I'm back to work again after a long good holiday in OZ. I don't know why but I'm so glad to be back to work again. Some friends said I'm crazy for feeling guilty having to receive full pay on my holiday. What can I say, it's not something that I made up, it's really what I feel for getting paid on my holiday. I'm taking tax payers' money for sitting at home with my legs crossed, how can I say I'm happy? I'd be lying if I said I was not happy when I made my trips to Penrith shops but still, when I go to bed and reflecting on what good and bad things I've done during the day, it falls on 'bad things' category. Well?
I know I have not being true to myself (again) when I said I will make an effort to keep writing here. This time I won't blame it on anything, this is just how I work with this blog. Although I am not very consistent with my blog, I still love reading other people's blog. I love commenting on their writings too. Sometimes I emailed the blogger to praise on their marvelous writing style as a way of encouraging them to keep good post coming. Can't blame me, can you? After all, their writings are my reason to surf the net. Otherwise, I would just subscribe newspapers and read on all the government lies!
Most of my favourite blogger could make me feel like I am reading them, sitting next to them - scrutinizing their brains. Some of them are really awesome that I can't wait to read their updates. Among all blogs that I read, those racists and religion fanatic blogger are the only ones that annoy me the most . NO, I'm not a fan, but somehow I keep coming to their blog to see how far those shallow people could go with their shallow opinions. Many times I go back there only to prove to myself that other people out there too, have bad days like me. Only they could not get over it and therefore taking it on other people. Visiting their blogs is kind of reminder to myself : If I don't get over my bad day, I could end up exactly like them! Touchwood.
You see, every time I got inspired by people's excellent writing, I craved so much to be like them. I would work my brain on ideas, drafting for days, but you know lah, people like me is never talented at anything. Ordinary people like me with ordinary English vocabulary could only produce ordinary writing. I never wonder why my visitors never return or subscribe or have anything to do with my blog. Oh well.
Enough with that. Let me bore you with something else.
I am planning to join Monkey in OZ for good this year. To be honest, I can't say I am up for it for I still love what I am doing here in my hometown. It's not about me starting to fall in love with my job; it's the hometown and its people. When I was growing up, I wanted so much to get out from my hometown. I hated everything in here. All I wanted to do was to be a grown up and then disappeared forever. As I grew up and traveled some part of this globe, I started to realize, I did not hate my hometown. It was not the town that made me sick- it was my parents. I later learnt that 'home' was what I wanted to leave.
Now that I'm back to my hometown and living separately from my parents, I am able to see the beauty of my hometown. I started to love it, I want to live here. Though it's only a small and quiet one, it offers me serenity and security. The people are sooooooo good, I feel accepted and appreciated here. But my husband needs me, just like I need him too. He has been sacrificing a lot for me in the last five years. He did everything to make me happy and comfortable, even though things he did were against his own pleasure. He put me first before his own needs. Five years is a long time, it is enough time already. I guess it is now my turn to pay back his goodness to me. He deserves every bit of it. I am trying my best to prepare my mental for this plan.
One thing I know I should not do is to worry about this. I believe god will only let me experience life within my ability. It's soooo good to believe in god, isn't it?
Most of my favourite blogger could make me feel like I am reading them, sitting next to them - scrutinizing their brains. Some of them are really awesome that I can't wait to read their updates. Among all blogs that I read, those racists and religion fanatic blogger are the only ones that annoy me the most . NO, I'm not a fan, but somehow I keep coming to their blog to see how far those shallow people could go with their shallow opinions. Many times I go back there only to prove to myself that other people out there too, have bad days like me. Only they could not get over it and therefore taking it on other people. Visiting their blogs is kind of reminder to myself : If I don't get over my bad day, I could end up exactly like them! Touchwood.
You see, every time I got inspired by people's excellent writing, I craved so much to be like them. I would work my brain on ideas, drafting for days, but you know lah, people like me is never talented at anything. Ordinary people like me with ordinary English vocabulary could only produce ordinary writing. I never wonder why my visitors never return or subscribe or have anything to do with my blog. Oh well.
Enough with that. Let me bore you with something else.
I am planning to join Monkey in OZ for good this year. To be honest, I can't say I am up for it for I still love what I am doing here in my hometown. It's not about me starting to fall in love with my job; it's the hometown and its people. When I was growing up, I wanted so much to get out from my hometown. I hated everything in here. All I wanted to do was to be a grown up and then disappeared forever. As I grew up and traveled some part of this globe, I started to realize, I did not hate my hometown. It was not the town that made me sick- it was my parents. I later learnt that 'home' was what I wanted to leave.
Now that I'm back to my hometown and living separately from my parents, I am able to see the beauty of my hometown. I started to love it, I want to live here. Though it's only a small and quiet one, it offers me serenity and security. The people are sooooooo good, I feel accepted and appreciated here. But my husband needs me, just like I need him too. He has been sacrificing a lot for me in the last five years. He did everything to make me happy and comfortable, even though things he did were against his own pleasure. He put me first before his own needs. Five years is a long time, it is enough time already. I guess it is now my turn to pay back his goodness to me. He deserves every bit of it. I am trying my best to prepare my mental for this plan.
One thing I know I should not do is to worry about this. I believe god will only let me experience life within my ability. It's soooo good to believe in god, isn't it?
1 comments:
So you're considering moving? Well, pray about it. It's good to be close to your Monkey and in turn make some sacrifice. Anyway, how are things going with you so far? I am doing okay here. Just sad that we couldn't meet during the holidays. Anyway, miss talking to you and do update from time to time. Xoxo! :)
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