah aku menstruktur semula rancangan dan melaksanakan semuanya dalam tempoh yang sebegini singkat. Arrrrggghhh!!! Jiwa kacau...

Perkara-perkara penting

2008-11-11T18:29:00.000+08:00

10 perkara yang aku perlu rancang dengan teliti mulai minggu hadapan:

1.Pergi ke kedutaan Australia untuk mengemukakan permohonan visa dan taraf penduduk tetap Australia.

2. Merancang tempoh bertenang sebelum mengemukakan permohonan meletak jawatan kepada Kementerian Pelajaran.

3. Membuat keputusan sama ada membawa kereta berhijrah ke Australia ataupun menjualnya di sini.

4. Menghubungi jabatan kuarantin Australia dan meminta maklumat prosedur membawa anjing dan kucing-kucing kesayanganku ke sana.

5. Nak buat apa dengan perabot-perabot dan buku-buku yang banyak ni?

6. Menggunting kad-kad kredit dan melangsaikan bakinya.

7. Menyiapkan mental untuk memikul tanggungjawab sebagai Ketua Panitia pada awal tahun hadapan sekiranya bernasib malang diamanahkan tugas tersebut. Atau, patutkah aku berterus-terang dari awal kepada guru besar tentang rancanganku meletak jawatan?

8. Menyiapkan mental untuk memulakan hidup baru di negara lain.

9. Menguruskan persekolahan sepupu di bawah jagaanku. Perlukah aku menghantarnya balik ke kampung untuk bersekolah di sana, atau menerima tawaran sekolah berasrama di sini sekiranya ada?

10. Memotivasikan diri agar tidak lemah semangat menghadiri kelas yoga dan tarian. Yuran dah bayar, dancing shoes dah beli. Kalau hilang motivasi seperti kelas nyanyian dulu, tentu kepercayaan suamiku akan hilang dan tidak akan membiayai apa-apa hobiku lagi. Noooooooooooooo.......